A lot of misguided individuals believe that poor little paypigs are brutally taken advantage of by those most "despicable vile con artists" known as FinDommes, and my mission today is to set the record straight by asking and answering some basic questions.
1)Are "paypigs" in the findom scene victims?
Males in the findom arena are consensual participants in a recognized valid fetish. They engage in a power exchange facilitated by the relinquishment of control via financial tribute. The prime adjective to note in that statement is CONSENSUAL. Consent determines the course, and thereby lays waste to the accusation of abuse. If an adult human being of sound mind consents to an activity with defined rules, and outcomes relayed, than they are no more a victim of a crime than any other person who plays in the bdsm world.**Please note that I am NOT stating that victimization never ever occurs in findom, but only that it is NOT the norm.** You will have people with ulterior motivations, and shady agendas in ALL walks of life, but for the most part I am speaking to the normative group who engage in findom.
2)Aren't "FinDommes" money hungry scammers who should just get off their dead ass, and get a real job?
Reality=The majority of women who engage in findom as a dominant, do work regular joe jobs. It is a fetish for them, and even an innate desire to dominate submissives. I am going to estimate here, so keep that in mind, but perhaps only the top earning 1% of women in the findom scene actually rely on findom for all of their income. Just as in any other occupation, earning is competitive, so those top 1% of women are forced to work their asses off to get to the point where they can claim it as a career, which means that they are not sitting around on a dead ass taking advantage of wandering mentally disadvantaged schmucks. I am not denying that they are capitalizing upon the predication of horny males seeking to "get off", because they really are, but they are not employing force, for males will line the blocks to wank off, and you know full well that I am not being disingenuous here. The bottom line here, is that males are willingly, and with foreknowledge reaching out to these women, therefore if any blame must be assigned, than let it be lain at the feet of the instigator.
3)FinDommes don't really care about those lost hapless souls serving them, now do they?
I have seen many, wonderfully fulfilling long term findom relationships evolving over the years. I myself have a male who has been in service to me 12 continuous years as my finsub. He finds supreme satisfaction and fulfillment in sending me gifts of adoration and appreciation. Does he consider this abuse, absolutely NOT, because he finds pleasure in my happiness, and why would I want to deprive him of that? We both receive in the exchange of power. He gives gifts, I receive happiness from his tokens of love, and he receives purpose, direction, and pleasure from pleasing. Now I am going to aver right here and now, that not all findom relationships are identical to the one I just shared, but they may be more similar than what one may think to outsiders. Everyday you can pop on social media and see the terms blackmail and forced ruination, which to the average joe creates the appearance of abuse, but in most instances what you are really seeing is a fetish game played out publicly. Do you honestly believe that blackmailers display their criminal intent, and actions out for consumption? Get real here. Blackmail is a fetish, mind you that it is not one I engage in, but I recognize the edgy excitement of it. As to financial ruination, it occurs, but how much of what you see is real, and how much is fantasy? Fetish play is primarily based upon fantasies, and for most people, being bankrupted is an extreme dose of reality, which is skirted around, but never fully indulged. Sure you may find males who are left broke til next payday, but than, who isn't most of the time??
4)Do all FinDommes consider and treat findom like a business? For some it is. Take a look at 2 of the most popular venues for findom services (niteflirt & iwantclips). These are legitimate business models where consenting customers pay for products. No one is being deceived about what they are paying for. They cannot claim that they did not realize that their wallet was not being tapped. I did say some, but not all ok. Some FinDommes do not sell services. I personally don't, and I am not the only one. This is not to say that I never will, but at this point in time, I do not. As well, I do not judge those that do. So long as no one is being misled, or harmed, it is certainly no business of mine what people choose to do, and this is a philosophy most if not all should adopt.
5)Aren't FinDommes just beggars who chase after every male for money? If a completely random woman is slipping into your inbox asking for or demanding money, that is not a FinDomme, That is an entirely different animal, so do NOT mistake the 2. Findom is not based upon a woman needing money from a male, but she will happily accept it from males who want to give it to her free of strings. Can you tell me the name of any woman who would not want to be given gifts without attached expectations for no reason other than existence, me neither.
6)Aren't FinDommes just whores who fuck for money? Most of the women in findom that I am acquainted with, do not offer sexual services for compensation. Findom at it's hear, atleast for me, is not about tit for tat. It isn't even sexual for me. Yes it is sensual, and yes the power exchange arouses me physically, but it is more about the act of being on the receiving end of a powerful tribute which sets me soaring. I do not masturbate thinking about money, nor the males who gift me with it. I do not stroke a dick for pocket change, or allow a random penis to penetrate me for cash. There is a difference between how a FinDomme operates, and how an escort does. Yes they are both in the realm of sexworkers, but they are not dictated by the same rules. An escort is a service provider, which means that she provides a service for which she is compensated, whereas I do not provide a tangible service, but rather receive service for which I am paid tribute. I hope that makes sense. In the end, if you are looking for intercourse, or a blow job, your best bet is to go with the escort, cause any type of sex, is not happening with me.
It is my hope, that my words have cleared away some of the confusion in regards to findom, and that all may atleast attempt to be less judgemental of fetishes which they have no knowledge of :)
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