Squash The Misogynistic Blame And Shame Game

 

 

    If you have been a member of social media longer than a hot minute, you will have at one point or another ran into conversations or notations concerning a site called Only Fans. I myself am not a member of the site, nor have I ever even browsed their site, but millions of people have, and do on the daily. It is a very successful website, that commands traffic like nobody's business. 

   What makes this site successful, you ask? They sell a product which is almost older than time itself. SEX. Sex has always sold, and sex will always sell. There will be no stopping the revenue stream sex enables. Is this a bad thing? Some would argue so, whilst others would demand it continue as their right to pursue happiness. I will not muddy the waters with my own two cents as my purpose is to make you think, rather than telling you what to think.

   The website is comprised of independent artists who sell their wares, while the parent company enriches itself with a percentage of the profit. Capitalism at work my friends. Is this exploitation of a vulnerable class, or merely a symbiotically successful business venture? The artists who employ this site as a means of product distribution are noted to do so as consenting adults. This means that no one is forcing them to join, display, or sell their items on the site, which is good yes?  This does not mean that some of the content creators have not been "forced" down this avenue out of desperation for means of survival, yet this remains a choice they themselves have made to ensure continued housing, and negate physical hunger. 

   The majority of creators are of the female persuasion. Why do you think that is? Could it be due to the customer base being comprised of majority males? History has shown us that men are willing to pay for sex and pleasure in one form or another. This has always been true, and always will be true. 

   I am reserving judgement here, but many aren't. In fact, quite a few are very vocal in regards to their distaste, disdain, and downright hatred of sites such as these. The most vehement critics I have taken note of, are male. Not to say that some women are not anti-porn peddlers, they are, but men are more vocal about their dislike. What is it about these sites that make a minority slice of men angry?

   Who are these men? I am going to break it down to the reasoning voiced for the disturbance of the existence of said sites as a classifier. 1)It is immoral 2)It is indecent 3)It is a stain upon society 4)Women are whores 5)It is exploitation 6)It encourages and abets human trafficking 7)You shouldn't have to pay for porn, or feminine attention. Do you agree with any of these opinions? 

   The outrage is real, folks. The focal point of the outrage is what bothers me though. Where is the focus spotlighted? Women. Women are the beings who bear the blame and shame. Look back to reason #4. Women are accused of taking advantage of lonely depressed males who do not have, or are not capable of forming "normal" intimate relationships with the opposite sex, which leads them to sites where women are readily available to fulfill their erotic fantasies, and provide them with a feeling of the intimacy they lack in real life. 

   Men make a choice to visit these sites. They make a decision to spend their money on them as well. Who are we to declare these men victims, when they themselves have opted to walk this path? As well, what right do we have to blame women for selling these men a product that they obviously desire? Companies sell their products online daily, and no one complains, but since they are not selling sexual images, it is ok, right?  Earning a living is what we as human beings have been indoctrinated to do, yet if it is done so in a proscribed manner (even if legal), than it is condemned, and the sellers scorned.

   The entirety of my issue with this conflict, is that women are being blamed and shamed, yet if men were not willing to purchase the content, then there would be no sellers. Supply and demand is very much the root origination of the sex work industry, so why are men not bearing the brunt of blame, when they are the ones enabling the continuation of women producing content?

  Thoughts, and opinions always welcomed.

 

Sex work shame

Welcome to the glamorously seedy slice of Sydney Claire.

Sex workers is an umbrella term which many shelter under.

Who are sex workers?

-cam girl

-Dominatrix 

-escort

-prostitute

-phone sex operator

-clip producer

-porn star

-premium snap chat sellers

-strippers

-nude models

Long list huh? 

Sex workers are walking down the sidewalk beside you. They are dining in your restaurants, sleeping in your hotels, shopping in the grocery store with you. Your typical sex worker looks just like any other woman you see out and about. I have not seen a single one wearing a scarlet letter, or holding up a sign proclaiming her occupation while out just living life.

Sex workers are highly disdained by the general public men and women alike. Sex workers are considered unclean & immoral and as such are stigmatized. They are banned from payment sites, and websites. Some are even shunned by family members. Does this sound like the recipe of a happy life?

There are a variety of reasons why women engage in sex work, and despite what the main stream media declares, the overwhelming majority of these women have not been forced into the lifestyle via trafficking. Some need the money gained from sex work to survive, whilst others thrive upon the sexual excitement of sex work. Regardless of the reason, these women do not deserve the less than humane treatment they receive from a judgemental society.

Sex workers are shamed and blamed for all sorts of issues. They are accused of being the harbingers of disease, and divorce, yet this is a lie. Did you know that sex workers are tested for stds at a higher rate than the general public? Sure, you are thinking that they must due to their "risky" lifestyle, yet you have thousands of ordinary people walking around untested & infected, but hey, atleast they aren't sex workers!! In regards to being the root cause of divorce, they are not the married man stepping out. They are not the husband spending hard earned dollars to bust a nut. They are not the men ignoring their relationships in favor of peeking at porn. Hold men accountable for their actions, instead of blaming sex workers for providing a service.

It is entirely too easy to blame ills at the feet of sex workers, and I am absolutely not absolving them as an entirety, for they are flawed human beings just like the rest of humanity, but I am calling foul to the world of sin setting upon their shoulders.

Why do people blame the sex worker, but not the customer/consumer? You do realize that without a market, sex workers would not exist yes? Think of it like this. If ALL men stopped frequenting strip clubs, would those clubs remain in business? If ALL men stopped clicking on porn hub, would they go under financially? This is simple truth. Sex workers exist because of a demand for their existence. They serve a purpose, so unless you are actively shaming, shunning, and imprisoning the very market which keeps them in business, shut up!





 

The truths of sex workers

Welcome one and all to the world of Goddess Sydney's words of wisdom

Today I am going to preface this post with the obligatory notation of "not all", since so many choose to argue when it is not stated.

Sex workers are some of the kindest, and most compassionate people that you will ever encounter. Did you already know that? I bet not.

Why would I make such a sweeping generalization in regards to sex workers? Well, of course it is based upon my own experiences, and notice of behaviors. In society you will see that sex workers are looked upon with scorn and ridicule. They are treated as lesser beings. It is assumed that they must be intellectually and morally inferior to the rest of human beings, which in my estimation is doing them a horrible disservice. 

It is often presumed that sex workers are 1 or more of these things

1)sex addicts 
2)besieged with Daddy issues
3)come from an abusive background
4)are trafficked  
5)emotional or physical masochists 
6)misandrists 
7)drug addicted
8)diseased(physically or mentally)
9)unkempt
10)meat for the male market
11)sans human emotions
12)unlovable 
13)of no worth
14)suffer from decreased or non-existent self esteem
15)less than human
16)immoral

I point you now to my previous prefaced statement.

The sex workers that I know, are far from being clinically diagnosed as sex addicts, most do not suffer any type of mental disorder, nor are they haters of men. They entered sex work to achieve their financial goals, not unlike those of you who opt for a non-sexual career. They are the ones calling for safe sex practices, unlike the general populace of males contacting them asking for bareback action. They generally possess a love of self, and value their services as being of worth, which is why they charge fees. 

Sex workers are very human, and on a more basic level than most, for they see the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly aspects of their clients day in, day out. They serve as substitute mother figures, therapists, confidantes, and lovers. 

They are the first ones to step up and speak out about injustice. They support charities and fellow sex workers, sans having a personal stake, or expectation of receiving rewards for their actions. They are in fact a hell of alot better than the majority of males who contact them. They are educated, and able to entertain conversation at above par levels. They are savvy business women. They are success driven individuals with strong work ethics. Don't believe me, well than take a moment to read the social media of most sex workers. I have seen many of them helping each other out,without gain. They do not require being shamed into acting like a decent compassionate human being, the polar opposite of the clients in the sex work scene. If anyone should feel guilt, it is the males who fail to stand up for these wonderfully creative, and resilient women.

Let's flip this script, and look to the average male who contacts a sex worker for services.

1)They treat women as if they are merely a pair of tits, a wet pussy, and an available ass. (Wow, hmm kinda sounds like they are the ones dehumanizing, and attempting to knock someone's self worth)
2)They ask, request, demand unsafe sexual practices (sounds like someone looking for an std)
3)They feel free to threaten violence when a sex worker denies them time or attention (misogynist much)
4)They believe it acceptable practice to send unsolicited dick pics (did you know that it is illegal to sexually harass someone)
5)They attempt to barter, and haggle over prices to the point of shaming sex workers for charging for their services

It is time to stop marginalizing sex workers. They are a group comprised of strong willed women, who play an integral part of humanity, so stop treating them as if they are intellectually, and morally challenged. Show them the same respect you would expect to be accorded, and if you truly are an ally to them, than speak out against those that are attempting to squash their voices!