How many times have you used or seen used the term "Real Domme"? Once,twice,a hundred times(my hand is blowing in the wind). Real real real,true,true,true..used interchangeably,yet not really the sane.
What do people mean when they use the term though? Do they mean real as in alive and breathing? Do they mean real as in genetically born female? Do they mean a Domme that has 20 years experience under her belt? Do they mean a Domme who works in a dungeon,and handles a whip better than a roman soldier? It is a study in confusion at times to know exactly what someone means by "real".
Real is a term that is defined by each individual,but...most often when I see it on the fetish sites listed on a male's profile(and yes I have even asked the poster what their definition is)it is most generally a reference to a Domme that does not expect tribute. It is reasoned that to be a real or true Domme,then the "gift" of a male's submission should suffice as a tribute. My query to the poster at that time is "why does a Domme expecting to be appreciated,worshiped and adored financially make her any less real"? The responses do vary,but the overwhelming and most common being that Dommes who expect tribute are whores. This explanation never fails to astound me,because when I seek out the dictionary for the definition of the word whore,I fail to see any reference that does not include sexual relations,and I am not personally acquainted with any Domme who requires tribute,that will engage in intercourse for payment with those that serve them,so that insult does not fit properly...yet such ignorance and close mindedness continues to forge on regardless.
What else constitutes a real Domme in the minds of males? Cam verification of course. Dommes are expected to flip on their cams and prove that they are female,now unless I am mistaken,you are not going to get proof of that without dna or a cooch flash. Now which one of these options are most likely to occur? The biggest kicker in the entire equation is that the real Domme should do so willingly,and without expectations,rather selfish don't you think? Rather hits me like topping.
I have as well heard real used to mean a Domme that wants a 24/7 live in slave. This is one of the least likeliest scenarios to come true. I wish that males would take a serious look at what 24/7 entails. It can be like trying to swim with a concrete boot applied for a Domme. A male weighing you down with his wants,his needs,and his expenses 24/7...does not sound too appealing to me. To hear some speak,well it would not cost the Domme a thin dime to keep them,cause they can live in a cage outside,or a basement..hmm anyone that has ever had a pet knows that it is not free. Pets even basement gimps must be fed,watered(and no piss and shit are not enough to ensure health),and lands forbid that the gimp becomes ill! No matter what contract is signed,the Domme is still legally responsible. Does anyone in their right mind really think that if the authorities find out that someone has a human being living in their basement in a cage,that they will not be incarcerated,cause believe me they will. Society is not accepting of this type of behavior and circumstances already.
The last and final definition for real that I am going to touch on today,is a Domme is not real if she is not seeking a sub/slave husband,or bf scenario. Plenty of lifesyle Dommes do date and marry their servants,hell even some Pro's do as well,but this is not the rule for all Dommes. Many that I see already have a significant other in their lives,so unless they are going the polygamy route,I do not see how this is possible,not to mention that not all Dommes are attracted to submissive males,so....I guess these Dommes will fall into the pit of unrealness.
To top off this little piece of my thoughts,and observations,I am going to relay my thought on what is "real". To me real means taking responsibility for the health and well being of a sub/slave who serves you. A Domme who is safe and sane,who maintains control of herself,and how she treats those that serve her(yes even sadists can respect RACK).
Showing posts with label spoils back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spoils back. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Monday, April 6, 2015
Findom spoil backs
Spoil backs seem to be a popular catch phrase these days especially on twitter. The first time I seen it used,I scratched my head,and thought what the hell does that mean...okay I am not totally standing in the corner with the pointy cap on,but it simply did not make sense to me. I am well versed in the definition of financial domination,and no where in that did I see anything about spoiling back,did you...seriously cause if you did I want to know.
I actually took the time to research the phrase,and how it was being used. What I read comes across as a tit for tat type of interaction,with most of the spoils back being nude photos or videos. Now correct me if I am wrong,but isn't financial domination based upon dominating a submissive's finances? I am pretty sure that I am right,but it could be that the term financial domination has been redefined,and I missed the memo(note to self,check spam mail).
What I am having difficulty reconciling is how sending nude photos or videos falls under the line of financial domination. Of course I grasp the concept of gifting submissives that have excelled in their service to a dominant,but it appears to me that this is more of a business deal. Customer pays,and seller sends goods. Sound right? I guess some would attempt to group in like that of a tip,but still tips are received when service is provided,and if the sender is providing a service,then it still isn't financial domination,so yes here I sit,still going huh!
I guess that I am just not meant to get how it fits in,oh well. Anyways I should tell you that I abhor the phrase,and the ramifications of it. Now I know that to each their own is the motto right? Be accepting,unbiased,and non-judgemental...yup I sure am so long as it does not rain shit on my parade,then it catches my attention,and my ire.
One would say,why let what others do bother you? Well here is the thing. This phrase has infiltrated the scene,and has brought with it the ugly rearing head of entitlement,which needs lanced like an inflamed boil(nasty visual yes). I will give you an example of how this spreads like crabs in an unlicensed brothel. Exhibit A=new to the scene "submissive" who is just learning the ropes so to speak. He checks out twitter to see that woohoo smexy females are offering something called spoils back...wow he makes a bee line post haste to the DM box of a female offering it,and finds out that for a minute amount (generally under $25) he can get pussy and titty pics,OMG how sweet is that!!! Yup now he has some cheap prime spanking material,but dang a couple of days later he is horny again,and wants to try a little something different,so he contacts a woman with the title of Domme asking how much she charges for spoils back,and guess what,she is not liking it,not at all.
Do you see where I am going with this line of reasoning? So,if an estimated 100 new submissives enter the scene daily,and if even a quarter of them jump right on the spoils back bandwagon,that means most likely that 25 Dommes a day are going to be dealing with this shit in their inbox(probably the number is higher,cause we all know how new submissives hit up several inboxes a day til they get what they came looking for),and what are the odds that some of them are going to make an appearance before me hmmmmm...so yes I detest this phrase,and all that it stands for,simply because it will affect me,and I am a domination Domme(I dominate submissives),not a spoils back entitlement providing provider(a pay for wank spank with a sprinkle of sugaring),so please do keep your spoiling back shit outta my inbox,Thanks!
I actually took the time to research the phrase,and how it was being used. What I read comes across as a tit for tat type of interaction,with most of the spoils back being nude photos or videos. Now correct me if I am wrong,but isn't financial domination based upon dominating a submissive's finances? I am pretty sure that I am right,but it could be that the term financial domination has been redefined,and I missed the memo(note to self,check spam mail).
What I am having difficulty reconciling is how sending nude photos or videos falls under the line of financial domination. Of course I grasp the concept of gifting submissives that have excelled in their service to a dominant,but it appears to me that this is more of a business deal. Customer pays,and seller sends goods. Sound right? I guess some would attempt to group in like that of a tip,but still tips are received when service is provided,and if the sender is providing a service,then it still isn't financial domination,so yes here I sit,still going huh!
I guess that I am just not meant to get how it fits in,oh well. Anyways I should tell you that I abhor the phrase,and the ramifications of it. Now I know that to each their own is the motto right? Be accepting,unbiased,and non-judgemental...yup I sure am so long as it does not rain shit on my parade,then it catches my attention,and my ire.
One would say,why let what others do bother you? Well here is the thing. This phrase has infiltrated the scene,and has brought with it the ugly rearing head of entitlement,which needs lanced like an inflamed boil(nasty visual yes). I will give you an example of how this spreads like crabs in an unlicensed brothel. Exhibit A=new to the scene "submissive" who is just learning the ropes so to speak. He checks out twitter to see that woohoo smexy females are offering something called spoils back...wow he makes a bee line post haste to the DM box of a female offering it,and finds out that for a minute amount (generally under $25) he can get pussy and titty pics,OMG how sweet is that!!! Yup now he has some cheap prime spanking material,but dang a couple of days later he is horny again,and wants to try a little something different,so he contacts a woman with the title of Domme asking how much she charges for spoils back,and guess what,she is not liking it,not at all.
Do you see where I am going with this line of reasoning? So,if an estimated 100 new submissives enter the scene daily,and if even a quarter of them jump right on the spoils back bandwagon,that means most likely that 25 Dommes a day are going to be dealing with this shit in their inbox(probably the number is higher,cause we all know how new submissives hit up several inboxes a day til they get what they came looking for),and what are the odds that some of them are going to make an appearance before me hmmmmm...so yes I detest this phrase,and all that it stands for,simply because it will affect me,and I am a domination Domme(I dominate submissives),not a spoils back entitlement providing provider(a pay for wank spank with a sprinkle of sugaring),so please do keep your spoiling back shit outta my inbox,Thanks!
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