This is one of the most common and problematic lines I hear from males in the fetish scene. Real is a subjective term in this instance,for what they mean is not based upon the actual definition of the word real. It is employed to relay their own personal definition rather than what appears in the dictionary. This is where confusion tends to rear it's head. The term real can mean many different things,to many different people,but I will endeavor to provide a bit of insight into what it most likely means when a male approaches a FinDomme stating that he is seeking a "real" Domme.
1)A real Domme does not charge for her time and attention. She happily caters to the wants of selfish males sans any regard for her own desires. Now let's clear up a point here,the type of female sought here is not a Domme. It may fall in line with what a service providers offer(catering to male wants),but her services are not free,so it cannot be that. Could it be a sugar baby he is looking for,cause she will most likely care about what he wants,but oops she does not care for free. Hmm this actually makes me think that what is sought is a submissive female,for that is the only female who is in the fetish to serve a male wants for free while negating her own.
2)A real Domme is dressed in leather,and coiffed to perfection every moment of the day,with a whip in hand.
Yup now that is a fantasy. Dommes are people too. They have lives and loved ones of their own,and they are definitely not waiting around all day online for males to just appear and give meaning to their existence.
3)A real Domme gets naked for the viewing pleasure of those that serve them. Ok this one kinda peeves me. I realize that some females do session nude,or gift males with flagrante photos,but that is not inclusive to all. I have never once played with a male where my tits and bits were visibly bare and on display,nor do I send out peeks of them as a "good boy" reward,or as an enticement to come calling. I am not,and I repeat NOT bashing females that do,but this is not me,and I know for a fact that I am not alone in this decision.
4)A real Domme sells clips and offers cam sessions. This one denotes a lack of intelligence. Selling clips is a service. It is a business,just as selling sessions is an aspect of business,and not all Dommes treat findom as a business. The fact that one doesn't,does not mean that she is not a "real Domme". It just means that she is not a business woman. Oh and bois,buying clips or sessions does not make you a "real submissive" either. It makes you a customer.
5)A "real Domme" wants to date and or marry a submissive male. This one makes me laugh. Women have types that they are attracted to,just like in the "real" world. Some do date submissives,and that is ok,cause it is their choice,but not all do. Do not make an ass of yourself assuming that all Dommes are alike,or declaring them fake because they are attracted to non-submissive males.
6)A "real Domme" is loud and abrasive in speech. Where did this fallacy evolve from? A bully bullies,yells and is outright aggressive. This is not a needed behavior for Dommes. If one needs to yell to get their way,than I would not consider them dominant at all.
There are so many more examples,but MzSydney only has so much free time in her day to relay wisdom. The point I want most acknowledged from this post,is that one must recognize that the term "real" may not mean what you think it means when someone else employs it,so when in doubt,just ask. One simple question can save tons of time.
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