The shame game

One of the things Ladies will find running rampant in the fetish scene is the shame game. The shame game consists of tried and true techniques employed to shame you into providing for the wants of the one playing you. You should ask yourself these two questions when you take note of the game one is playing. Are you an instrument? Do you want to be played?

How to recognize the game,oh and I care not to hear the insipid dialogue regarding not all males do this, since I am generalizing here.

"I have been burned in the past, so I want to take the time to see if we connect before I tribute". Egads why is this line still gaining traction?? This is a clear cut attempt to use women for free gratification. If someone really wanted to get to know you, they would be all over your social media sites feeling you out, and not come to you til after they have been able to gauge whether they are a good fit for your domination style. They would then come into your inbox with tribute already sent. That is what a decent male does.

"If you really loved dominating males, you would do it for free". Wow gotta love the logic in that statement. Of course we have all heard the saying "do a job you love, never work a day in your life", but even that saying would not ring true if there were no tangible benefits to performing said job. The saddest part of this ploy is that you will see even lifestyle Dominas spouting it. Yet I ask you this, how would those same lifestyle women react if said male never once purchased them a gift, and expected said woman to supply all of the equipment used to dominate them? Would they then feel the same? I highly doubt it. The males who engage in this tactic are relaying distinctly that they have zero appreciation for a woman's time and effort. They are selfish slug entitled misogynists, so wrapped up in themselves that they could not care less about anything that does not pertain to their wants.

"Only whores charge for sexwork"..and yes FinDom is considered sexwork. This attempt is set to make you feel degraded due to the negative connotations surrounding the word whore. Many males denote a whore as the lowest form of being, therefore they toss this out to shame you into doing what you do for free, atleast with them. If the word did not have such negativity associated with it, than this ploy would fizzle out. I say Fuck that! You decide the value of your time, and the worth of your association, not some shithead male. Own that your time is precious, and should not be wasted upon anyone that does not value it! Make them pay for everything they receive from you, regardless if it is conversation, cam time, tasks, clips etc...

"I just want to be your friend" Now this one is really a trickster. You should feel bad for even considering charging a male who just wants to be your friend! He just wants to be there for you, and listen to your problems with tributing males. Oh yes tell him all about your sessions, about how you dominate males. There is no way that he is leeching off of your experiences with his dick in hand, ya right. Seriously here, the males who come to you claiming that they want to be your friend are the worst possible friend you could take on. They are out to use you, and that is NOT ok. They are simply taking up space and time that could be spent with someone who will benefit your life in a lasting manner, so kick that user to the curb before he hooks claws into you.

"You are too (old,fat,ugly,stupid) to be a FinDomme" This type is a real piece of work. Their intent is to absolutely demoralize you into getting their way. They hit hard at the most sensitive spots for most women. Unless you possess a super thick impenetrable skin shell, than these insults are going to sting, especially if you are receiving them on the daily. These tactics are meant to break you down, to make you feel undesirable, and unwanted, therefore you will be appreciative when any male wants to spend time with you. This is all BS! Do not, I repeat, do not fall for this. Knowing your worth is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. Love yourself, preconceived flaws and all. Recognize that you are more than what is visible to the human eye, and never allow any male to shake the confidence you have in yourself, cause anyone that does not value you for you, is not worth a single thought!

"Such and such only charges X " Ya we have all heard this one. This one is called the haggler. He wants to shame you into devaluing your time. Most times Mistress X does not even exist, and even if she did, it is not your place to lower your standards just because someone else does not see their true worth. Stand strong, and advise this type to run back to  Mistress X than.

And that folks is all I have time for today..yup I gotta life to get back to, and bois begging to better it with financial sacrifice :)

gift pics

Gifts from my brat this week are rolling in. Female entitlement lives,breathe,and reigns under the divine heels of Mz Sydney!! What have you done to shower me with the spoils of your submission today???

The only way to provide a positive first impression is to prove that you are capable of selfless service!

Findom/Femdom

MY world revolves around MY happiness,just as yours should. I am the center of MY own universe,and yours(that is if you are blessed to be serving me). I am a take no shit Goddess,which means all of the petty little games you played with others is not going to go down with ME.

I know exactly what I want,and it is your place to provide ME with those things. The cost of your suffering is negligent,for your suffering pleases ME most.

For too long now you have been like a leech living vicariously off the efforts of others who serve ME. You have wasted time admiring the gifts MY gents gave freely for MY pleasure. Pulling that chump stump imagining how wonderful it would be to serve a living Goddess such as myself. Goddess tires of you,and your selfish ways.

The road to redemption does not lay in your tighty whiteys. Your absolution can only be found in selfless giving to Goddess. That means that you will go without so that I can have. That you will find your pleasure in the joy of providing for MY wants. Sex means nothing,and orgasms even less,for the definition of nirvana is now defined as hearing ME say "Good boy".

Every hour you spend toiling at your job,now has meaning,because that job and paycheck enable you to provide for MY greed. Those 40 + hours a week are steps to your salvation. Only through sacrificing for ME shall you be made new. Made new into the perfect gent for Goddess.

No longer shall you ignore MY wishes or whims. When I make known MY desires,you shall be the first to tribute. You will give and give and give. You will not whine and cry. You will not ask for rewards. You will accept your purpose in life gracefully,and embrace it fully. No more cowardly skunking away to your hole. Step up,and kneel down at my Femdom feet with your offering already sent.

No messages will earn MY attention if they are devoid of a gift card,NOW get to it!

Reading saves time

Reading is a fundamental requirement in life,and only those whom I deign lazy would attempt to get out from doing so. Why is reading so very important you ask,well I am pleased that you asked gents! Reading and by reading I mean research,is the way to making sure that your approach will be well received.

Example:You are a self serving slug who only thinks to his next jerk off session...well whoopty freaking doo dah barking up my tree,cause I do not care about your dick or the ooze that seeps from it,so you have wasted your time and mine contacting me. Self servers should keep the contact list cleared of any who are not contained to service providers. You want a service,than you reach out to those that provide a service PERIOD.

Example:You are a toilet serving slave. Why would you initiate conversation with a Domme who lists toilet training as a hard limit? Wastes time yes?

Example:You are a selfish twat who feels entitled to a woman's time and energy simply because you possess a pecker. In what alternate universe would it be justified for you to try to get into the inbox of a woman who values herself,and expects to be spoiled and served financially in appreciation for the attention which she doles out?

Example:You want to be a 24/7 indwelling locked in a cage slave. Do you hit up a woman who states that she does not want a 24/7 indwelling slave,with the delusion that you are a magical snowflake whom all yearn to own?

Are you guys getting my point? No one enjoys having their time wasted,and if you are not reading profiles,than you are doing exactly that. What joy comes from irretrievable senseless losses of time? None!!

The most prudent route to success is to employ the use of the big head,for the smaller one just fucks off and around.

Handfasting

Handfasting is a term employed to describe a matrimonial ceremony..but for this moment in time I am using it in place of hand holding,because to be honest,a long term D's relationship is comparable to a vanilla marriage. With your D's partner(for my post,partner is not interchangeable with the term spouse) you share more of yourself(those secrets you hide from the ordinary world)than you would within the usual type of matrimonial relationship. It is my opinion that a D's bond is more profound and enduring than the words upon a piece of legal paper. It is forged with honesty,and shared desires(nope not alluding to carnal ones)rather I am speaking as to the shared desire for the happiness of one's dominant. Sharing the "darkest" aspects of yourself with another being requires trust which lacks in many relationships outside of the fetish realm. Let's be frank,not many ordinary folks are going to get that a servant wants and needs to subjugate themselves to another human being,outside of a family member,so this is something which is hidden from public consumption.

I am digressing a bit :) the object lesson I intend to convey is that while it is expected for the submissive to look to their dominant to lead them,to ensure that they remain along the desired path...it is not and should not be the expectation for a submissive to depend upon a dominant to hold their hand constantly in the proverbial nor physical sense. A submissive is not a doormat,and should have enough common sense to live their life if necessary sans constant dictation. When one cannot depend upon themselves to make a single solitary decision in their life without express consent,than they in essence have become a mere robot,a tool to the will of any and all who hold stronger opinion,and whilst this may be expected within a TPE,it brings to my mind the definition of a slave,not a submissive. For some reason unknown to me,well perhaps it is known to me lol...many are interchanging the two descriptors. A submissive is not a slave,and a slave is submissive,but not a submissive. Does that make sense?

If you my readers will recall,I have harped upon many occasions about the need for a male to work hard for the one they serve. It regards to that statement I have seen males putting forth that dominants should work just as hard for their servant. Well,I do agree that a dominant should indeed put forth effort in training those beneath them,but I do not agree that dominants must work just as hard and diligently as their submissives or slaves. It is the duty of a servant to serve. They are to serve and sate the wants and needs of the one who holds their leash(figuratively or in actuality). It is the dominants responsibility to relay their desires to the servant yes,but once told,it should not require repetitive announcements,nor for force of compliance to be applied. If a servant "must" be forced,than one must question whether the servant truly wishes to serve,or if they are instead playing at having their own personal wants satisfied. This is why I am not into forced activity of any kind,and yes that includes tributing. If I were operating under the expectation that I should hold the whip in hand whilst walking a servant through each and every act of service,than I seriously do not wish to undertake such a journey. Servants that are able to make logical choices upon their own,which enhance the quality of my life,are treasures,whilst those that demand from me a constant presence to accomplish the smallest of details,are a burden. Sorry not sorry,but that is my way of thinking.

I simply do not want to expend my energy directing 24/7 of a servants life. A servant is an extension of their owner,but they should not be an energy leech. Holding one's hand continuously is droll and truthfully it is more effort than a dominant should have to exert once expectations and requirements have been shared. If one cannot exist in daily life without a dominant hand spelling out each and every move,than are they really living?

Basically it boils down to this,Do not expect your dominant to hold your hand through each decision you ever make. That is placing way too much responsibility upon them. Instead let their wishes,and way of thinking lead the way. For example if you know that your dominant would never condone lying,do not tell lies. If your dominant has told you that they like you to speak a certain way,or behave in a specific manner,than make sure you are compliant at all times. No need to ask,for her words should be on playback within your mind,and that gents, is your beacon. Always take note of what she likes,and what she dislikes,this way you will not have to drain her patience or tolerance for stupidity,and for fucks sake bois,do NOT ask,can I tribute? Just do it(unless your dominant requires that you beg first :)

Not all change is good

There has been alot of discussion and disagreements in the last couple of months after a piece was posted by Dr Sue in regards to the subject of findom being dead. In fact I entered a comment myself upon her post,and read those that came upon it before me.

General consensus was divided as to the validity of the statement,but one thing that cannot be argued is that findom has changed greatly since the initial onset onto the scene. In the beginning findom was based upon submissives tributing Dommes without any expectations. No strings gifts. Submissives gave because they wanted to enrich the lives of those they gifted. They took their pleasure in pleasing. They realized that to give financially is the greatest of power exchanges,and relished in their ability to sacrifice for another. Findom at it's core was a beautiful submission.

One simple truth is that money=power,which is especially accurate in this day and age. Money is needed to live. Let's face it,shoving objects up your ass or flashing a dick pic is not going to be accepted as a form of currency,now is it? Can you pay your electric bill with bartering? Of course not,and none of those actions enhances the life of a woman like cash.

When did the evolution begin? Perhaps when cam sites took off,or the net became deluged with clip sales sites..no idea,but change it has,and while most will say that change is for the better,I would ask,is it really? What was once an exercise in worship of women has now become a meat market where the buyers dollar gets them a selection from the menu. It used to be that submissives would work hard for the privilege of being in the presence of a Domme,but instead now what I see is a river of males suffering from grandiose entitlement delusions. Are they honestly based upon delusions though,hell no. You can find plenty of females selling shows,items,sessions,or even sex for rock bottom prices. Is this findom though? You tell me,does it sound like what I described up above?

Will findom ever return to what it once was,fuck no! Do I wish that it would,absolutely! I detest dealing with little shits who assume that their bag of pennies can buy them my attention. I would not,and will not sacrifice my dignity to become a puppet on a string for the price of a happy meal. Dommes are not bought with tribute.

Truth is that findom has become a service environment,where males pay for what they want,just like burger king. You want to watch a female finger her fuckhole,well step right up bois and pay your dollar,or maybe you want a female to watch you pull your pud,okies all you gotta do is slip a fiver in the slot. Yup all those activities are possible,BUT only if you are hitting up accommodating females. Is this findom though? Not by the definition it began as. These days findom has became an umbrella term that apparently covers any activity where money exchanges hands.

Lemme tell ya folks,that is not the findom I engage in. Most likely that is also the reason why my inbox doesn't overflow day in day out. I am old school,and I believe in submissives submitting in the manner I choose. This does not include me watching you jack off,or "talking" males through a jack off session. My time with gents is filled with my wants being met. I truly do not care if it sounds selfish to some of you. I believe in being served,and that one cannot serve 2 Mistress's at a time(it is either ME or your dick). I will not waste my time on any male who thinks with his pecker. My happiness is not derived from your penis,nor what you insert into your ass. Making me happy is a long term commitment,not an itch quickly scratched.

In conclusion,the gist of what I am conveying,is that tribute is a gift(don't ask what you get in return),and that I am always going to require that males serve me selflessly,regardless of how much the scene changes,my expectations and requirements will not.

Petulance is a pestilence

Okies gents take a seat!

Some of you may not know,but I am rarely logged into skype(not my preferred method of communication)...but when I do announce that I am on,many of you make me regret the decision,which in turn leads me to log on less and less.

When I state that I am on skype,this is not an invitation to try to call me,or send me dick pics,nor to whine and beg for a session(I do not so sessions). The calling me thing annoys me,the dick pics bore me,and the begging for a session just plain out pisses me off(nope that action won't get you a free go at degradation or blasting from me either..I know how to employ the block feature quite well).

Making myself available in such a manner is an honor for those allowed into my presence,not an opportunity for you to wank spank while you one handedly type out your perverse fantasies to me. I do not play that game,and honestly I am unsure of why males even bother trying that tactic with me,seeing as I am not known for tolerating BS.

I have always been upfront about my expectations of behavior from males contacting me. Manners are not antiquated,they are a requisite if you want to serve me.

What I am saying,is that if you are popping up into my box,then be a gentleman,which means bring a gift(just like you should if you are showing up on a Lady's doorstep)and your A+ behavior. Ask politely if you may speak with me,and do not attempt to add me without my express consent. Wait for me to respond to your message before you type out anything once more. Do not post up "are you there Goddess". I will get to you in my time,not on your schedule,and if you have not sent a tribute,than odds are that I will not react to your message at all,so keep that in mind.

I realize that in the findom realm males have become quite spoiled in attention and courted as if they are the prize at the bottom of a cracker jack box,but that is not how I work. I am not present in order to fulfill your fantasies,nor do I care if you are a member of the bilderberg group,cause money does not rule my actions,nor reactions. I take bdsm seriously,and if you are just looking for some fun,or a JOI session,you are barking up the wrong tree.

If however you are one of the ever dwindling few who actually seek more than a jerk off session,approach correctly,and you may have a chance at fulfilling a submissives destiny.