What do men really want?

 

 I am here to give you the unvarnished truth, as to what men really want. Some of you may be in doubt as to how would I know what men really want considering that I am not a man, nor am I am masculine leaning woman, but I do have decades of interacting with men on a more than superficial level, and yes I am dating myself by stating this.

Most of us are guilty of buying into the prevalent myth of men valuing sex above all things. I am not denying that sex is high on the list for men, but it does not rank the highest. You might even be surprised as to what does stand atop the pinnacle. Ready?

Intimacy of interaction: Men want an intimate connection, just as badly as women do, and no this does not make them weak, or Lord forbid, unmanly. It merely makes them human. Human beings need connections. They need to be heard, seen, and valued. They want a woman who will acknowledge their existence on an emotional level.

No doubt you have been told that men are rough, tough, and need no one to stand by them, but that is a lie. Of course it is not a bad thing to be rough, tough, and stoic in the face of adversity, but in the end, men are human beings, with human needs. They possess a desire to be validated for their opinions, dreams, and desires. The most basic of which, is someone who will listen to them. A person who will allow them to crack their shell, and let out their vulnerabilities. 

As a woman, I have never been shamed for wanting, nay, needing a deeper connection with a fellow human being. I have always been free to express my innermost thoughts, doubts, and fears without being mocked, or labeled weak for doing so. This is what men want most of all. They want someone they can freely be open with. Imagine living your entire life never being able to be fully yourself. Having to hide your emotions from the world. Sound like a fulfilling life to you?

Not having this avenue open to men, leads them down a dead end path. This is why you see so many men reaching out with their penis, rather than with emotional intellect. Sad yes? I for one am full up with compassion for these men. They have been misled from the onset, then as further insult, they have been molded into a caricature of unhealthy manhood. They deserve better than they have received. Trying to convince them to veer from this course is the greatest of obstacles to be overcome though. Are you up to the challenge?

New Year's Resolution

Hip hip hooray...it is New Year's Day, and here you are celebrating the changing of a decade with the divinely celestial Sydney Claire :)

I wonder how many of my faithful readers made the obligatory New Year's resolution. Did you? It seems to me as if there are recurring themes to the annual promises. Such as, health, wealth, or happiness. Does that sound about spot on to you?

I myself, made no resolutions. Resolutions tend to be exhaustively huge life changes, which are statistically bound for failure, unless you are one of the scant few who actually successfully holds up your end. Have you made resolutions which failed? If so, why do you believe that they bombed?

In my opinion, people tend to reach entirely too high and too fast when making resolutions. They place unrealistic expectations upon themselves, and that leads to failure, which creates self-directed unhappiness, depression, and even anger. People in general would benefit more from making more easily attainable short term resolutions.

Example 1
*Say you want to lose 50lbs. Well than, instead of saying "I am going to lose 50lbs this year", begin small by vowing to

-cut back on eating out
or
-fast 1 day per week
or
-drink an additional 8oz of water daily

Any one of these alterations may very well enable you to lose 1lb per week. Add that up, and voila bb!!

Do you see the point I am directing you towards? If you keep the step short, you are far more likely to climb it!

Example 2
*You want to save up money for a luxury item

-cut back on eating out
or
-fast 1 day per week
or
-drink water instead of coffee and soda

Now take the money you would have spent on these items, and piggy bank it til you have enough to treat yourself to the desired item :)

I honestly want to see people succeed, but to do so, we must first acknowledge that we are the ones preventing it from happening, and actively seek to help ourselves reach the goals we set. It feels so good to achieve positive changes in our lives, and we all know that there is a strong correlation between positivity and happiness, which is the ultimate goal, yes? It definitely is for me. 

Wishing you all success and happiness in this coming year!