Drama bashing&hater smashing

It seems like every single day I read some torrid trite composed of bashing and trashing of a fellow Domina,and I ask myself what is the point of perpetrating this type of behavior?? Does the writer believe that it empowers them,or furthers their own reputation by engaging in juvenile antics such as this? Do they recognize that cyber bullying is not acceptable in any form? If this is how you conduct yourself and your affairs,then seriously you need to grow the fuck up. This is and never will be how a mature individual handles themselves. Adults recognize and accept that they shall not like everyone,nor that all will like them.

How one deals with confrontation and criticism is a defining part of their character as a human being. If you cannot handle being put down,then obviously you have never lived in the real world. If you expect everyone to agree with you,then you are suffering from delusional thoughts as well. Trashing a person on the basis that they do not kiss your "perfect" ass is plain old BS period. What the hell are you doing on any media forum if your mentality is no greater that a high school student?? Take my advice and get out now before you reveal to all your level of immaturity. Do not mistake me when I say that this is not directed exclusively towards the younger ladies in the scene,for I have seen older females engaging in this behavior as well. It is not attractive irregardless of age,nor does it attract sincere gents to your service,which is the ultimate agenda for any Domina is it not?

All that I see accomplished from this drama is further tarnishing of the findom reputation. Your actions do not affect only you as they reflect poorly upon the community as a whole. For fuck's sake attempt to think before you type,and refuse to allow anger to rule your words and deeds. There are no winners in hate based interactions.

This type of exchange becomes even further exaggerated when gang mentality comes into play,ie someone trashed my "friend,ally etc.." Then we get a whole gaggle of people tossing out insulting verbiage,which accomplishes nothing. For some odd reason the group feels as if they have the right to bash on others while defending their buddy. C'mon now, if your friend cannot handle their own issues,then they have no business calling themselves a dominant.  Your actions compound the situation by pointing out clearly that your comrade is weak in nature and in need of other's strong arm tactics. Is this the picture you truly wish to portray to the online world? Do you want the communities to view you as a bully? Try googling the explanation behind the psychology of bullies...one word comes up again and again(insecure)...is this you??

I can imagine many of you asking,how the hell am I supposed to react then if not with angry words? Try to remember that if you respond with anger,then you have already lost. The best course is to give forth no fuel to fan the flames. There is a reason why sites and forums give you the option to block one another. Use it. All of us have been insulted at one point or another but refuse to allow it to touch us personally. I mean do you really give a shit if a total stranger passes judgement on you? If you do then you are not living your life,someone else is controlling how you view yourself,and by the way that is not the action of a dominant person.

In closing keep in mind that if you do not care for someone,avoid them. If you are offended by their opinions or statements,then do not listen to them,and the most important thing is to keep your mind and your tongue upon your own business.

Time is precious

I have briefly touched upon this subject previously in posts,but now I find it imperative to expound upon my line of thinking in order to relay the thoughts behind my actions. Availability for me is the time I am willing to allot towards interacting with others pertaining to the "getting to know you" preemptive phase, which most times is minimal at best, as it requires mere moments for me to decide whether I desire to delve further. Unfortunately for the prevailing lot of you,first impressions leave lasting memories which means that if you come under my radar as an absolute waste of my time,then you shall not be given any further notice. Considering that I place a self imposed limit of time which I make myself available online,I refuse to spend it willy nilly.

Throughout my advent into the online fetish community I have spent an inordinate amount of time conversing with fellow ladies and soaking up all pertinent information pertaining to online domination, as my fount of knowledge has been fed by the bubbling pool of real time, which does not always equate well to the practices employed within this sphere. The one piece of advice which repeated itself through voices and words was that it requires hours upon hours devoted daily to establishing oneself and making a success of such a venture,and while I have over a year under my belt,my name is not widely known. This is not a fact which evokes despair within me as I am content along my chosen path.

To some my approach would seem puzzling as is not the goal to overflow my accounts with sub cash,and fill every stall in my stable to bursting with slaves? Should I not be trolling the sites and media forums sacrificing sleep in order to glut myself upon the spoils of slaves? Forget not though that all ladies are not created as duplicates,and that their end designs are not twins of each other. Success is subjective,and is measured in differing manners. Irregardless of whether my ambitions are shared with the majority matters not to me,for it is my thoughts and pleasure with them that counts,and it would not bring joy to my life if I were tied down to my computer 24/7 as I have heard it deemed necessary. This alone relays why my time is not wasted in idle chit chat in chat rooms,or logged into messenger day and night. This measure is not meant as a deterrent to those whom hold sincerity within them,and a true desire to come to know and serve me. What it does mean though,is that any male of mine or desirous of becoming so shall be forced to put forth more effort in order to connect with me one on one.

There is a reason that the number of hours in a day are numbered,and I would have that time spent with those and activities which enrich my life,rather than trying my patience,and draining my energy. Online is not a job for me nor my sole source of income,therefore I will not sell pieces of myself attempting to be something or someone other than myself in a pathetic attempt to replicate what others define as SUCCESS.

It may never be that I will rival the radiance of the sun within the fetish community,nor is that my ultimate aspiration,but I do know for a fact that those whom appreciate me for the sadist feminine Goddess that I am shall bow before me and find a place at my feet. Though their numbers may be small per my selection,they are diminished none.

little excursion

Yesterday afternoon was a marvelous time for me! Trekking through the slate creek wetlands an hour before sunset. I am never more at peace than when out in nature. The view was glorious,and I was treated to the sight of deer,doves,and dragonflies galore. Factor in the romance angle of spending precious time with my man=perfect excursion!!

I intend to plan more little side trips like this in the coming future as it is quite a calming influence for me when the day to day stress threatens to overwhelm my senses. Now be good little boys and work hard to fund my fun :)

Wham bam scam

A couple of days ago I was reading an article about a mother-daughter duo whom scammed individuals out of money with the ploy of aiding US soldiers which I personally found repulsive, but it did make me think of the correlation between those females and ladies within the scene. Now before anyone gets their knickers twisted I shall explain why I said it.

These females did indeed perpetrate a scam which loosened the purse strings of many people with the intention of benefiting themselves financially, and is this not how we ladies whom employ findom are viewed as well? I cannot count upon my fingers and toes the sheer number of instances where I myself have been belittled and stoned verbally as a scammer due to my requirement of tributes from those that serve me. My treatment not unlike that of a leper within the bdsm community. I did not take to heart the treatment heaped upon me though as I have not forgotten since my entry into the realm of lifestyle bdsm that people by nature shun that which is different and misunderstood. Dommes that have been around the block or two already know that some days you just need to cover your head with an umbrella to avoid the hail from the shit storms which rain down in judgement of our fetishes as expected.

I looked up the definition of scammer at dictionary.com and this is what it says "

a confidence game or other fraudulent scheme, especially for making a quick profit; swindle."

Does this describe anyone that you know? I can honestly see why others are led to categorize FinDommes as such, but then I as well know that we are mislabeled. In my estimation a scam is something that is covertly played out sans the marks knowledge, whereas it is quite transparent when dealing with a FinDomme that finances will be involved. Anyone that does not realize this is either ill informed due to lack of research..or simply an idiot. I know not of a single Domina in the findom scene that does not expect tribute. Can you my readers relay to me the name of one?

The main difference in my eyes between the above mentioned duo and FinDommes is the deceit involved. I do acknowledge that within every group there are some cow patties that do bamboozle the unsuspecting, but for the main part findom ladies are those whom display integrity about their intentions. I mean seriously if you read a few tweets or status updates it is clear anyway ie "I want to drain you dry" "The only thing of interest to me is your wallet" "Fuck you,pay me". How could these statements possibly be interpreted incorrectly? The reader unless a moron can deduce that they are expected to pay.

This is not a cloak and dagger game where we hide who and what we are or even what we demand from our servants while upon twitter, fb, or websites. Mind you I am not saying that some ladies do not keep it separate and secreted away from their personal or professional lives, but never within the scene. Think about it, how are we to acquire what we desire if our designs are not disclosed?

I am by no means deluding myself into believing that I can change the outlook of the majority with my little post, but that does not mean that I cannot attempt to now does it? In closing I remind you ladies and gents to choose wisely whatever insults you opt to lob fit the action lest you betray your own ignorance.

Saturday night session

Running rather behind on this update,but then it is my blog now isn't it lol

Let's see...Saturday night I had a wonderfully ass bruising session with my real time boy..such a stress relief to break out the paddle,flogger,and crop. Unfortunately I do not have any pics to display my work of art since he is a very shy boy that has a hard limit about posting most of our sessions :( , but I am free to share the details :D

I absolutely love playing with my boy. He never comes empty handed,nor does he come with complaints or begging. We have played together for years,so he knows exactly what I expect in the way of protocol and how I like to begin.

We began with an offering, and of course strict eye and speech restrictions are enforced. He knows to then follow behind me by 3 steps until standing in front of my bed then to disrobe down to his pink panties which were once mine,then he went to his knees awaiting my instructions.

Now is when the fun begins as I lay out the toys I intend to use upon his tender flesh. Once the decision has been made I command him to to get up and bend over the edge of the bed with his arms stretched out in front of him and his eyes to remain upon the photo of me that is set upon my pillow with his chin resting on the exact spot where my lover's cum drenched the sheet prior to my boys arrival.

I had opted to warm his ass up with some light slaps of my bare hand,then onto the paddle. It is almost orgasmic for me to see how red he gets so quickly. After 22 swats(the 2 extra were a punishment for him arriving 2 minutes late) I break out the crop to see if I can match the skin tone of his ass to the back of his thighs which is easily accomplished lol,and yes I do tend to laugh when I watch him dance around as I apply it vigorously. The little gasps and cries like the sweetest of arias to me.

I finished up with some light flogging to his upper back and ass...delicious!!!

Of course kindness can be a bit cruel so I applied icy hot to his arse when I was done along with a Good Boy.