Gentlemen,gentlemen,gentlemen...ack I am hesitant to even employ that descriptor to the majority of you,and you know why.
I am going to share some personal experiences with you, and explain why I find a certain prevalent behavior amongst the male sex to be a rather disturbing.
To begin with do you know what ghosting is? Ghosting is where someone just ups and disappears off of another person's radar altogether. Interactions, and contact ceases without reason or excuse provided. Dommes see this alot in the fetish connection. Males who are so eager to serve, and beg to be of use in the onset, just poof without notice, or regard of how their actions will impact the Domme. Ghosting is at best, the act of a coward. It is shameful, and should be treated as such.
Ghosting is not contained to the fetish world, but branches out into the vanilla scene as well. It is an equal opportunity crime perpetrated by both males and females alike, and seriously it is disgusting. If you were raised with any decency at all, you would not do it!
I myself have had this happen to me many multiple times in the kink realm, but never in the nilla one. Why do you think that is?
I have had long time serving males engage in this behavior, and believe me when I say that YES it does have an impact, not to mention damaging the ability to trust future submissive applicants. In fact I have reached the point where I no longer bat an eyelash at it, because I place no faith in a male's good behavior until it is proven over a long period of time in service.
I have heard submissives as well complain about being ghosted after the first tribute. Does it happen, of course, do I condone it, NO. There are reasons why people ghost, but most times, they are known only to the ghost.
I am here to tell you now, that it is never acceptable, and that it makes you look like an asshole. Of course you may think nothing of it, but the fetish scene is smaller than you may think, and information travels at the speed of light, when it comes to ill behavior. Doubt me not!
Dislike of confrontation is quite normal to human beings, which is just 1 reason why people ghost without explanation, although it still does not excuse it. My advice is to "man up" so to speak, and just flat out tell a Domme that you do not want to serve her. Of course she has the right to be upset, or to ask why, and most likely she will ask. When I have had males relay to me that they have decided no longer to serve, the very first thing I did was ask why. Feedback is very important for growth, so if I their decision has been motivated by my actions, I want to know it, so that I can take steps in the future as to not repeat my mistakes. Does that make sense? It is about being an adult, and showing the same type of respect that you expect to receive yourself.
I have let males in service to me go, but they are always made aware of why I am doing so. Explaining to them why I came to the decision I did, allows them the opportunity to learn from the experience, and perhaps evolve into a better submissive someday, and is that not what we all seek...to be a better dominant, or submissive?
It takes a mere moment of time to end a connection, and even if you feel the need to protect yourself by immediately blocking after sending the "pink slip" notice, send the notice! Never burn those bridges gents, cause someday you just might want to revisit where you have once been.
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