A chief complaint I hear on sites which are not essentially findom geared is how their messages tend to end up discarded,and that is even if they are read. Now this tends to be not the case on findom sites,but the information I am going to relay applies regardless of site.
To begin with lets address why these missives are disregarded.
1)How are you addressing the message? This can be quite important believe it or not. If you are starting it out with a canned title ie Miss,Maam,Mistress,then you are committing a faux pas that will not earn you a second glance. You may believe that you are showing deference,but by not reading the Lady's profile which should provide some indication of how she desires to be addressed,then you may in fact be insulting her. I know myself that I cannot stand being called Miss,Maam,or even Mistress,and believe me boys,I am not alone in that. Another reason why this is not in your best interests is that it is indicative of a chain post,meaning that one types up a single message,and spams it to 50 different females employing an umbrella term(see above titles) which they believe to apply to the mass rather than the individual. This type of message is not viewed in a positive light,and generally ends with the sender being blocked. Solution=do not do it. Take the time to read a female's profile,personalize your message by including her username,and what it was about her that led you to reach out ie her interests,fetishes. Do not,and I repeat do not convey that you contacted her based on her appearance,for that is shallow and selfish.
2)The body of your missive should not be comprised of vulgarity(wank spank language or bar behavior),text speak(lazy,immature),or sentences which begin with "I want,I like,I need" as this coveys to the reader that you are in the scene for you,that you come only to cum,to get yours,that you are concerned with only yourself(selfish sots are not submissive). The impression you want to impart is one of servile respect for her as a dominant woman,and human being.
3)Do not add photo attachments to your message. If the Lady in question desires to know what you look like,she will ask,so tamp down that impulse. It is presumptive,and rude.
4)End your missive with appreciation that she has taken the time to read it,and invite her to view your profile if she finds you of interest.
5)Do not contact her again until she has responded. Desperation,neediness,and aggression are the only things you are relaying with repetitive and redundant missives. Remember that you are here to serve her,on her time and schedule,and that she may be busy with others,so be a good boy and wait your turn.
6)Another huge and I do mean huge mistake you could be making is in the photo section of your profile. If and when a female does take a gander at your profile,she is going to be immediately soured on you if she is flashed with images of your penis,testicles,or asshole. I realize that some of you are not comfortable with your face being attached to your profile on a fetish site,but there are other options. Put up a photo of your pet if you have to,but do not comprise your photo album of dick picks,or vulgarity,and if you do not know what that word means,then google it.
7)Make sure to actually fill out your profile. Yes I realize that it is not a fun undertaking for many of you,but it is in your best interests to do it. List your limits,what you seek,and how you can be of value in a D's relationship,essentially what you bring to the table. It is wise to note your level of experience too,as well as interests outside of kink,yup we want to know you as a person.
8)I mentioned it up above,but it definitely needs prime attention! Read her profile before you contact her,and yes that means the entire thing,including her interests. This will save you wasted effort,in that if you are an adult baby,sissy,scat lover etc...and she happens to list these activities as hard limits for her,then you should not contact her...move along.
9)Last but not least. If your message looks like this "I wish you were closer","You are hot,beautiful,sexy" "hi,hello" then hit the backspace tab,and do NOT send it.
Now the next time you locate a female whom you believe that you would suit serving,think back on what I have said before you let your fingers run away with you and ruin any chance you may have had.
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