Thursday, March 28, 2013

Priorities

If you do not have your priorities straight then you are not going to do anyone any good. Most of you limpwicks seem to think that by offering to serve that suddenly a Domme is going swoop in and eradicate all of the unpleasant issues in your life, like a Ms fix it... knock knock knock reality check..not happening, I mean seriously get for real. Your "house" needs to be in order before you are worth a shit in service. You must be able to stand on your own two feet before you can kneel before a Goddess.

Being able to live your life with a lady as the main focus should be the way of service. This is one of the biggest deterrents for me in accepting those that are married, along with the fact that I am one of the Dommes that does not engage in homewrecking, and before anyone wants to get all pissy, no I do not judge those that do it, merely that it is not to my taste. I actually believe in the sanctity of marriage, meaning that I see serving when you are married as cheating plain and simple.  A married with kiddos male should in essence be concentrating on his family, not his own selfish perversion.  His first obligation being to them, not me...and that defeats the purpose of service for me. Call me selfish, but it is the way it is. I expect a male to be absolutely devoted to me without baggage complicating the path of training I employ. Not to mention that my fetishes tend to run towards activities that leave marks (bruises and a bit of blood) along with the use of training tools such as chastity devices, panties, dildos, and plugs..all of which would be difficult to explain or hide from a spouse.

This is the exact reason why single unattached boys are given greater consideration. Why wouldn't a Domme opt for service from a male that is able to devote his time outside of work to her happiness rather than one who must work her in around his other obligations? It makes sense when you think about it.

Of course none of what I have said will apply to the pay for play type kink peckers, but then I have no use for them anyway. I expect to be served, not the other way around. My desires do not include catering to male's fetishes, instead they are to embrace mine. I know that many ladies enjoy the come and go guys, but for me personally I am here to engage in a LTR with those that are worthy of my realm, and quickies just won't cut it online or RT.


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

Showing your submission, not your ass

Today I am going to sketch a brief outline of how to approach me with positive or negative results.

If you come to me straight away begging to serve me, I am going to assume that you have done your homework on me, and grasp my expectations for those serving me. Let me give you an example of a  typical exchange I go through daily. "Mistress I wish to serve you", now I am going to ask why you chose to contact me out of the sea of ladies in the scene. The most often used reasoning is that I am so lovely and that they appreciate my views on domination, which brings the next line of questioning. "In what manner can you be seen as an asset within my life?" Now this is where things tend to go askew, and my interest in this interaction abates. I have received ass pics in response to this question along with a myriad of smart ass or what they view as a humorous come backs, which leads to me blocking any further contact, due to the fact that I have no interest in speaking with those whom appear to be lacking in intellect. Those that have their wits about them would recognize that when I ask how you will be an asset in my life that it is a gentle cue to tribute, not an opening to relay all of your fetishes, or how you crave to clean my kitty or to lave my ass, especially seeing as my profiles all state that I do not engage in any type of sexual activities with those that serve me.

Some males are now scratching their head thinking how are they to impress me with how wonderful they are if I am not interested in seeing pics of their privates, or being molested with the morsels of information about their filthiest fantasies. Simple pets. Think to the saying about the meek inheriting the earth. Come before me displaying humility, and you are more likely to engage in an actual conversation of worth with me. Be able to speak with me outside the fetish desires, for I enjoy coming to know an individual, rather than only that which gains a rise from them. Have the preparations made beforehand to set a tithe at my feet sans me asking, and for the love of all, do NOT ask me how much you should send. The initial tribute amount is always decided upon by the pet. If you are cheap it will be apparent, just as if you are broke that will be reflected as well. Some fear that if they send a substantial amount that I am going to immediately demand more....alas I am not. A pet that truly desires to sacrifice and suffer for me will gift me with the amount that they can relinquish to me without me prompting them. This is the type of behavior I expect from a male who has any type of experience serving a lady who employs findom, as I am not the type of Domme whom exerts force to receive the bounty of adoration heaped upon me. All that is given must be done of free will with a clear decision to do so.

I realize that some of you are nervous and fearful of making mistakes when speaking to a Domme, so take a moment to compose yourself, and breathe before initiating contact. Make the most of your opportunity to display that you are a truly submissive male instead of a selfish fetish boy, and remember that most of us do not bite hard the first time you find yourself kneeling before us ;p

All that I have shared within this post is based on common sense if you think about it. I mean would you approach an unknown lady on the street and ask her if she wants to see a pic of your penis...ummm bet you wouldn't, nor would you attempt to get to know a lady by telling her all of the activities that turn you on. A D's relationship requires the same time and effort that a vanilla one does. It does not occur overnight, and impatience will spoil the chances all together. Think before you type, and by all means do not allow your little head to do the speaking when you are in the presence of a lady.




Saturday, March 23, 2013

The secret of findom success

Every day there are troves of new ladies entering the findom scene who have no idea what the scene is really all about. They read the blogs and twitter feed of those considered the top Dommes, then attempt to emulate their style of domination, all without success. Upon realizing that what they are doing is failing to achieve the results they desire, they then seek out one of the Dommes asking for the secret of findom. The ironic part is that even once given the information they need, they still do not believe it, therefore they disregard it, and tread the path of frustration instead.

At this point you may be saying "what the hell is the secret to being a successful FinDomme?" Drumroll pleeeeeease......... BE YOURSELF! Now how many of you are calling BS on this one? Hard to believe, but it is the truth.

You cannot try to be something you are not, and expect precise results. Yes I have heard the saying "fake it til you make it", but that is not going to work in this instance. Acting like another will only bring you the type of males attracted to that style, but if that is not who you truly are, then you are setting yourself up to fall. No one is more perfect at being you than you (TRUTH), so why even try to lose who you are in anyone elses personality?

It is true that you may never receive the amount of tributes that others do, but that does not mean that you are any less successful than any of the top Dommes. Try looking at it this way, success is subjective, therefore if you define it as being able to attract to yourself the exact type of males who mesh well with your style and have sought one just like you, then you are indeed successful.

There are thousands of males in the scene looking for a lady to worship and adore, so never fear that there are not ones out there who will beg to serve you even if you are not the cruelest, the hottest, the best known, the youngest, the oldest, the most experienced, the least experienced.etc.... You get my point right? Just be you, and that will attract ones who will appreciate you for who you are.
saturday boobie tease

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Will be working on a post this week sometime...have an idea of what I want to put out there but have not decided if I wish to do a vid of it or just type it up...


Monday, March 18, 2013

Reality based perception

In an ideal relationship a lady would be able to depend upon those that serve her...notice I said ideal. It is not the ideal that I intend to speak of though. I am a reality based thinker, which means that I do not believe in all of the smoke and mirror versions that I see referred to daily.

To place your faith in the males who inhabit the scene is tantamount to setting yourself up to fail. This is not me being a negative nelly...this is reality. One of the things that makes me cringe is when I see ladies depending upon males to pay their bills, and then complaining when the boy in question skips along to another Domme. The saying that sums it up best is "Don't count your chickens til the eggs hatch"

I employ my fetish, it does not employ me. This is why I would never part from my vanilla career, well that and I enjoy my chosen profession. Seriously though, why would you ever place yourself in a position where meeting your obligations hinges upon the expectations of a boy doing as required. That is not to say that all males are a letdown of life...merely that placing the responsibility for your commitments should lay with you first and foremost.

Some ladies do make findom their entire source of income, but I see them as the exception, for the majority shall never be so fortunate to have their lifestyle funded solely by those that worship them. To alleviate any confusion, clips, nf and the likes is not what I consider findom, it falls within the realm of the adult industry business, therefore the income generated is not labeled as tribute.

Basically what I am saying is that wisdom would not advise you to leave behind your day job in the hopes that a fat wallet fish is going to land in your net and feed you for life. Depend upon yourself for your needs, and look to those that serve for your wants.


Thursday, March 14, 2013

The forgotten virtue.

Patience. Why is it sadly lacking in most individuals, and how does this affect a successful D's relationship?

My thoughts are that as we have evolved into an instant gratification society, we have put to the side of the road the virtues which fail to satisfy the entire "what I want,when I want it, and how I want it" mentality. This approach reminds me of how a child would think and react. A young child has yet to develop patience therefore they expect to receive what they desire when they desire it, else wise they are known to act out in a tantrum...does this behavior remind you of any adult individuals you have interacted with within the scene?

This occurs on both sides of the findom fence everyday. Look to the males who want to rush through the entire process of being considered and trained, right to the collaring phase. Fortunately for these boys, most experienced ladies recognize when a male is experiencing sub frenzy, and take the necessary steps to slow their roll. If not then a sub would miss out on the fulfillment of earning the title of being owned. Working and putting forth effort towards reaching a goal heightens the appreciation of reaching it. Just having it given to you detracts pleasure from the experience, so heed my advice to take the time to smell the roses along the way boys. Following the measured lead of your lady will enlighten you as to how service should be to her, and this will shape you into a sub worth collaring.

Onto the other side of the fence. Daily I see ladies claiming ownership of a male the very day they meet and receive an initial tribute, which eventually if not sooner than later leads them to disappointment when they realize that the male in question does not align with their views on how a submissive should behave. This creates an unnecessary strain which most times places both in an unenviable position, where each side suffers through a negative experience. If only patience had been employed by placing the boy under a consideration instead , then a period of coming to know each other would have turned the negative into a positive, so you see, rushing through all things is not always the most prudent route. You never know what you may miss out on if you had only taken the time to get to know those that serve you.


Tuesday, March 12, 2013

What findom is to me

Many times I am asked what is findom in my estimation. Well here is my answer, which may not align with yours, but then it is of my mind and creation. To some it is a game played with seductive words, and erotic enticing visual images. One where the victor is undecided as each side parries to attain their objective. Bilaterally the objective is the fulfillment of desires, whether it be for cash or cum. In the end ideally an exchange of power(money) and pleasure(release) is relinquished. Needs and requirements met for both. End of game til next the hunger arises.

 To others it is a decision and commitment of lifelong intent. A journey undertaken which is paved with trust, time, and effort. A partnership where one is led, and one leads. One becomes a living breathing extension of the other. Symbiotic in their desires. Desires that are based upon the wants of one, which pleases both.

 My definition falls within the gray aspect. It is a combination of eachdescribed. A seduction of the senses leading to a sincere pledge of servitude is my goal. My agenda simple, one where I set out to bring to me those that see not the end of a game, but those that relish the duties of pleasing me in service. My words are their guide to life, with my happiness becoming the fuel which feeds their efforts. A relationship in which they strive to lay all that I deserve at my feet.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

How you approach a Domme says alot about you as an individual.

Many of you run through a windfall of emotions prior to working up the courage to speak with a lady, so why ruin it with a few simple words? If you take a moment to just breathe and put thought into your introduction it will possibly save you the possibility of being seen as merely another boy in a long list.

Be original. Compliments while lovely, are simply not enough, we have heard them all, and they will not capture attention. What will make you stand out among the throng of males in the fetish you ask. Simple. Be polite, and when you send an introduction note include a tribute, no I am not telling you to break the bank, but nothing screams out that you are a male of serious intent like a lovely tribute does.

Do your homework prior as to how the lady wishes to be addressed so as not to offend her, and include some details such as how you came across the ladies information, and exactly what it was that enticed you to contact her. Do not over share your personal desires! Details pertaining to such are better saved until you are asked per the lady about your fetishes and such.


Your missive need not be over long as a lady receives numerous messages daily, so keeping it short and sweet is to your advantage, so long as it is not a one liner. Most importantly be respectful, and free of any indications that you have expectations of her. Remember that you are meant to be a source of pleasure to her...and no I do not mean sexually, so keep your hands on the keyboard when composing correspondence.

Most ladies are extremely busy, therefore do not become agitated if you do not hear back from her immediately...although if you have enclosed tribute as I advised, then you will receive contact from a Domme more quickly than a message without it. To be honest a great many will not go out of their way to speak with you if you cannot be bothered to or even afford a modest tribute. Standing out means taking a chance, and if a small tribute seems like too much of an expenditure, then you are most likely not meant for the findom scene.

To quote a famous saying "carpe diem"  meaning gather your courage and instead of lurking, introduce yourself!

Making mistakes

Human beings are imperfect creatures thereby prone to mistakes. This is a fact. None of us are without flaws or errors in judgement at times...not even me lol.

After speaking with a very wise fellow lady I realized that I am seen as being an imposing perfection seeking Domme which is accurate, yet not. Sounds confusing, but truly not so. I expect those that serve me to falter...it is all part of the learning process, which I plan accordingly for. The truth be known, is that I am far less lenient, far more demanding, and far less forgiving upon myself when it comes to mistakes then I ever would be with a male in service to me.

Here is an example of what I mean. I had a puppet come to me last week asking to serve, and after a conversation to ascertain that our styles aligned, I agreed to take him on for a probationary period. Now one of my hard and fast requirements is 2 daily check ins. One first thing in the morning, and the other at night. I realize that with work and personal responsibilities that a male may not always be able to interact at great lengths daily, but it takes less than 5 minutes to send off a message.

At first he did quite well, then came a day when there was no morning greeting, to which I sent him a reminder of his duty. He of course apologized, which I accepted, but lo and behold the same mistake was repeated the next day morning and night. Now this time I did remind him of consequences as he had been given a free pass for the initial error. He agreed with the punishment and fines(paltry ones at that) that were levied upon him, but alas the next day was a repeat of the previous. Mind you his excuse for failure had nothing to do with any health issues or emergencies. At this point forgiveness will be costly if given at all.

This is not about expecting him to be perfect, but I know that when I myself err that I do my utmost best not to repeat the behavior which led to it. I take training seriously, and see it as my task to aid a sub/slave to bettering themselves through service, which means not letting things slide. You may be thinking how harsh I seem, but the main point behind daily messages is to ensure for my piece of mind that my pets have woken for the day alive and well, and that they are safely home at night. Does this seem like the behavior of one whom has not a care for their boys?

In closing, it is not perfection I expect from those that come to me, but I do expect them to strive towards learning from the mistakes they make.




Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Epitome of beauty

I wanted to take a moment to discuss a topic which I seen posted on a findom forum relaying that you must be a size 2 and under 25 to be worthy of worship. First off let me say that this is utter nonsense. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and levels of maturity,which any true connoisseur of women would concur with.

Throughout history the acclaimed epitome of feminine beauty has ran the gamut of chronological ages and physical attributes, which is why I place no value upon what society deems attractive. There is something of beauty to be found within every female if you take the time to go beyond the obvious. Only those of a shallow disposition shall be oblivious to it.

If the original opinion were to be considered a fact, then a great many gloriously beautiful women would never have attained the height of popularity which they did. To point out just a few, consider the thousands of men whom worshiped Marilyn Monroe as their living goddess, while at the time being a size 12 and over 25, or Rita Hayworth the legend of many an erotic fantasy, was a softly curved lady, who was crowned a sex symbol in her late 20's and continued to reign through her 30's, oh just one more because I always have admired her loveliness, the gorgeous Sophie Loren who continues to be lauded as a natural beauty well into her late 70's.

So for all of the ladies rockin curves and glorying in their age "you go girl", you are proof that beauty is beautiful irregardless of age or size.