Same name, same game

Hello and welcome to Sydney Claire's slice of femdom

The name of the game is findom. 

Now, some of you gents keep trying to change the definition of the game. Whelp I am here to relay to you that it is not going to work.

I so get it that you do not like the rules of findom, but you have 2 choices

1)suck it up, provide and abide
or
2)get your ass outta fetish 

I know that you newer peeps get confused about the definition since it gets mislabeled so much of the time, so I am going to be a generous Goddess, and educate you here and now.

Findom has always been about giving your money to women, and getting nothing in return. Ya ya ya, I am not forgetting the domination aspect of the term, but what you aren't grasping is that the domination part is about dominating finances. Dominating the money, not your dick. 

Seeing as most Dommes are not one pony tricks, they harbor many fetishes, and play them out alongside findom. This is not a bad thing. It is actually a pretty awesome thing, but it can lead to possible confusion, so here I am to clear away the grey.

I am going to break it down for you even further, thereby offering clarity to the fullest.

1)Buying clips is not participating in findom. Buying clips is buying a product, just as selling clips is selling a product.

2)Paying for an online or in person session is not findom. You are paying or offering a service.

3)Procuring used items from a woman is not findom. Acquiring goods or peddling items is business.

Now that I have schooled you as to what findom is not, let's move on to what findom is.

1)Giving, sending money to a woman with zero expectations of receiving anything in return.

2)Giving a woman control over your bank account so that she may decide what you spend and what you buy.

3)Giving gifts to a woman, and once again expecting nothing from her. 

See the difference? Awesome!! I knew that you were a smart cookie ;-)

You are now ready to dive in deep into the exhilarating fetish of findom. Feel free to thank me with a tribute
SydneyClaire@protonmail.com

Commercialized fetish

Welcome to all who have found themselves here :)

Take a seat on my couch, relax, and prepare yourself for some hard cold truths today.

Day in, day out tends to blur into a revolving screen of repetitiveness when it comes to the fetish scene. The majority of what I see are complaints. Disgruntlements lodged by females and males alike. Of course they differ in the wording somewhat, but they all boil down to the same basis.

Before I get into the nitty gritty, allow me to share this disclaimer
*Not all women, and not all men*

Now that we have gotten that piece of business out of the way, let's delve into the pot shall we?

The findom, and a greater aspect of the femdom you see playing out online is commercialized. Meaning that it is a business. An occupation. A source of livelihood. It is about the financial return upon products advertised. In these cases, the product is a fantasy. Men are the customers, and women are the sellers of fantasies, whether that be via clips, or sessions. This is why broke and fetish do not mix. No money means no product purchased, and that negates the need for existence in the scene. 

This is reality, and regardless if you like it or not, it is just the way it is. You cannot change that which is inexorable. Accept, adapt, or give up. Those are your only options. 

The overwhelming majority of people do NOT work for free. Do you? Bills must be paid and food must be bought. Compensation for time spent and effort expended is not an option, it is a requirement, and anyone attempting to procure a service sans the intention of rendering payment is a scammer. Are you a scammer?


For those whom cannot afford to pay, you honestly have no place here. I realize that you do not want to hear the truth of it, but it has to be said. Fetish is a luxury, and luxury has never been cost efficient.

It is comparative to vanilla dating in a financial sense. No money equals no date. Women are not seeking out men who bring nothing to the relationship other than their cock. The desire to be spoiled with gifts is in the very nature of women, so if you are not gifting(paying), you are not getting anywhere with women. This is why you are single, and this is why you will remain that way til you are able to do so.

The worst thing you can do in this situation is to get angry with women over it. It is not a woman's fault that she prefers men who are financially able and willing to enrich her life. The fault lies with you. Work harder, do better, earn more. Go back to school, snag overtime, seek out a second job if you have to, but do something, cause sitting back being pissed off at women will get you no where.  Do you want to end up a lonely miserable misogynistic bitter incel?

Okay my Ladies, your turn.
Men in the scene do not give a flying fig about you, your circumstances, or your future. It doesn't matter to them if you are having a difficult time, or in desperate straights. They are here for the fantasy, and that is all. You exist to sate their desires, and when they walk away from the computer, you cease to exist in their minds. Sounds cold and sterile eh? It is the way of it though.

Do you think customers shopping in a brick and mortar store sit around thinking about how that business is doing financially, or even care if that business will be there the next time they want to shop, other than it being a minor inconvenience if they have to seek out a new store to shop at? This is the reality you face in the fetish scene. Men do not tend to be brand loyal. Their attention ebbs and flows when the market is saturated with an endless supply of shiny objects. Yes, you are more than that, but to men, you are not. They are just as happy to slip into someone else's inbox as they were yours. In fact, they thrill to the adventure of trying someone new, so please please please, do not place your hopes, dreams, and financial future in their single basket. Diversify :)

I am not going to get into the whys or hows the scene came to be this way, for it matters not since it would be damn near impossible to alter the course set at this point, and it would be cruel of me to mislead any of you as to the reality of how the fetish scene works right now. You can opt in, or opt out, but complaining about it serves no purpose. Accept, adapt, or give up.

The worst thing you can do at this point is complain about timewasters, advertise your inability to make rent, beg for money, or bitch about other women. You are selling a fantasy, not a sob story.

I hate to end posts on a negative note, so allow me to spread some positivity here. If you are a man, and you are willing to spend, you are golden, and if you are a woman who has a fantasy to sell, you are diamond!!

The Gift

One of the most basic responsibilities in FinDom is the giving of gifts to your Domme. Whether it be cash or material items. It is a given, and need not be expounded upon, for all who claim the status of "finsub, paypig, cashslave, human atm, generous gent, pay pet, etc.." know that tribute is their honored duty.

It truly is an honor to gift your Goddess, for she is meant to be the center of your universe. She guides you in submission to her. She educates you upon her protocol. She shares of her time, knowledge, and patience with you. She is the star you look to when you are unsure of which way to go. These are just a few of the reasons why submissives give gifts in thanks to their Domme.

The issue many males have with this structure is that they want to know what is in it for them. By the way, this is an incorrect and self-centered mindset. Anyways, what is it that males who worship and tribute receive from their FinDommes? The answer is simplistic, yet apparently fully incomprehensible to those who cannot and will not see past themselves. 

Giving is submitting. It is relinquishing that which has been held dear, into the hands of one they hold dear. It is a supplication of will. It is a release of ego and demands for self. It is selfless. It is freedom from the binds of society dictates for male behavior, yet not, for it has always been a male's sacred duty to support and provide for females. That aspect does not alter, but the intent behind the action does. He gives, not because he is told that he must, he gives because he wants to receive the joy and pleasure of submitting his riches to a woman that he holds in highest esteem. He gives because he wants her world to sparkle and shine with the brilliance of his utter devotion to her happiness. 

Giving to a Domme provides a submissive with the opportunity to submit, which is her most priceless gift to him. Accepting the submission of a submissive is a gift. The Domme is allowing the submissive to serve out their intended in life purpose, and that is truly a gift of means beyond the tangible. She is giving the gift of purpose. She is providing pleasure to the submissive by accepting their servitude. The submissive receives these gifts from his Domme, so please do leave off with the entire "what does the submissive get for their money BS". FinDom relationships are indeed about giving and receiving. The submissive gives monetary gifts, and he receives the gift of purpose. 

Now get off your duff, and get to spending, and sending, so that you too can be gifted with purpose in life!

FinDumme Subbies

Gentlemen you all are getting twisted! Do you even know what Findom is? I really do not believe that you do.

This is coming straight from my perspective, and if you want to disagree, that is cool, but my view is firm, which means that you are not going to be changing my mind, okies.

Findom is not about you, or your dick. It never was, and never will be. Yes Dommes know that you are obsessed with that worthless skin sac in your pants, but they are not. Dommes do not wake up every morning thinking..hey I hope that I will be lucky enough to help a bunch of random dicks spew out of the goodness of my heart, whilst asking nothing for myself. Seriously who even thinks like that...ya you do. 

If this is how you think, YOU are the anal leakage of the fetish. This is Financial Domination bb...that means MONEY. It is a fetish based upon MONEY, not dick. It is about dicks giving their money to women plain and simple. Don't like the truth of it, don't come around here no more, cause it ain't gonna change no matter how much you wish it would. Just get over yourself, and accept that in order to play in this sandbox, you are going to have to pay the entrance fee. Findom was always about the money, no matter how many other fetishes get umbrellad under the term. It is about the money, it was about the money, it will be about the money.

Hold up, don't think that I am forgetting about the domination aspect. Look at the words again. FINANCIAL DOMINATION. It is the act of dominating finances. Dominating money, and that breaks down to...YOU giving your money to women. See how apparent that is? The route that the domination of that cash takes is up to the dominant, but if the money is not involved, it AIN'T Financial Domination. Spin it however you want, but get the terminology correct. No money = no findom. That clear?? If not, you are too stupid to exist on this planet.

Gift because Goddess says so

You may not know this about me, especially if you are new to the sect of Sydney, but I lend my efforts and time to a multitude of charitable endeavors throughout the year. I pride myself on giving back, and expect the gents who serve me, to support my charities with their wallets.

This year, my big push is to provide warmth to those less fortunate, and you my dear boys can aid me by purchasing blankets from my amazon wish list for donation. It is an inexpensive way to show me that you are a decent human being who is worthy of consideration of membership into my selective sect of servants. Truly there is no believable excuse you could think up to negate doing so. 

These blankets are less than $20 apiece, which is doable for even the brokest of jokes. I honestly don't care if you have to scrounge parking lots for pennies to purchase one..in fact that would most likely make me laugh. 

I expect this wish list to be cleared within a month, and no less. It is the least that you can do to please me, and that should be your primary goal, so get on with it gents...clear the list, and be a good boy for Goddess :) 

Ghosting time is near in FinDom

 Welcome to Goddess Sydney's Sect, where she is the

You know the saying about how the holidays are the best time of the year? Well in my experience, when it comes to the FinDom fetish scene, the holidays are the leanest times of the year.

Why? Simple, this is the time of year that most males ghost on out of the scene. They opt out early, so that they do not have to spend on and send to Dommes on the holiday. 

You know, Dommes are human right? We do grasp that most males have families and friends that they want to gift on the holidays. My issue with the holiday rush away, is that a male knows all year long when the holidays are coming, which means that they have every opportunity to sock away a bit on the side for their Domme. It really is that easy. Think ahead, and enjoy domination all year long! I mean, submission is one of your goals right, so why wouldn't you ensure continued ability to serve?

A lot of you males make the assumption that you can just pop back into a Domme's inbox after the holidays to take up where you left off, but you are making an ass of yourself. Dommes do remember who was there, and who bailed when gifts should have been forthcoming, so don't act all surprised and pissy when you are denied return entrance.

I realize that a great many of you guys have been brainwashed into believing that since you hold the wallet, that you hold the reins as well, but you are forgetting exactly who holds the ultimate power. Women owe you nothing, and even a wad of cash will not guarantee that you will be accepted back into the fold, so why bother taking that chance? Think to the future by stashing a little bit away before the holiday craze. Surely you have loose change at night, or the ones you got back when you broke a twenty. Take that money and put it in a jar, an envelope, or somewhere safe. Practice this all year long, and by the time the holidays roll around, you will have an impressive gift to give your Domme. It is a win win for you! 

Thank me by sending amazon gift cards to mzsydney34@yahoo.com

Service with a smile

This was a lovely weekend for me! I had some spare time, so I summoned my little brat boy, and brightened up his Sunday :)

 He got the honor of cleaning out and up my new ride he paid for of course...and the ultimate joy of filling it up with gas for the week. Aren't I a generous owner lol

Of course whilst I had him in my claws...there was so much for him to do, and not a bit of it sexy. I bet you were all thinking that serving is comprised of dick rising play, ha ha..you were wrong.

He was tasked with cleaning up the tubing, and outside of my furnace, along with lighting the pilot light for it, cause it was cold this weekend. Not only was he gifted with such an honor, he as well obtained the privilege of cleaning behind my washer and dryer, and pulling out my refrigerator to tidy behind it as well. That gentlemen is what I call the grunge work of service. It is just as much a part of service as fun play time is. 

That is not top say that he did not earn some special time with me, for he did. Why, not because he was entitled to it, but because he serves without complaint or question. I tell him what I need done, and he does it. He comes whenever I beckon, and thanks me for having use for him. That is what endears him to me. He serves without expectation.

Serving without expectation is what makes a male valuable, worthy, and well thought of. Can you ever imagine yourself being such a male? Are you capable of serving without wanting or demanding something you desire in return? 

This gent is why my standards are set at the level I maintain, for I know that there are males out there capable and willing to be what I need them to be in service, and if you are one such as I describe, than you have my permission to reach out to me and apply :)

Financial Impotence in Findom

Good morning minions of mine

Does anyone know what it means to be impotent? I bet you do lol..and no I am not talking about that shameful problem you have downstairs. I am talking about impotence in relation to findom. 

 Impotence in findom is when you just cannot get it up to send..again not talking about your personal pecker problem. This means that you do not have the juice (cash) to tribute. You are lacking the resources required to spew a cash load into my hot greedy account. That is financial impotence, and it is more than shameful, it is utterly disgustingly ugly. 

Never ever ever show your face in a woman's inbox if you cannot provide for her happiness, and no your dick is not what sweet dreams are made of. Your dick enters the picture only in nightmares. Providing for a woman is one of the most basic tenets of being dubbed a man, for a man who cannot provide is no man at all. He is essentially a boil upon the ass of society, and should be lanced immediately. Get my drift? 

It is more than acceptable if you are a premature ejaculator of tribute though :) You can fill my inbox all night long with those, cause that is the only way you will ever be invited to thrust into my box lol, so get your hands into position, and send send send like a man!

Women do not want to be your comfy old slipper

Welcome all to the world where Goddess Sydney shares her words of wisdom!

Something that I am most definitely not, is your comfortable old pair of slippers just waiting for you to have use for me once again. 

I know that some of you are shaking your head saying "what the crap is she talking about?", so I am going to enlighten you in regards to the point of my post today.

There once was a male (not naming and faming him) who only came knocking at my inbox when he wanted to make use of me, and any other time he would ghost me like a sonofabitch til that time popped up again. Do you know why this pisses me off?

1)I do not appreciate males attempting to use me for their own personal gain..I know that you are laughing now, cause holy shit, isn't that what a FinDomme does to males, and the answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no.

Yes I use males for my own financial gain, but with that gain, I also expect them to follow my rules of domination, which means a)keeping in regular contact b)giving me priority in their lives c)completing all assigned tasks d)not being selfish or self-centered. Yup that is surely a butt load to expect isn't it?

What they gain from the experience is my level of control. They are free to relinquish control over that tight rope they walk in everyday life, and just give in to their desires of submission, which in turn promotes happiness for them. 

Are you beginning yet to grasp why I am peeved?

Let's digress.

2)Now not only does this male fail to keep in contact, but he is miserly with tribute, when I know full well that he spends three times as much on his own comforts than my own. Hmm does that sound like selfish and self-centered behavior? 

3)I have been so very kind in giving this male chance after chance to alter this undesirable behavior, yet it continues. I am not patience eternal, nor am I your Mother who will love and forgive you anything. I am a human being like any other (well I do consider myself pretty damn special :) which means, that even I am going to get fed up, and cut ties with those that lack basic appreciation of me. Sounds fair doesn't it? I think so. 

***Bottom line: Regardless of what role you play in my life. If you do not, cannot, or simply will not care for or about me more than you do yourself, than I do not want you playing any role in my life period.***

Loyalty Isn't a grey matter

Welcome to the sphere of Goddess Sydney! A place where you must earn your spot.

 “Loyalty isn’t grey. It’s black and white. You’re either loyal completely, or not loyal at all. And people have to understand this. You can’t be loyal only when it serves you.” -Shamay


Loyalty when it serves only you is a guise of selfishness. Did you know that? 

Loyalty is an essential building block in the foundation of a D's relationship. If loyalty is absent, than chaos will become destructive. 

Most people living today have no grounded concept of loyalty, not even to those they claim as their own. Open up any news outlet online, and you will see family selling out family for a buck, or a minute of mentions. Utterly discouraging is it not? I believe so. 

This is just one solitary reason why so many fail when it comes to achieving an enduring D's relationship. 

Why is loyalty so very difficult to maintain in bdsm exchanges? I am going to share with you a few of my own thoughts as to the reason. Feel free to comment with your own thoughts, and opinions in regards to the subject.

1)Femdom is a literally smorgasbord of beautiful women. It is the candy shop which kicks all other candy shop's asses. There are just so many erotically stimulating women to offer your services to, so of course you may become overwhelmed, thereby eradicating your sense of reasoning when it comes to choosing just one to serve, cause why should you limit yourself when you can lick this one, take a bite of that one, even swallow of morsel of them all right? I get it, I really do. You guys are spoiled for selection. It is rather like winning the submissive lottery. Why should you be loyal to anyone other than yourself? That is the question, and it is up to you to make that choice. No one can force you to settle for a single slice, but please don't complain when you get sick from overindulgence. Eventually the best of you will deduct that variety is not always the spice of life.

2)Marital or romantic relationship status. Many of you that I see day in, day out, are already involved in a "vanilla" relationship, and this factor can lead you to draw a line of loyalty down the middle, in which you already have a primary interest, so what time you do devote online is a phantom piece of what an unattached male would offer up. Is that really fair, or even conducive to forming any type of cohesive D's relationship? I would say not. 

3)You really are a selfish shit that cannot or will not see past the end of your dick. You have no concerns about forming any type of relationship beyond the one you enjoy wanking to. You will buzz like a bee to every single honeypot you can find. You are the slutiest of sluts, and worse than a huge zit on picture day.

4)You are purely immature. You have failed to grow into an adult mindset as of yet. You are young, and full of dumb cum, so you just have not developed the skills and maturity to recognize that loyalty has it's own rewards.

Loyalty is an intensely black or white quality in my estimation. You are either loyal or you aren't. There is no in between or kinda crap, and those that are not loyal are cut quick from my life. Life is short, and yes I know that most of you think that femdom is all fun fun fun, but if you cannot grasp the seriousness of some aspects, than I really want nothing to do with you. 

Loyalty is an expectation of mine from the get go, and no it is not too much to ask for. 

Now you tell me: Are you loyal? Do you expect loyalty from those in your life? Would you want anything to do with a person that you cannot count upon their loyalty to you?

Life is simpler when your aspirations become less complex

Welcome all followers to the slice of sphere where my word is sacrosanct 

This is your school where you will learn to serve a purpose greater than yourself.

This is your church where you will learn to worship and look beyond the material desires of man.

This is your home where you will find peace and comfort in knowing that you were created for something worthwhile.

Your male mind is polluted daily with notions which serve no use, other than to glorify the toxic patriarchy.  You have been brainwashed into believing that you are greater than women, that your will is of more noble design than theirs, that you are essentially elevated above women by virtue of being born with a penis. Your mind is a chalkboard filled with erroneous facts, which must be wiped clean. 

If the seed of desire for your evolution was not within you, than you would not be here now reading my words, and absorbing my direction. You want to change. You need to change. You must change.  I propose the steps you should tread, but if your mind is not cleared of the chaos imbued through repetitious patriarchal programing, than you will fall flat, and fail in your purpose.  Do you want to fail? Do you want to be a failure in this lifetime?

Where does change begin? It begins one assured step at a time. Begin by eliminating one selfish thought per day. Simple yes? Easy yes?  Try this for 1 week, and share with me your progress. Tell me how you have began your journey towards absolution for your sins of selfishness.  On the second week, eradicate one selfish act per day. Just one action. Surely it will not even impose upon you that very much. I mean, what could it hurt? Share with me what action you relegated to the bin of banishment. Try this for 2 weeks, and see if you are able to gain a better perspective of what it means to alter your life towards a selfless existence.

Onto the next step. Go through your clothing closet, and donate the items that you have not worn in a year's time. Not your underwear though, because that is beyond disgusting, just throw those away! Giving is receiving, and by donating you are aiding others, while encouraging the growth of selflessness within yourself.  After the purge of unused clothing, move onto your other possessions. Do you need trinkets, and items gathering dust in your living space? Freeing yourself from the burden of their ownership will be like a breath of fresh air literally. Clutter is not conducive to a simple life. You do not need to own items that serve no use. This step involves a bit more effort, but not so very much that you cannot accomplish it within a a couple of weeks.

After all of this, I want you to take some time and pontificate upon how your life has changed at this point. You are freed from one daily act, and thought of selfishness, and you have reorganized your space to efficiency.  Do you feel better about yourself? Do you see yourself as more productive, giving, and of use? Change can feel so very good, if you just give it a chance. 

The bigger and more complicated steps will come next, but those I will save til you are ready to embark upon them.

Remember, one step at a time!

Breaching the taboo fetish of homewrecking

Welcome to the world of Goddess Sydney. Where words paint the picture of femdom reality. Join me..entertain me..obey me...and pay tribute to the divinity of Goddess!

Were you aware that I possess morals and limits in regards to femdom activities? I can see some of you scratching your balls, and thinking huh..a femdom (which most would classify as a sex worker) having morals. I bet that you think it to be an oxymoron, correct?

You would be wrong. I always have, and always will have clearly drawn lines of what I deem acceptable in my own form of femdom. I have that right, just as you have the right to declare what is off limits in your estimation. Hard limits differ in each individual, and it should go without saying that anything illegal should be a hard limit for everyone, but of course you will see some people hugging the curve so closely, that they eventually run right off the track into legal jeopardy. You do not want to be that person, believe me, so even if you fantasize about something seriously over the line, keep it a fantasy only. 

A trending fetish fantasy is homewrecking. Homewrecking has been an area where my feet would not tread, but slowly I have been pontificating aspects of it. I am not referring to the role play of it, that many poke at, but rather at the reality of plunging into it eyes open.

My issue with the fetish has been the thought that it infringes upon my moral code of bringing no harm to fellow women, but would it really be me bringing harm? I am not the one insidiously venturing online to get my jollies whilst my partner is utterly unaware of my activities. That is YOU. It is you that has made commitments, and oaths of fidelity, which are being broken without consent. That is YOU. 

Your betrayal is what makes you unworthy of your SO. Therefore I might indeed view myself as in fact aiding my fellow female by removing your presence from her life. She deserves better than you. She deserves a man who is honest, trustworthy, and capable of controlling his base instincts to stray. That is NOT you. You are a liability to her future happiness, and I would be doing her a favor by severing the bond built upon lies. Don't you agree?

Some would argue that it is kinder to allow your SO to live a lie, but is it really? We both know that you are not going to change. You simply do not want to. You like the perversity of interacting with other women in a manner that suits your sexual desires. Your heart races, and the blood pools in your groin when you think about pushing the envelop to the very edge of exposure, but are you ready for the reality of it? Are you prepared to live your life alone, bereft of a woman standing by your side through thick and thin? Do you really want to plunge into the dark icy unknown world of homewrecking? Are you ready to be wrecked?

I am not talking about playing a role, or a game where everything returns to normal when you get up from the computer,  crawl into bed, and snuggle up to your SO with a raging hard on because of your nasty nocturnal habits. I am referring to the cold sheets, half your assets removed, no one there to hear you whimper in the dark DIVORCE. Where your only comfort comes from following my orders to the T. No pity, no leniency. Just you doing as told, day after day after day. You ready? You want it? You got to have it?  

Think real hard about it, because there is no going back. No do overs. No second chances for you. Tick tock goes the marital clock.

Realistic unselfishness in a totally self absorbed society

Welcome to my strand of the net....

Have you as a male ever seen me preach about the virtue of being less selfish in submissive service? If you are a first time visitor to my blog, than it is unlikely, but if you are a regular follower of mine, you could not legitimately deny it.

I have spoken of the importance of relinquishing self serving agendas from day one. It is both significant, and a requirement of providing essential service in a femdom relationship. How would you possess any reasonable expectations of your efforts being recognized as of value, if your focus remains internal? You cannot. 

Serving in submission to a dominant woman is both a blessing and a curse so to speak. A blessing, in that it forces you purge yourself of the curse of male entitlement. I realize that many of you even fail to recognize that you believe yourself to be entitled, but I am here to flash it before your face. 

You live in a society where women continue to be thought of (even if only subconsciously) as possessions of males and extensions of their prowess. This mentality is in direct opposition of the definition of femdom, which is why so many of you fail in your attempts to actually get to the down and dirty, nitty gritty aspects of servitude to women. 

You walk around day in, day out believing in your core of beliefs that men are owed by women. That on some basic level, women owe you their sexuality, and their submission to your designs. This is a debilitating, and destructive set of ideals. No doubt some of you are crying out "not me", or "not all men"....but it is ALL men. Now I am not inferring that some men are not further along the journey to freeing themselves from this misogynistic ideology than others, but I do question if any man is ever totally freed from the ingrained chains of it.

In order to effect change, one must be willing to alter themselves to the point at which they wish to see others emulate. You must begin to ask and answer difficult soul searching questions, such as

1)Do you truly want to serve women, or is your agenda to serve predicated upon your desire to have your desires met?
2)Must you receive in order to give? If so, your giving is not selfless.
3)Is your offer of servitude confined to the bedroom..ie activities where you are likely to gain gratification?
4)Is your servitude based upon your level of physical attraction to a woman? If so, would you imagine it fair to say, that you are objectifying her for your personal preferences?

I will not stretch your mind with further ongoing queries today, but those 4 should push your comfort level down a notch. 

My goal is for you as submissive male, is to take a hard look at your motivations in service, and to see what drives you to submit. If that motivation is based upon selfishness, you are not truly submitting, but rather attempting to role play it, and that is not beneficial in the long run, for you are failing to fully submit. Sure, are getting off to the idea of submitting, but you are bypassing the deeper meaning of the submissive experience, and that is where the beauty of femdom lies. 

To the troglodytes in the back row, I am going to break this down to the simplest level possible. Selfish=bad Selfless=good. 

Til next we speak, poppets
Goddess Sydney

Making a commitment to being dependable

Welcome one and all to the sphere of Goddess Sydney....

 

Do you know what it means to be dependable? Being dependable means that a person can continuously rely upon you. Is this something you think about, or is it simply ingrained within you?  

Your youth tends to set the tone for the development of dependability.  Ask yourself these questions to ascertain the truth of your level of dependability.

1)When you were in school, could your teacher depend upon your attendance, and diligence to completing your homework, or were you a truant sloth?

2)Did you have friends who felt comfortable sharing their secrets with you? Was their trust misplaced? Could you be counted on being a dependable friend?

3)When your parents assigned you chores, could they rely upon you to see them done, or did you offer excuses and insolence? 

4)When you applied for your first job, did your prospective employer make it clear that you must show up on time each and every scheduled day if you wanted to retain the position? Did you keep faith with that commitment, or were you late with regularity, or absent many shifts? 

5)Did you have girlfriends, and were you faithful to that relationship, or were you a cheating coward who lacked the backbone to sever the ties before seeking thrills elsewhere?

Fast forward to today

1)Are you a dependable man?

2)Are you a man of your word?

I want you to really think about your answers before you ever approach me to serve in a submissive capacity. Dependability is a required trait in any submissive I undertake to train. 

If I cannot depend upon you, than you really serve no use. Trust is one of the cornerstones of a bdsm relationship. You trust me not to push beyond your hard limits, or to the point of permanent damage, and in turn I trust you to be an honest, loyal, selfless, devoted, dependable man. Without that trust, there is no future in a power exchange, and I for one play the long game.

When I set a task, or ask that you be available to me, even note a schedule for regular tithing, than I need to be able to depend upon you to accomplish what I put before you as commands, so keep this in mind when first you ask to kneel for me, otherwise you are knowingly wasting my time, and yours, which is a cardinal sin in the book of Goddess Sydney!

Victimization of male submissives in findom

Welcome to the sphere of Goddess Sydney. A safe space for males to experience the reality of being inferior to a woman :)

A lot of misguided individuals believe that poor little paypigs are brutally taken advantage of by those most "despicable vile con artists" known as FinDommes, and my mission today is to set the record straight by asking and answering some basic questions.

1)Are "paypigs" in the findom scene victims? 
Males in the findom arena are consensual participants in a recognized valid fetish. They engage in a power exchange facilitated by the relinquishment of control via financial tribute. The prime adjective to note in that statement is CONSENSUAL. Consent determines the course, and thereby lays waste to the accusation of abuse. If an adult human being of sound mind consents to an activity with defined rules, and outcomes relayed, than they are no more a victim of a crime than any other person who plays in the bdsm world.**Please note that I am NOT stating that victimization never ever occurs in findom, but only that it is NOT the norm.** You will have people with ulterior motivations, and shady agendas in ALL walks of life, but for the most part I am speaking to the normative group who engage in findom.

2)Aren't "FinDommes" money hungry scammers who should just get off their dead ass, and get a real job?
Reality=The majority of women who engage in findom as a dominant, do work regular joe jobs. It is a fetish for them, and even an innate desire to dominate submissives. I am going to estimate here, so keep that in mind, but perhaps only the top earning 1% of women in the findom scene actually rely on findom for all of their income. Just as in any other occupation, earning is competitive, so those top 1% of women are forced to work their asses off to get to the point where they can claim it as a career, which means that they are not sitting around on a dead ass taking advantage of wandering mentally disadvantaged schmucks. I am not denying that they are capitalizing upon the predication of horny males seeking to "get off", because they really are, but they are not employing force, for males will line the blocks to wank off, and you know full well that I am not being disingenuous here. The bottom line here, is that males are willingly, and with foreknowledge reaching out to these women, therefore if any blame must be assigned, than let it be lain at the feet of the instigator. 

3)FinDommes don't really care about those lost hapless souls serving them, now do they?
I have seen many, wonderfully  fulfilling long term findom relationships evolving over the years. I myself have a male who has been in service to me 12 continuous years as my finsub. He finds supreme satisfaction and fulfillment in sending me gifts of adoration and appreciation. Does he consider this abuse, absolutely NOT, because he finds pleasure in my happiness, and why would I want to deprive him of that? We both receive in the exchange of power. He gives gifts, I receive happiness from his tokens of love, and he receives purpose, direction, and pleasure from pleasing. Now I am going to aver right here and now, that not all findom relationships are identical to the one I just shared, but they may be more similar than what one may think to outsiders. Everyday you can pop on social media and see the terms blackmail and forced ruination, which to the average joe creates the appearance of abuse, but in most instances what you are really seeing is a fetish game played out publicly. Do you honestly believe that blackmailers display their criminal intent, and actions out for consumption? Get real here. Blackmail is a fetish, mind you that it is not one I engage in, but I recognize the edgy excitement of it. As to financial ruination, it occurs, but how much of what you see is real, and how much is fantasy? Fetish play is primarily based upon fantasies, and for most people, being bankrupted is an extreme dose of reality, which is skirted around, but never fully indulged. Sure you may find males who are left broke til next payday, but than, who isn't most of the time??

4)Do all FinDommes consider and treat findom like a business? For some it is. Take a look at 2 of the most popular venues for findom services (niteflirt & iwantclips). These are legitimate business models where consenting customers pay for products. No one is being deceived about what they are paying for. They cannot claim that they did not realize that their wallet was not being tapped. I did say some, but not all ok. Some FinDommes do not sell services. I personally don't, and I am not the only one. This is not to say that I never will, but at this point in time, I do not. As well, I do not judge those that do. So long as no one is being misled, or harmed, it is certainly no business of mine what people choose to do, and this is a philosophy most if not all should adopt.

5)Aren't FinDommes just beggars who chase after every male for money? If a completely random woman is slipping into your inbox asking for or demanding money, that is not a FinDomme, That is an entirely different animal, so do NOT mistake the 2.  Findom is not based upon a woman needing money from a male, but she will happily accept it from males who want to give it to her free of strings. Can you tell me the name of any woman who would not want to be given gifts without attached expectations for no reason other than existence, me neither. 

6)Aren't FinDommes just whores who fuck for money? Most of the women in findom that I am acquainted with, do not offer sexual services for compensation. Findom at it's hear, atleast for me, is not about tit for tat. It isn't even sexual for me. Yes it is sensual, and yes the power exchange arouses me physically, but it is more about the act of being on the receiving end of a powerful tribute which sets me soaring. I do not masturbate thinking about money, nor the males who gift me with it. I do not stroke a dick for pocket change, or allow a random penis to penetrate me for cash. There is a difference between how a FinDomme operates, and how an escort does. Yes they are both in the realm of sexworkers, but they are not dictated by the same rules. An escort is a service provider, which means that she provides a service for which she is compensated, whereas I do not provide a tangible service, but rather receive service for which I am paid tribute. I hope that makes sense. In the end, if you are looking for intercourse, or a blow job, your best bet is to go with the escort, cause any type of sex, is not happening with me. 

It is my hope, that my words have cleared away some of the confusion in regards to findom, and that all may atleast attempt to be less judgemental of fetishes which they have no knowledge of  :)

Submitting to a Dominatrix can be the most exhilarating experience

Welcome to the wonderful world of Goddess Sydney. A place where submissives line up to lay their submission at my feet!

 
 Submission begins in the mind, not the flesh. It is a conscious decision to relinquish control over yourself. It must be a conscious decision, else submission would not be submission, but rather an exchange painted by the stroke of abuse. 

Submission brings forth an avalanche of emotions, which can at times bury you beneath them. It can be frightening to the point of fight or flight survival mode. It may come with a full body tingling awareness of pure bliss. It may even trigger thoughts, and feelings that should be left alone. My point being, that submission can be many things to many people, which means that no two may ever experience it in the same manner, even if they are both subjected to duplicate stimuli.

The path of your submission is in most part within your control. You retain the power to make choices along the way. What choices do you have within your power?

1)You alone will decide whom you offer your submission to.
2)You alone will decide exactly what your hard limits are.
3)You alone can decide for yourself to sever the ties of submission within a D's relationship.

Submissives are not what society has scripted for them. They are not created from birth meek and weak of will. Many will be indeed of strong character, and moral fortitude. A man may bow before a woman, yet remain a man. There is no written, nor unwritten rule declaring that all submissives must be doormats to be walked upon. 

Submission is a contract, and no I do not refer to a legal document. You as the submissive agree to submit your will to another, with the provision that it is followed within the parameters that both submissive and Dominant agree upon, which may vary, and change over time, but it remains constant that the submissive has the right to refuse to remand control over aspects which they have not agreed to, or decree limited scope in specific instances. 

At the core of submission is the desire to let go, to give of yourself, to be free of the yolk life tethers you with. You will fly uninhibited from the constraints of society. It is both beautiful, and a blessing to submit to a Dominant. It is a life altering experience. An awakening of sorts, from which you will embrace wholeheartedly. 

Many will flee in fear, for the unknown blankets them beyond their expectations.Others will grab on with both hands, and ride the ride in exhilaration. One thing I have noted over my years in bdsm, is that those that run as if the wind cannot catch them, will eventually drift back to it, for if you possess a submissive heart, you will never be able to completely cut ties with it.  A submissive nature, a yearning to be dominated, cannot be imprisoned irrevocably. It will bring itself out, one way or another. 

My advice is to NOT run headlong into submission, but rather to gauge your ability to submit at the point in time, and take small steps til you find yourself knee deep. At that time you will hopefully possess the knowledge you need to survive the roller coaster  emotions of submission, intact. If you remain draped in doubts even then, tread water, take a deep breath, and immerse yourself slowly, til you find that one Dominant who makes you feel safe in submission. It may take months, years, even decades, but if you persevere, it will happen for you someday :)

FemDomme days of the year

Welcome to the diversely perverse world of Goddess Sydney

Do you know what time it is?  Odd question to ask online yes? I agree, but I am not asking you to look at your watch, or peek at your phone for the time of day, what I am asking, is do you keep track of time? 

Do you know that Valentine's Day comes once a year? Do you know that Christmas arrives on the same day, every year? Have you noticed that your birthday announces itself on that one special day, the exact same special day, every year? 

I bet that you have noticed these annual events. You would have to be beyond obtuse not to. What am I getting at? No it is not my birthday, or Christmas, or even Valentine's day. My point being, that these holidays come once a year, year in, year out. Decade after decade, they keep on coming, so....you have an entire year to plan around these things.

You have a year to figure out what to buy that special someone in your life, which means that there is absolutely no good reason to ever say "oh I forgot". To excuse negligence is insulting. 

Part of showing a woman that she matters to you, is acknowledging your appreciation of her existence. This means remembering special days, and gifts to go along with them. Did you know that women love gifts? A wise man knows that women are the center of the universe, well atleast his anyway.

Women are the central figure in a male's life from birth. You are born from a woman, and you will spend your lifetime trying to get back into a woman. Ironic yes?

There is a saying that goes, "If Momma is not happy, than no one is happy". Do you understand that concept? If not, well allow me to explain it to you. When a woman is not happy, she will make it known. There will be no smiles, no kind words, no laughter, and no joy in how she goes about her day. This is a tragedy! Women deserve happiness, and you as a man should be ensuring that happiness through your words, and most importantly through your actions. You have an obligation towards it. 

Believe it or not, women are the backbone of any society. They are strength, they are compassion, they are human kindness personified. They deserve your very best efforts, not your lukewarm leftovers. 

Today, this day, I want you to make a commitment, a promise to always do the utmost possible to provide for the happiness of that special woman in your life. If you are not quite following my words, than I will be quite clear! Your Domina should be your first priority, your center, the concrete upon which your life is built. Your obligations begin with her. She is the leader you will follow, and the icon you will worship, so her happiness will be paramount to your own. Do you understand? I sincerely hope so. 

Make that commitment, and I promise that your life in submission will sail that much smoother :) 

Soundcloud recording

 Click on the link below. Listen to my voice,and obey my commands






https://soundcloud.com/mzsydney/surrender-sacrifice-serve-suffer-for-mzsydney