Thursday, July 30, 2015

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Real Domme,the relative term

How many times have you used or seen used the term "Real Domme"? Once,twice,a hundred times(my hand is blowing in the wind). Real real real,true,true,true..used interchangeably,yet not really the sane.

What do people mean when they use the term though? Do they mean real as in alive and breathing? Do they mean real as in genetically born female? Do they mean a Domme that has 20 years experience under her belt? Do they mean a Domme who works in a dungeon,and handles a whip better than a roman soldier? It is a study in confusion at times to know exactly what someone means by "real".

Real is a term that is defined by each individual,but...most often when I see it on the fetish sites listed on a male's profile(and yes I have even asked the poster what their definition is)it is most generally a reference to a Domme that does not expect tribute. It is reasoned that to be a real or true Domme,then the "gift" of a male's submission should suffice as a tribute. My query to the poster at that time is "why does a Domme expecting to be appreciated,worshiped and adored financially make her any less real"? The responses do vary,but the overwhelming and most common being that Dommes who expect tribute are whores. This explanation never fails to astound me,because when I seek out the dictionary for the definition of the word whore,I fail to see any reference that does not include sexual relations,and I am not personally acquainted with any Domme who requires tribute,that will engage in intercourse for payment with those that serve them,so that insult does not fit properly...yet such ignorance and close mindedness continues to forge on regardless.

What else constitutes a real Domme in the minds of males? Cam verification of course. Dommes are expected to flip on their cams and prove that they are female,now unless I am mistaken,you are not going to get proof of that without dna or a cooch flash. Now which one of these options are most likely to occur? The biggest kicker in the entire equation is that the real Domme should do so willingly,and without expectations,rather selfish don't you think? Rather hits me like topping.

I have as well heard real used to mean a Domme that wants a 24/7 live in slave. This is one of the least likeliest scenarios to come true. I wish that males would take a serious look at what 24/7 entails. It can be like trying to swim with a concrete boot applied for a Domme. A male weighing you down with his wants,his needs,and his expenses 24/7...does not sound too appealing to me. To hear some speak,well it would not cost the Domme a thin dime to keep them,cause they can live in a cage outside,or a basement..hmm anyone that has ever had a pet knows that it is not free. Pets even basement gimps must be fed,watered(and no piss and shit are not enough to ensure health),and lands forbid that the gimp becomes ill! No matter what contract is signed,the Domme is still legally responsible. Does anyone in their right mind really think that if the authorities find out that someone has a human being living in their basement in a cage,that they will not be incarcerated,cause believe me they will. Society is not accepting of this type of behavior and circumstances already.

The last and final definition for real that I am going to touch on today,is a Domme is not real if she is not seeking a sub/slave husband,or bf scenario. Plenty of lifesyle Dommes do date and marry their servants,hell even some Pro's do as well,but this is not the rule for all Dommes. Many that I see already have a significant other in their lives,so unless they are going the polygamy route,I do not see how this is possible,not to mention that not all Dommes are attracted to submissive males,so....I guess these Dommes will fall into the pit of unrealness.

To top off this little piece of my thoughts,and observations,I am going to relay my thought on what is "real". To me real means taking responsibility for the health and well being of a sub/slave who serves you. A Domme who is safe and sane,who maintains control of herself,and how she treats those that serve her(yes even sadists can respect RACK).

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Second rate is a sacrilegious

How many of you gents have provided second rate service? I imagine quite a few. It is pretty much the standard for these days. I mean how hard is it to sit in front of a screen pledging to be all that your owner desires and requires,then in the next moment,log off of your pc and go about your everyday business never giving your owner a passing thought til it is time to log in once more? Pretty easy isn't it?

 Those that lack internal discipline possess an ideal of service such as a passing fancy,an itch that you get scratched with the attention you crave at the moment,then disregard it til it rears it's needy head once more. What may not cross your mind is how very disrespectful your behavior is. I realize that life has a way of taking over minds and matters,but for a genuine subgent,his owner occupies his mind always,even if it is not the forefront thought when at work,or with family. He does not allow himself to forget her when the screen goes blank. He devotes time,effort and thoughts towards how he can become a better servant for her,in other words he works hard for the honor he receives. He does not rest on his laurels(past tributes,or atta boy acts). Always he seeks to improve the service he offers.

I daily read complaint after complaint on boards,sites,even twitter about the lack of decent subgents,and do you know why that is,second rate service. Second rate service as well encompasses those that do not serve at all. I am referring to the gargantuan force of fetishists inhabiting the findom scene. Those that do not want to serve,but will play at it during a cam session,or to obtain whatever it is they seek for their cock high,whether it be photos,clips,or attention. How does one differentiate between a fetishist playing servant,and a second rate service provider...basically you do not,for the end results are generally the same...neither wishes to tribute(give a gift),but atleast for the Ladies that offer services,they are most likely to get paid something(although that is not technically defined as findom).

Unfortunately the lovely Ladies who claim the title of FinDomme in my opinion are force fed the greatest amount of crap above any other Domme. Not so surprising actually. 1)They are prone to hatred and backlash from the lifestyle community who believes them to be whores,gold diggers,and sugar babies(all named are declared lower than a scat lover). 2)I have even seen them bashed by Pro-Dommes(as in those that work in dungeons) 3)They are subject to verbal abuse by males whom have no means to support themselves,much less gift a Domme(this is why they are single and prone to misogynistic outbursts,I mean would you not be angry with women,if you could not even afford a fast food date..yet sadly their anger should be directed internally rather than seeking an external target). 4)There is as well, catfights and backstabbing towards other Ladies within the findom community,and that is pathetic. What could be an opportunity to band together in support from the outsiders who detest all that findom stands for,is instead skewed into a dog eat dog competition...younger Ladies bash older Ladies,older Ladies bash younger Ladies...and do not get me started on the egos,and insecurities that eclipse the worst electoral mudslinging I have ever witnessed.

Points being 1)You must have the thick hide of a rhino to survive the onslaught of insults you receive. 2)You must have the patience of a Saint to make it through the days where all you hear are lies from males pertaining to serving and tributing. 3)You must be savvy in whom you place your trust even when it comes to other FinDommes,for today's bff may be tomorrow's worst enemy when you snag a prospective servant that she desired as her own,or a tribute amount that raised her hackles. 4)You must be intelligent enough to quickly recognize every single timewaster ploy,else you spend hour after hour,day after day, dredging through useless missive after missive,and receiving no intake for your output.

At the end of the day,and after all of the trivial trials,second rate service seems like a blasphemous slap in the face...and that is seriously one thing that could be done without,so gents please have yourself in order when you ask to serve.

*disclaimer* I am in no way stating or inferring that ALL FinDomme Females act in the above mentioned manner,nor that the entirety of Pro-Dommes or Lifestyle Dommes do either,so please take no offense,where none is intended.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

No attention vs bad attention for the bois

Early In infancy we learn how to receive attention when we want or need something,so it only makes sense that this type of successfully proven behavior would carry over in adulthood,albeit somewhat altered in methodology I would hope,yet for some sadly it truly has not evolved that very far. As we mature chronologically it becomes understood that there are two types of attention,good and bad. Now bad attention generally carries undesirable consequences,whether they result in disciplinary measures or not,the point gets across quickly that bad=bad,therefore a reasoning being will deter from said actions in future.

Onto the positive. Rewards are a good thing,and who does not enjoy being praised for their behavior and accomplishments? It is a feeling that you can wrap around you on a cold winter's night. It is a basking of pleasure for a job well done,so why would one not work hard,and elect to act in accordance to receive the good? Whilst I may not be a masochist nor a humiliation junkie,I cannot comprehend how one would desire to receive poor treatment and despicable repercussions outside of play.

You may be asking,how in the heck does this apply to domination? Well,people are people,and they bring all of their hangups,and baggage with them,even into the online realm,in fact oddly enough many lack internal censorship when they get behind a monitor,which leads to many a problem. When you look at all of the femdom sites,feeds,posts,you will notice immediately a total lack of inhibitions,and no I am not judging it to bad or good,it just is. Where else though on the internet do you see folks putting up penis pic after penis pic? No where. If you think me incorrect,then why is it these same individuals are not posting such material on social media sites where their Mother,their Aunt,their Sister can see it...could it be that they feel free to do so only on bdsm sites because they recognize it as unacceptable behavior,but desire the attention anyway,regardless of whether it is good or bad? Can they be so very desperate for free sph humiliation(which gets piled on)? I think it so. Is it a good thing(it is for them),because receiving attention whether good or bad reinforces the mindset that they can do it and have their desires fulfilled freely. This is one of the reasons why I always say "do not feed the trolls".

Aside from needing an endless supply of eye bleach,another ill advised behavior in abundance is the "anyone here wanna humiliate,cam,degrade,rape my bank account?" Logically this type of inquiry denotes laziness plain and simple,so why then do we see such announcements flocked to and fed? It makes no sense. If a male stoops to advertising rather than working for the attention,then he will never learn how he should behave,which is not a positive. It presents a negative correlation=the more he acts in an intolerable manner,the more attention he receives,and that is what truly should be exiled,and avoided.

There seems to be an endless list of actions which should not be rewarded(and my fingers are cramping lol),instead should land them in the time out corner,and this is a duty of dominants to teach right from wrong when it comes to behaviors,else the scene becomes a circus,with the animals crapping everywhere,so each person should decide whether they want to enable odious actions or take a stand by saying "you will not shit where I eat!!".

Apologies if my opinions offend,but they are mine alone,and I stand by them.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Simply put,I am me

I am woman hear me roar. I have spent an inordinate amount of time pontificating what it is that sets me apart,and have drawn a blank,because basically we all share common qualities as women,yet subtle variations make us unique :) What I will say is that I am sweet and mild,I am cruel and wild,I am considerate and caring,I am polite and uncaring of what others think I should be. Simply put,I am me :)

I do not wear leather,and detest lace,latex makes me sweat,and I hate caking makeup on my face. I do not yell,nor will I scream,for I get my point across just being me. I abhor liars,and those that cheat,I give back in life,and think myself pretty neat. I enjoy crude humor,yet I act with class,and for those that do not like me,well I have a spot for you to kiss. Simply put,I am me :)

I am upfront,and say what I mean,and if it offends,well glory me you need a thicker skin. I am happy,and love my life,I smile at strangers,and hold doors for the elderly. I am fierce in my passions,and loyal to my friends. I am honest in my hatred for those that have earned it,and biting in my wit when my ire is raised. I am temperate,and difficult to anger. Simply put,I am me :)

I never give sessions,but I do play,and you will find me laughing at subgents dismay. I lock up their cocks,and call them my own,I accept their submission,and give it a home. I am casual in dress and demeanor,I am soft in tone,and intoxicate your senses like the finest of licour. I am sassy and bold,and wonderfully reflective upon this world I live in. I am introverted,yet uninhibited around a close knit group. Simply put,I am me :)

For those of you gents that approach me each day,I will not give you my trust in a moment,an hour,or single day. You will work hard to make me proud. You will sacrifice,and cry aloud,for I am your Goddess,and what does that mean,simply put, I am me :)

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Spoiled Femdom Goddess

I send many gents and gimps here to my blog,in fact it is one of the first requirements to applying for service with me. It is also one of the biggest deterrents for males. They see the title of my blog,and the occasional tribute porn I post,and immediately head for the nearest mound of sand to stick their head in,hoping that I will pass on by,which amuses me,for I do not chase,EVER. A gent either serves willingly or not at all. I do not beg,coerce or bludgeon them into it(that lacks dignity and class).

Findom is apparently the foulest fetish word for so many. Immediately I am labeled a jobless scamming beggar,and that is the farthest thing in reality in regards to me. I actually do not mind educating those with an open mind to the subject,but ingrained hated is tiring,and I feel makes explanations moot. The best course in that circumstance is to kill with kindness and move along.

To those whose mind is not closed,I relay that Findom is the highest form of service,for it is a life altering power exchange. Imagine your life honed down to the bare essentials financially..frightening isn't it? Of course it is,for money has the power to enrich your circumstances,to elevate you socially,to provide a life of ease. Gents work hard for their paycheck. They sacrifice hours of sleep,and control of situations,even going to the extent of kissing proverbial ass to keep the cash flowing into their coffers,so why would they not value it?

In service to me,gents are required to place me in a position of priority in their lives. I am to be elevated above themselves(wants and needs). I am to be valued beyond the cost of the bottom line. Too many of you have gotten caught up in the mindset that "your submission is your gift" and that does not cut it with me. Your submission is your obligation as a submissive male to offer. The offering of your flesh under my whip,paddle,or flogger is not the gift. It is your sacrifice which is the gift. Your willingness to lay at my feet the supreme tithe of power(tribute).

Tribute is not a tit for tat. It is not about an exchange or a payment for feeding your fetishes. It is the highest honor,and display of appreciation for me,and if you do not appreciate me,then what is the point. Males offering their flesh up number in the thousands,but those who understand and embrace true sacrifice are counted in the few,and it is those gents whom hold my attention,so for you few,I leave the light on.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Not missing you at all

That was a great song yes? Anyways this is not a post about missing someone in the sense the song plays to though. The missing I am going to speak out about,is in reference to availability and diligent efforts towards communicating in a timely manner.

We all know that developing any type of relationship be it vanilla or kink takes some time,and that can be impeded if one party is not available when the other is. This tends to happen when two time zones collide in a rub of friction :p so to speak. I have lost sleep being around for gents,and no I am not complaining,just stating that I make time for those that are worthy,and expect no less from those seeking to become my own.

Now in the onset of interactions it is supremely important especially for you gents,to respond promptly to missives,and consistently apply this,else you are going to run into issues immediately. Allowing days to lapse in between correspondence is going to lead a Domme to assume that you are lazy(or just not that into her),and not worth her time. Now if the problem stems from differing hours,do be a good pet and explain this to your prospective Lady,for most are quite understanding,and will work some type of schedule out,but you cannot remain mum and expect her to read your mind(sorry,we do not all have those super powers yet).

If indeed it is that you are not really into her,and fear having her go ballistic on you about it,well you are going to have to strap on those big boy panties,and politely relay that you do not believe the two of you to be a good match(do not,I repeat do not just go silent,block her,or delete your account on a site to avoid her),and yes this can be done in a well mannered way. There is absolutely no need to insult her on top of it,capiche? Never burn your bridges to ash,for you do not know what the future holds,and it may turn out her bff is the one Lady you crave to serve above all others,see what I am saying?

We are all adults here,and comprehend that things come up in life that cannot be avoided,and may even take you out of the scene for awhile,but it only takes a moment to dash off a note telling a Lady that you will be out of reach for an undetermined amount of time,so please remember your manners gents,for it is likely that you yourself would not care to be left wondering what the hell happened to the Lady you were speaking to. After all,it is plainly pathetic to think that it just may be you playing this sappy song wishing that you weren't missing her because you lacked decency.