Handfasting

Handfasting is a term employed to describe a matrimonial ceremony..but for this moment in time I am using it in place of hand holding,because to be honest,a long term D's relationship is comparable to a vanilla marriage. With your D's partner(for my post,partner is not interchangeable with the term spouse) you share more of yourself(those secrets you hide from the ordinary world)than you would within the usual type of matrimonial relationship. It is my opinion that a D's bond is more profound and enduring than the words upon a piece of legal paper. It is forged with honesty,and shared desires(nope not alluding to carnal ones)rather I am speaking as to the shared desire for the happiness of one's dominant. Sharing the "darkest" aspects of yourself with another being requires trust which lacks in many relationships outside of the fetish realm. Let's be frank,not many ordinary folks are going to get that a servant wants and needs to subjugate themselves to another human being,outside of a family member,so this is something which is hidden from public consumption.

I am digressing a bit :) the object lesson I intend to convey is that while it is expected for the submissive to look to their dominant to lead them,to ensure that they remain along the desired path...it is not and should not be the expectation for a submissive to depend upon a dominant to hold their hand constantly in the proverbial nor physical sense. A submissive is not a doormat,and should have enough common sense to live their life if necessary sans constant dictation. When one cannot depend upon themselves to make a single solitary decision in their life without express consent,than they in essence have become a mere robot,a tool to the will of any and all who hold stronger opinion,and whilst this may be expected within a TPE,it brings to my mind the definition of a slave,not a submissive. For some reason unknown to me,well perhaps it is known to me lol...many are interchanging the two descriptors. A submissive is not a slave,and a slave is submissive,but not a submissive. Does that make sense?

If you my readers will recall,I have harped upon many occasions about the need for a male to work hard for the one they serve. It regards to that statement I have seen males putting forth that dominants should work just as hard for their servant. Well,I do agree that a dominant should indeed put forth effort in training those beneath them,but I do not agree that dominants must work just as hard and diligently as their submissives or slaves. It is the duty of a servant to serve. They are to serve and sate the wants and needs of the one who holds their leash(figuratively or in actuality). It is the dominants responsibility to relay their desires to the servant yes,but once told,it should not require repetitive announcements,nor for force of compliance to be applied. If a servant "must" be forced,than one must question whether the servant truly wishes to serve,or if they are instead playing at having their own personal wants satisfied. This is why I am not into forced activity of any kind,and yes that includes tributing. If I were operating under the expectation that I should hold the whip in hand whilst walking a servant through each and every act of service,than I seriously do not wish to undertake such a journey. Servants that are able to make logical choices upon their own,which enhance the quality of my life,are treasures,whilst those that demand from me a constant presence to accomplish the smallest of details,are a burden. Sorry not sorry,but that is my way of thinking.

I simply do not want to expend my energy directing 24/7 of a servants life. A servant is an extension of their owner,but they should not be an energy leech. Holding one's hand continuously is droll and truthfully it is more effort than a dominant should have to exert once expectations and requirements have been shared. If one cannot exist in daily life without a dominant hand spelling out each and every move,than are they really living?

Basically it boils down to this,Do not expect your dominant to hold your hand through each decision you ever make. That is placing way too much responsibility upon them. Instead let their wishes,and way of thinking lead the way. For example if you know that your dominant would never condone lying,do not tell lies. If your dominant has told you that they like you to speak a certain way,or behave in a specific manner,than make sure you are compliant at all times. No need to ask,for her words should be on playback within your mind,and that gents, is your beacon. Always take note of what she likes,and what she dislikes,this way you will not have to drain her patience or tolerance for stupidity,and for fucks sake bois,do NOT ask,can I tribute? Just do it(unless your dominant requires that you beg first :)