Thursday, February 26, 2015

Unselfish Service

For the males that take the time to read the posts made by myself and several fellow ladies,I have no doubt that you have seen mention of the term "selfless service",but for those that do not..you are missing the point behind service,so I thought it best to educate submissives as to what the words actually mean,and how they are so very difficult,almost near impossible to find when describing the majority of males in the scene this day.

Let's first take a look at the words separately,selfless per webster's definition "Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish.". Now onto the definition of service which pertains best to D's "The performance of work or duties for a superior or as a servant." When we combine the words it equates to unselfish duties for a superior. I think somewhere along the way the seed of selfishness has taken root into the minds of males entering the bdsm scene,and this is what I hope to eradicate.

Selfless service is not enacted when a servant seeks only a means to their personal ends,how could it? To become selfless one must expunge the sentiments "I want" from their vocabulary when serving. It must become engrained within the psyche that the wants of the servant are not a primary motivator. I am not saying that a submissive should not enjoy serving,or that they should not take pride in the honor of it,but it should not be why they do it. The happiness and contentment of doing for your superiors should be based on their pleasure,rather than your own. The mindset should be "I serve because it pleases her,and that is what pleases me" Does this make sense? It does not sound fair does it? Well to be clearly upfront,it is not fair nor does it promote equality,and it never will. Being in service does not place you in the same bracket as your dominant:meaning that it is your dominant's will,drives,and desires which are in the forefront,and if it just so happens that your wants are fulfilled by them matching hers,then you are indeed fortunate,and have chosen well.

In conclusion,or if ever in doubt,just remember that the word "you" is not a part of the word selfless.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Pot calling kettle

Ever heard that saying about the pot calling the kettle black? I heard it all the time growing up,and think it to myself everyday,how so many do exactly this. If you are like me,then you have been told on multiple occasions that FinDommes are just lazy bitches who need to get a job,and stop leeching off people. The irony of it being that this vile brew spills from the lips of those contacting me in the hopes of a freebie. The same ones whom flip out on me because they were too lazy to read my profile which states that financial tribute is required. The funniest part being that these males are also within a group of individuals that cannot even support themselves,much less feed my fetish...little sots working minimum wage jobs,dwelling in Mommy and Daddy's basement. They shroud themselves in a bubble of superiority that they do not have to scam people out of money,yet fail to recognize that by living off their parents,they are in essence a leech themselves.

I laugh to myself each time that I find comments such as I named souring in my inbox. Why...well it could be due to the fact that I entered nursing school at 18,and after having graduated and passing my boards,that I have been working,and clearing a high wage every since. I left home as soon as I got my first job(no sucking the hind tit for me)...and now my home and vehicle are paid off,so my money is for whatever I desire...hell I could be a sugar momma if I wanted to lol. I worked hard to get where I am,and yes I am arrogant,but believe me when I say that I have earned the right to be so.

Now do you see why I find the irony of the verbal abuse humorous? Ye who of no money,a pathetic job(if one could call it that),and little to no future and a barren existence,tossing out insults which in reality reflect your life,not mine. That is ironically funny :)

I do not even take the time to be offended by the insults,for life must truly be sad when you are broke and begging Mommy for movie money...perhaps it would be best if males like these took stock of their situation,and realize that a great many of the Ladies in the findom lifestyle are indeed well off financially,and in no need of their milk money. Of course there are some that are in dire straights,and actually do NEED the cash,but hopefully they are not the majority,else it is not them ruling,but them being ruled. There can be no pride if you are being ruled by a snot nosed brat,and if the money is necessary for your livelihood,then yes they have you by the balls figuratively speaking,and that is a bad situation to be in.

I encourage each and every Lady to get an education,better yourself intellectually and financially,so that you will not be forced into depending on males to pay your bills,cause the truth of the matter is,you cannot pin your hopes on males that bounce like a ball when they see a shiny new toy,so you gotta do what you have to do to take care of you!

Monday, February 9, 2015

Can the rhetoric verbiage

As the title of this post implies, please do can all of the rhetorical verbiage some of you seem intent upon relaying. Alas many of you do not know that which I refer to, but I am here to show you the light.

When you are approaching a dominant Woman for the first time, why is it that a great many of you feel the need to spread the compliments like halloween candy? Has someone led you to believe that Ladies such as myself suffer from self-esteem issues, or that we are transformed into a puddle of mush upon hearing how lovely you find us, as if we did not know our own worth. One of the most beautiful qualities which a dominant Lady should possess is a sense of pride within herself. She knows that she is a breathing work of art in form and face, and that her mind is her greatest gift. Therefore when you contact her commenting on how gorgeous she is, you are definitely not telling her something that she has not heard over and over, and that slots you in with the nyquil crowd...you know, the ones whom put you to sleep.

This means that you are going to have to put some thought into what you say, rather than going the easy generic route. In most cases a small initial tribute is going to garner you a degree of notice way faster than sending a message which reads "hey beautiful",or "you are sexy",and let's be honest here, if you cannot afford to offer what I would deem a trivial tribute, then you truly should not be here, but on the other hand, breaking the bank is not going to get you any further if you do not have the intellect to hold up your end of a conversation.

As to what I mean by a "conversation"...a strictly vanilla one is what I am referencing. I myself do not care to sit around all day typing back and forth about kink...nope just not wired that way. It would bore me to tears in no time. If your interest is focused purely on the subjects which get you off, then are you really serving me? I do not think so, and that just is not submission in my book, which is what you are supposed to be offering yes??

One of the most original things you can do to keep the attention of a female, is be honest. Be truthful about who and what you are, then relay that in a manner a normal human being would comprehend. Be willing to share your interests outside of bdsm. Be open to communicating in a non-sexual context (after all this is not a bar, and one liners just won't cut it). Be able to treat the women you contact with respect, not like a piece of meat, or inanimate object. Think of reaching out as you would like that as if on a speed date (except recognize that no way in hell are getting any nookie) ,meaning that you should convey details pertaining to yourself in the same way that you would if you were sitting at a table looking the Lady in the eye when you are stone cold sober.

Take my advice gents...get original, or get tossed to into the ditches of deletion :)

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Is there meaning

One of the things I am forced to ask myself with some regularity,is if there is meaning in the search. I have no doubt that some of you have posed the same question. You log onto sites day in day out,dealing with all manners of idiocy(outright lies,vaguely disguised exaggerations,stringent demands,disrespectful dialogue etc..),and it seriously makes one wonder if the time invested is worth the headaches produced.

I have never been one to sugarcoat what must be said,nor do I skirt along the edges of mundane truth. One thing I have learned since joining the online fetish scene is that the disappointments will outweigh the highs. For every 1 male that knows what it is to be selflessly submissive to a female,there are approximately 100 that do not,nor care. The odds are not good,and if findom were a game that a booky took bets on,then I would deter from laying a wager on an enriching outcome. This is not me being a downer,this is a voice of realistic reasoning speaking out against the fantasies which are preferable to reality. Yes it is possible to connect with decent,worthwhile submissives,and of course they are the rays of sunshine within the dreary drought we all trek through,but they are not the norm of what you will deal with is what I am saying,so if you come into this with the expectation that you are going to be besieged by infinite numbers of paying males,then you will be sorely let down.

Findom is one of the most if not the most difficult fetishes to find completion in. In the bdsm scene outside of findom,the number of subs vs Dommes rises exponentially thereby ensuring greater odds of success in locating a servant,but here within this niche the numbers are reversed,and this leads to less than pleasing results if you are a Domme. What you will not find is males begging to serve you,least not financially,and unfortunately it attracts some of the worst sort of types.

It makes no sense why anyone would join,chase,or engage in interactions with someone that does not meet the criteria you seek,yet this is exactly what I see. Lack of education is acceptable,because brains can be taught,but the disrespect is a bit more difficult to swallow,rather like a bitter pill with no water to wash it down.

One point I wanted to look at is why this is happening. Could it possibly be that males are drawn to this fetish due to so many females engaging in it more than ever? Another reason may be that males with no understanding of findom come knocking in the hopes that they can cajole or shame Ladies into forgoing the financial aspect,thereby making a more concerted effort into the single domination realm. One other thing I see is males with no prospects of paying,insinuating themselves or attempting to,as a friend. I am going to assume that they reckon they can siphon off some on the side domination this way. Regardless of why it occurs,it is disagreeable. Answer me this,Ladies did you come here to make male friends,or conquests? Did you put in your time here to secure male allies,or to garner long term servants? I am not saying that you cannot be friendly with whomever you choose,but look at it this way,if you are spending your time upon those that do not financially adore and spoil you,then what dividends are you getting in return for your investment?

What can be done about this trend? To begin with,the change must come from the Dommes. Nothing will ever alter without the strong leading the weak. Clean your house daily,and by that I mean,never allow the rubbish in to begin with. If a male without doubt has no interest in being financially dominated,why give him a single breath from your body,unless you are not here to financially dominate,then by all means let me ask you this,why are you in the findom scene? This can be a cruelly cold niche to an outsider that is true,but I have found it a welcome haven for those that sincerely dedicate themselves to it.

Being a FinDomme is not a title sans responsibility though. In the beginning one may think "oh I don't have to worry about making the scene a better place for all",but that is erroneous. Leading means taking the lead role. It is a type of duty where you point the inexperienced in the correct direction,and the pretenders into the shitter. It is a lifestyle,not a game. I am not saying that it is not meant to be fun,but all fun and games it is not. Just as in life,sometimes,and some predicaments need to be taken seriously,otherwise is there truly meaning in the search?

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Good pets provide sans expectations...in other words none of this bullshit about spoiling back for being spoiled.

This from a pet that wants nothing other than to make me happy...do you boys see the type of service you should be striving to provide?? Hope so if you intend to be anything other than gator bait to me.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

No need for free chat



This post may conflict with the opinions and approaches of some,but diversity makes us beautifully unique :)

The debate has always been ongoing whether or not a male should tribute prior to speaking with a Domme,and for me I would respond with a resounding YES. Now I can hear some of you boys groaning,"but oh I need to get to know you,to see if we have a connection",and I am calling BS.

Here is the thing. Serving a Domme is hard ass work from the get go,which means that you need to bring your A game. Before you ever think of approaching a Domme,you NEED to do some legwork.

***Read,read,read.*** Why do you think any Lady takes her precious time to compose a lucid and personally insightful profile? She is being kind enough to provide you with valuable instructions as to how she expects to be served,as well as relevant data such as her likes and dislikes. This information is the basis of how you should be forming your resolution of whether to kneel before her. I mean if she has stated that she does not care for sph,and that is your favored fetish,or even the very reason you are seeking a Domme,then surely you are intelligent enough to realize that she is not the one for you right???? It doesn't matter how ripe the fruit is,or how sweet it's juices are if it is not the type of fruit you are craving,make sense? The surest way to get "ripped" off is by judging a book by it's cover don't ya know? Peruse the contents over and over.

Here is the number one problem with profiles though. You boys are not reading them. Oh you say you are,but truly you aren't. Everyone knows that males are visual,so even when you do take a gander at a profile,your eyes comprehend nothing beyond the pretty pecker pulsing pictures. Ya ya ya not 100% of you are wired that way,but it is pretty damn close,so you are not learning anything about the femme in particular other then her body gives you a stiffy,and that is not going to be enough to form a lasting connection.

Answer me this boys,if there were absolutely no pictures on a profile,would you even click on it? Sometimes I wonder if any of you are literate at all...and fear that our educational system left you behind.

If you actually have a brain,use it. Use it to recognize that you are going to have to put forth some effort. It will be worth it in the long run. Once you are able and willing to sit down and read every single word on a profile,then you can make an informed decision about a possible connection. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out if you have things in common with a Lady (fetish wise),so when you do locate one that meets with what you seek,then have your tribute prepared,and sent before you take up her time.

You may say,"well what if she does not accept me,or I did not like what she had to say,and then I am out my money",well you did not lose anything. All you did was display that you are a gentleman whom appreciates the value of a Lady's time,and she will remember that,and you with a smile,which may come in handy someday when other Ladies are asking about you.

The entire point being that before you type out an initial greeting to  Domme,you should already know all about her,and if you want to serve her,so there is no reason not to have your tribute sent,well not unless you are one of those piss poor broke creatures,and in that case,do the fin fetish scene a favor,and go away...go very far away.......farther and farther til you cannot see the findom sparkly lights anymore,then keep on trucking :)