One chance to make a lasting memory

Gentlemen do you realize that the first impression you make upon a dominant woman is the one that sets the tone for your entire exchange, and if the impression she receives of you is poor, than you may have killed off all possibilities of serving her.

You guys tend to make the same mistake over and over with the same results. What does that sound like..hmm the definition of insanity ring a bell? 

Where are you going wrong? If these are the opening messages you are sending, than this is how you are getting off on the wrong foot.

1)Hi

2)Hey

3)Wats up (sexy, beautiful, gorgeous, honey, sugar, girl, woman etc)

4)Dick pic

5)I would do anything to serve you

6)I want you to do XYZ to me

7)Do you wanna fuck

8)I wanna hit that

9)I got a cum tribute for you

10)You make my dick hard

11)I am a broke student, and can't pay you, but can I serve you anyway

12)You are just a whore after my money(hurling insults in the hope of receiving a backlash of humiliation)

13)Real Dommes dominate for free

14)Can I get your skype, kik etc..

15)Here are some photos for you to blackmail me with

16)Here is my paypal addy for you to take my money

17)Can I be your live in slave

18)Will you marry me so I can get a green card

19)Nice tits, ass, pussy etc..

20)What do I get if I pay

Now at one time or another, I have received every single one of these messages as an opening gambit. Do you wanna guess the rate of success with these approaches? Zero, zilch, and no where but blocked. 

Women really do not have the patience or interest in speaking with asinine males, who lack the very common sense required to interact with a fellow living, breathing human being. 

Do not be this type of male. You have been educated now, and you have been warned of the probable repercussions. Make good decisions by thinking before you speak, and rereading before you hit the send button.

You can thank me for sharing, by sending amazon gift cards to mzsydney34@yahoo.com
 

Women do not want to be your comfy old slipper

Welcome all to the world where Goddess Sydney shares her words of wisdom!

Something that I am most definitely not, is your comfortable old pair of slippers just waiting for you to have use for me once again. 

I know that some of you are shaking your head saying "what the crap is she talking about?", so I am going to enlighten you in regards to the point of my post today.

There once was a male (not naming and faming him) who only came knocking at my inbox when he wanted to make use of me, and any other time he would ghost me like a sonofabitch til that time popped up again. Do you know why this pisses me off?

1)I do not appreciate males attempting to use me for their own personal gain..I know that you are laughing now, cause holy shit, isn't that what a FinDomme does to males, and the answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no.

Yes I use males for my own financial gain, but with that gain, I also expect them to follow my rules of domination, which means a)keeping in regular contact b)giving me priority in their lives c)completing all assigned tasks d)not being selfish or self-centered. Yup that is surely a butt load to expect isn't it?

What they gain from the experience is my level of control. They are free to relinquish control over that tight rope they walk in everyday life, and just give in to their desires of submission, which in turn promotes happiness for them. 

Are you beginning yet to grasp why I am peeved?

Let's digress.

2)Now not only does this male fail to keep in contact, but he is miserly with tribute, when I know full well that he spends three times as much on his own comforts than my own. Hmm does that sound like selfish and self-centered behavior? 

3)I have been so very kind in giving this male chance after chance to alter this undesirable behavior, yet it continues. I am not patience eternal, nor am I your Mother who will love and forgive you anything. I am a human being like any other (well I do consider myself pretty damn special :) which means, that even I am going to get fed up, and cut ties with those that lack basic appreciation of me. Sounds fair doesn't it? I think so. 

***Bottom line: Regardless of what role you play in my life. If you do not, cannot, or simply will not care for or about me more than you do yourself, than I do not want you playing any role in my life period.***

Judgement by default is your fault

Have you ever wondered why people online treat you like a piece of offal,even when that is not your fetish, boys? Human beings are flawed in nature,and have a tendency to judge others,by their words,actions,hell even by their car,home,or clothing..but online the last few really aren't tangible factors,for who other than you truly knows which possessions are yours or made up? Yes shockingly it is true that people lie online,especially in the findom realm. They fabricate luxurious lifestyles like those of the rich and famous,all the while hiding out in their infested shanty. They claim bill gate's bank balance even though they lack 2 nickels to rub together,hard to believe isn't it!!

The sad part is that honestly no one is fooled,and if they are,then I have a bozo button for them. I understand why it is perpetrated though. Males in society are judged by their possessions or lack thereof,therefore when they encounter a situation where they believe that they can fudge and get away with it,the temptation rules their better senses. Doesn't that one song speak of how you can be anything or anyone online,after all who will know right lol.

Well the truth is that it is quite telling who is being dishonest. First,people that possess an abundance of money,do not announce it(it is considered low class to do so),so red flags should appear anytime a male claims to be rich,or promise a windfall of tribute. Second,when a male refuses to share a facial photo(even after a few interactions) is a huge clue that he is hiding something vital,and considering that most Ladies I know aren't seeking to make a romantic connection with their servants(with only the delusional thinking elsewise)so what could they be hiding other than a Quasimodo appearance? I am always skeptical myself when I have no visual of who is serving me,thoughts bounce through my head like(are they underage,are they a serial killer,a stalker,my next door neighbor lol)

Some even lie about their gender,as in attempting to impersonate a female character,all the while holding their ding dong in their hand..this one is perhaps the most pathetic,for women are divine creatures to be held in the highest regard,unlike those who swing freely in their pants. Yes I just said that. I do see you as inferior to women,I have never made a secret of that,and no it is not a game I play at online. Those that play this game tend to ask Dommes to be their mentor(teach them what they do)or ask them to share stories about how they dominate submissives(yup they get off on living vicariously through another's experience).

They lie about what they will do ie:I will send a tribute lol(a tribute isn't real til the gift card is in your account,or the gift is in your hands),or I want to serve you,yet all that encompasses their mind is what they can get from a woman to sate their raging hard on(oh me so horny thinking,all they want to talk about is what turns them on),they even lie about their very name...oh yes the fetish world is overpopulated with john doe's,and john smith's.

There is a gigantic list of deceit executed by masses daily online(both sexes,sorry)but those who live in reality see the truth beneath the facade,which just may be why you receive what you deem unfair treatment,but in my eyes liars deserve nothing but scorn and ridicule,sorry not sorry. Moral of this post,DO NOT LIE!! To receive decent treatment,then you must first be decent.

To any that feel my comments are oh so negative in nature,they truly aren't since they are based in reality,no need to sugar coat a turd(it stinks even when you sprinkle pixie sticks on it),and the promotion of integrity in my opinion is a positive notion :)

No attention vs bad attention for the bois

Early In infancy we learn how to receive attention when we want or need something,so it only makes sense that this type of successfully proven behavior would carry over in adulthood,albeit somewhat altered in methodology I would hope,yet for some sadly it truly has not evolved that very far. As we mature chronologically it becomes understood that there are two types of attention,good and bad. Now bad attention generally carries undesirable consequences,whether they result in disciplinary measures or not,the point gets across quickly that bad=bad,therefore a reasoning being will deter from said actions in future.

Onto the positive. Rewards are a good thing,and who does not enjoy being praised for their behavior and accomplishments? It is a feeling that you can wrap around you on a cold winter's night. It is a basking of pleasure for a job well done,so why would one not work hard,and elect to act in accordance to receive the good? Whilst I may not be a masochist nor a humiliation junkie,I cannot comprehend how one would desire to receive poor treatment and despicable repercussions outside of play.

You may be asking,how in the heck does this apply to domination? Well,people are people,and they bring all of their hangups,and baggage with them,even into the online realm,in fact oddly enough many lack internal censorship when they get behind a monitor,which leads to many a problem. When you look at all of the femdom sites,feeds,posts,you will notice immediately a total lack of inhibitions,and no I am not judging it to bad or good,it just is. Where else though on the internet do you see folks putting up penis pic after penis pic? No where. If you think me incorrect,then why is it these same individuals are not posting such material on social media sites where their Mother,their Aunt,their Sister can see it...could it be that they feel free to do so only on bdsm sites because they recognize it as unacceptable behavior,but desire the attention anyway,regardless of whether it is good or bad? Can they be so very desperate for free sph humiliation(which gets piled on)? I think it so. Is it a good thing(it is for them),because receiving attention whether good or bad reinforces the mindset that they can do it and have their desires fulfilled freely. This is one of the reasons why I always say "do not feed the trolls".

Aside from needing an endless supply of eye bleach,another ill advised behavior in abundance is the "anyone here wanna humiliate,cam,degrade,rape my bank account?" Logically this type of inquiry denotes laziness plain and simple,so why then do we see such announcements flocked to and fed? It makes no sense. If a male stoops to advertising rather than working for the attention,then he will never learn how he should behave,which is not a positive. It presents a negative correlation=the more he acts in an intolerable manner,the more attention he receives,and that is what truly should be exiled,and avoided.

There seems to be an endless list of actions which should not be rewarded(and my fingers are cramping lol),instead should land them in the time out corner,and this is a duty of dominants to teach right from wrong when it comes to behaviors,else the scene becomes a circus,with the animals crapping everywhere,so each person should decide whether they want to enable odious actions or take a stand by saying "you will not shit where I eat!!".

Apologies if my opinions offend,but they are mine alone,and I stand by them.

Not missing you at all

That was a great song yes? Anyways this is not a post about missing someone in the sense the song plays to though. The missing I am going to speak out about,is in reference to availability and diligent efforts towards communicating in a timely manner.

We all know that developing any type of relationship be it vanilla or kink takes some time,and that can be impeded if one party is not available when the other is. This tends to happen when two time zones collide in a rub of friction :p so to speak. I have lost sleep being around for gents,and no I am not complaining,just stating that I make time for those that are worthy,and expect no less from those seeking to become my own.

Now in the onset of interactions it is supremely important especially for you gents,to respond promptly to missives,and consistently apply this,else you are going to run into issues immediately. Allowing days to lapse in between correspondence is going to lead a Domme to assume that you are lazy(or just not that into her),and not worth her time. Now if the problem stems from differing hours,do be a good pet and explain this to your prospective Lady,for most are quite understanding,and will work some type of schedule out,but you cannot remain mum and expect her to read your mind(sorry,we do not all have those super powers yet).

If indeed it is that you are not really into her,and fear having her go ballistic on you about it,well you are going to have to strap on those big boy panties,and politely relay that you do not believe the two of you to be a good match(do not,I repeat do not just go silent,block her,or delete your account on a site to avoid her),and yes this can be done in a well mannered way. There is absolutely no need to insult her on top of it,capiche? Never burn your bridges to ash,for you do not know what the future holds,and it may turn out her bff is the one Lady you crave to serve above all others,see what I am saying?

We are all adults here,and comprehend that things come up in life that cannot be avoided,and may even take you out of the scene for awhile,but it only takes a moment to dash off a note telling a Lady that you will be out of reach for an undetermined amount of time,so please remember your manners gents,for it is likely that you yourself would not care to be left wondering what the hell happened to the Lady you were speaking to. After all,it is plainly pathetic to think that it just may be you playing this sappy song wishing that you weren't missing her because you lacked decency.

Guys gone bad

***Disclaimer***
In no way shape of form does this post resemble certain videos or commentary released in said videos which is based upon sophomoric female actions.

In fact this post pertains to the title specifically. Not many Ladies contain their online presence to a mere site,and I do not differ in that train of thinking(more is better,and less is less likely to happen).
Anyway I have spent a great deal of my time these last few days logged into a site which has earned a gimlet glare from an unprecedented amount of Ladies in the financial domination fetish(bet each and every Domme knows which one I am referring to).

The real reason I indulge my presence there so much,is that it has been the most successful for me in the action of acquiring servants,shocking that my appeal is better received on a site not geared to my chosen fetish over a site that is(yup I scratch my head over that one too). These last few days though have seriously tried my patience. My profile there does not spell out in direct terms that I engage in financial domination(against their TOS),but it is easily deduced seeing as I mention twice that I do not engage in training for free,but no different than other sites, male members are notoriously disrespectful in that they do not read profiles. Reading profiles is something I have taken to the podium over, many many times,yet it never changes. Could it be that I am flogging a dead nag,or that bausch and lomb could be in the market for a substantial financial windfall due to all of the males with faulty eyesight(maybe pulling that puke stick so much really does rob males of their vision).

Of course I do not ever just assume that a male has read my profile,so I generally ask point blank if they have,even those that I know for a fact have not(I inserted in the first and last sentence of my profile how I am to be addressed),so when I get a message starting out with Miss,Ma'am,or Mistress, I know that my words have gone unread. I am polite though,and point out that it is important for them to read it,in order to form an opinion of whether they are a good match for me,or if we are ill suited,yet many still do not bother ack! So dear reader can you guess how this scenario progresses from bad to worse?

Let's pretend that you cannot for the sake of my content running short. Well most often said males will start off by proclaiming that they want to serve me,to do anything for me,perform any action which will make them mine(heard that one about a thousand times,and no I am not overestimating). Now comes the butthurt part. I remind them that I employ financial domination in every single D's exchange,for I view it as simply another aspect of TPE,no not the entirety,but a part of it. Whelp,oh my gosh the tone of the interaction changes,and that is if they respond at all,so we go from begging to belong to me to static silence. Sheesh all of this could have been avoided,all they had to do was read my profile first. Something so simple,yet laziness or loss of blood flow to the top head(due to photo erecting erections) prevented it's accomplishment.

The moral of the story is once more to read read read,and for all of the douche canoes that even when caught out,lie and pretend that of course they knew about my penchant for financial domination,and definitely they are more than happy to serve in such way,yet turn tail and scamper away when the time comes to put their money where their words proclaimed intent,well,I do wish you the best in finding what your heart(not your dick)seeks,and if you just happen to stumble and fall ass first onto a cactus,it would not bother me a bit :)

"submissive" negotiators

This is something that some of you attempt to do,and truly you should not even have the thought of doing so. Negotiation is an action best suited to business matters,not service. To clear away any confusion,yes you are allowed to have soft and hard limits(this is a granted),but the rest is at the discretion and direction of your dominant. They are leading,you are following,so if you are trying to alter the steps they take,then you are not following. Make sense?

Negotiation reminds me of the word compromise,and compromise is not an action which I engage in. As harsh and unyielding as it may sound to you,I do things my way,and that is not going to change for any special little snowflake. Of course the same method of training,and terms of service do not apply consecutively across the board,for each circumstance,and D's relationship is unique,rather than a cookie cutter cutout,regardless though,once I have taken the lead,this is the path to be followed.

It comes down to this,yes you have free will,and choices,but once a command is given,you are narrowed down to 2 options. You may either comply,and remain in service to me,or you may bow out,and be banished. No negotiations,no second chances.

As of late I have dealt with entirely too many males whom play at the pretense of serving,rather like they are role playing,and I am not. I see no point in leading people on,which is why I am generally blunt in my speech with those applying to serve me,for if there is no order from the get go,then there will only be chaos later,and that will be a downfall of any efforts towards erecting a viable dominant-submissive relationship.

Basically it boils down to acceptance and obedience. You accept that you were created to obey,and refrain from ploys to get your way through negotiation. Examples=1)My previous Domme would have done things this or that way.2)Offering a tithe to your owner which you know is insulting,and far below what you have to give.3)Declaring that you will do "this" if she does "that". 4)I do not really like doing so and so,could you give me this task instead. Any of these actions are unacceptable,and without a doubt insulting,which is the very last thing you should wish to do.

Remember that a D's relationship is based on power exchange,and if you are not relinquishing it,then there is no foundation,nor future in the relationship,so don't quibble,and never try to negotiate.

Unselfish Service

For the males that take the time to read the posts made by myself and several fellow ladies,I have no doubt that you have seen mention of the term "selfless service",but for those that do not..you are missing the point behind service,so I thought it best to educate submissives as to what the words actually mean,and how they are so very difficult,almost near impossible to find when describing the majority of males in the scene this day.

Let's first take a look at the words separately,selfless per webster's definition "Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish.". Now onto the definition of service which pertains best to D's "The performance of work or duties for a superior or as a servant." When we combine the words it equates to unselfish duties for a superior. I think somewhere along the way the seed of selfishness has taken root into the minds of males entering the bdsm scene,and this is what I hope to eradicate.

Selfless service is not enacted when a servant seeks only a means to their personal ends,how could it? To become selfless one must expunge the sentiments "I want" from their vocabulary when serving. It must become engrained within the psyche that the wants of the servant are not a primary motivator. I am not saying that a submissive should not enjoy serving,or that they should not take pride in the honor of it,but it should not be why they do it. The happiness and contentment of doing for your superiors should be based on their pleasure,rather than your own. The mindset should be "I serve because it pleases her,and that is what pleases me" Does this make sense? It does not sound fair does it? Well to be clearly upfront,it is not fair nor does it promote equality,and it never will. Being in service does not place you in the same bracket as your dominant:meaning that it is your dominant's will,drives,and desires which are in the forefront,and if it just so happens that your wants are fulfilled by them matching hers,then you are indeed fortunate,and have chosen well.

In conclusion,or if ever in doubt,just remember that the word "you" is not a part of the word selfless.

Can the rhetoric verbiage

As the title of this post implies, please do can all of the rhetorical verbiage some of you seem intent upon relaying. Alas many of you do not know that which I refer to, but I am here to show you the light.

When you are approaching a dominant Woman for the first time, why is it that a great many of you feel the need to spread the compliments like halloween candy? Has someone led you to believe that Ladies such as myself suffer from self-esteem issues, or that we are transformed into a puddle of mush upon hearing how lovely you find us, as if we did not know our own worth. One of the most beautiful qualities which a dominant Lady should possess is a sense of pride within herself. She knows that she is a breathing work of art in form and face, and that her mind is her greatest gift. Therefore when you contact her commenting on how gorgeous she is, you are definitely not telling her something that she has not heard over and over, and that slots you in with the nyquil crowd...you know, the ones whom put you to sleep.

This means that you are going to have to put some thought into what you say, rather than going the easy generic route. In most cases a small initial tribute is going to garner you a degree of notice way faster than sending a message which reads "hey beautiful",or "you are sexy",and let's be honest here, if you cannot afford to offer what I would deem a trivial tribute, then you truly should not be here, but on the other hand, breaking the bank is not going to get you any further if you do not have the intellect to hold up your end of a conversation.

As to what I mean by a "conversation"...a strictly vanilla one is what I am referencing. I myself do not care to sit around all day typing back and forth about kink...nope just not wired that way. It would bore me to tears in no time. If your interest is focused purely on the subjects which get you off, then are you really serving me? I do not think so, and that just is not submission in my book, which is what you are supposed to be offering yes??

One of the most original things you can do to keep the attention of a female, is be honest. Be truthful about who and what you are, then relay that in a manner a normal human being would comprehend. Be willing to share your interests outside of bdsm. Be open to communicating in a non-sexual context (after all this is not a bar, and one liners just won't cut it). Be able to treat the women you contact with respect, not like a piece of meat, or inanimate object. Think of reaching out as you would like that as if on a speed date (except recognize that no way in hell are getting any nookie) ,meaning that you should convey details pertaining to yourself in the same way that you would if you were sitting at a table looking the Lady in the eye when you are stone cold sober.

Take my advice gents...get original, or get tossed to into the ditches of deletion :)

Profiles can make or break a boy

I was inspired to type this up due to a piece I had read by Goddess Lea in which she touched upon the subject of a boy's profile and how it can influence an approach or a bypass,which I am choosing to expand upon regarding my own personal views.

I am always looking at profiles,males and females,just because lol. I have viewed tons of male profiles,and skirted away from ever interacting with some due to what I have seen or read there. I am positive that it could not be merely little old me that judges whether I would like to know a person based on what is on their profile.

One of the things that I bet most males do not realize could be a deterrent is if they have a ton of friends. It could just be that you are friendly,or that you want to have access to private photos which are set to friends only for some,or that you are not here to serve because you are broke,but it makes you feel important to have so many "friends",or even that you engage in that odd behavior of just collecting friends like some people do pez dispensers. Is that a fetish?

I also look at who their friends are and seek patterns. Now if all of their friends are brunette,does that not tell me something? Just as,if all of their friends are of a younger generation than I ,does that not relay something as well? These are both clues as to the fact that we are not going to mesh well.

The ones which really send up red flag warnings are those that are blank and non-verified,for this is indicative of sloth,and a lack of respect for the site and fetish. Surely it does not take that long to type up a couple of sentences,they need not even be full ones at that,not to mention that a non-verified status especially if you have been here longer than a couple of weeks just screams I am too cheap to support my fetish,or worse yet BROKE(yuck). In a fetish based upon financial,being cheap or broke likens you to a leper,get my drift,but then if you joined with the agenda of peeking and perving whilst pulling your pud,then enjoy your free time til your account becomes frozen :)

Onto ratings. You know those stars on your info page,whelp they mean something to those of us whom have been around awhile,and yes I always take note of them. If you have 20 1 star ratings I am sure as hell not going to place any faith in your ability to serve. This is not to say that you will never peev someone off and end up with a poor rating,but multiples are a no no. The best way to avoid this downfall is to remain honest and true. Never over promise,and most certainly never under deliver,last but not least,NEVER cancel orders,or make a promise which you cannot nor intend to keep. Your word is your bond baby.

The most icky(yes I used that juvenile verbiage) aspect of any profile is generally the photo section when it comes to males. For all that is holy man,women do NOT want to see your pecker or your puckered arsehole(personally it makes bile rise in my throat). Keep that shit under cover. Do not employ the site as a means to obtain free humiliation. If you just have to flash your equipment,do us all a favor and do it in public,that way you will be arrested,and unable to log into the site from the grey bar motel.

And finally if you are under consideration or owned,do your handler the honor of placing her name on your profile,lest someone think you a liar,but of course no male has ever lied about being owned when he wasn't now have they,ya right, so show pride in the fact that someone actually thinks you are of value to serve.

tic toc frenzy

Do you hear the clock ticking? Can you feel your heartbeat pounding in time with it? Are you like Alice's rabbit...running around like you are late? If so,then you are not alone.

Sadly it is actually humorous to see all the little brand spanking new boys scrambling about in an attempt to get owned up right away. I mean isn't that what it's all about anyway? The euphoric rush of getting exactly what you want when you want it. You enter the scene,make your desires known,and wham bam thank you Ma'am you're now owned. Gosh isn't it wonderful!!!

Of course that is until you take a step back(do be a good boy and remove your dick from your hand first) and look around. What do you see? Oopsy people are laughing at you,and not in the good(oh humiliate me for being a loser)way...nope you have now through your own inept actions made it clear that you are a dumbass sans an ounce of common sense. That is what happens when you allow your actions to be led by the little head.

No worries though little grasshopper,you are not the only one being laughed at. The key is for you to learn from this experience. Will you grow and take this lesson to heart,or will you wander around like one of little bo peeps sheep is the question.

We all start somewhere,and everyone one of us in the fetish scene have made mistakes(regardless whether they have seen the light of day),but those with the longevity required to last,do strive to turn the negative into a positive,so do not flagellate yourself over the fact that you jumped into a situation entirely too quickly. You are not the first nor will you be the last to join the scene and agree to become owned within an hour,a day,or even a week,but you can use your brain to take steps towards never allowing yourself to rush in without time and consideration ever again. Generally it is the Domme's duty to ensure that this does not happen,but apparently you cannot always count on it,so be prepared to do so yourself(you are a big boy right?).

In a realm where you are barked at hourly to pony up,keep in mind that your revenue is best saved for one that you take the time to get to know,and one whom is worthy of your offering,so keep that change in your pocket until you have chosen wisely rather than rashly,and you just might find the experience rewarding instead of laughable as the 15 minutes of fame for being the star of the findom comedy relief.

Femdom or faux

There appears to be an entirely new generation of males scouring the internet daily for a femdom fix. Do they actually find kernels of legitimate female domination,or do they stumble upon pornographic photos and films depicting what another male envisions femdom to be? Judging from the misconceptions conveyed to me in correspondences,I would lay odds on the porn angle,simply because the majority impart that they are seeking some type of sexual scenario,which does not exist.

Common sense should tell one that their visions,and hopes are unrealistic. I mean seriously,does anyone truly believe outside of a bar that a sober stranger wants to sensually play with their sexual organs,or enact a scene which gets them off for the pure pleasure of it? If you honestly buy into the fantasy,then please get psychiatric guidance,because you are living in la la land.

Female domination is not based on sex,hell domination itself is not either,but things have become so dastardly convoluted that one cannot see beyond tits,ass,pussy,and cock. I ask myself if this is merely a phase,or is this the new face of the fetish scene,and if it is,then I have no use for it. I genuinely mourn the loss of interacting with gentlemen whom appreciate a Lady,and respectfully bow down to her wishes,sans hidden agendas.

One would hope that with age comes wisdom and life shaping experience(the reason why I do not consider any male under 30),but even the males I have exchanged missives with within my desired age range have become soiled and spoiled into thinking that bdsm is all about them,and their cock emissions.

I would love nothing more than to slap a certain popular female femdom writer in the face due to her portraying males as treasures to be treated as a godsend. Yes submission is a gift,but that does not make you a special snowflake. Ask yourself just how many submissives do you think are on the internet,hell in the entire world looking for a Domme? You would be astounded to learn that you are one of thousands upon thousands,so why should any Lady consent to training you? What do you have to offer which makes you of value,and no the size of your equipment,nor a hot body matters. Pretty boys are a dime a dozen,so do not bank on that either.

 As a submissve your submission is a commodity,so what makes it of worth? Are you attentive,are you capable of integrity,and devotion? Do you possess the maturity to recognize that it is not your will that matters? I am not saying that you do not have the right to choose whom you serve,but I am saying that this is where you must drop the attitude that you are entitled to call the shots. A power exchange involves you relinquishing control,not barking orders from the bottom. You can never forget your place in service. You are the one serving,not the one being served,which is an entirely different endeavor,so keep this in mind when you are looking around at what the monkeys are doing,and try your best not to ape them,for you devalue yourself by doing so.

Research is the key of the day. Listen and Learn

Very rare video blog via MzSydney today

Acceptable or insultingly pathetic

One of the frequently posed queries to me from both sides of the equation is "how much do I offer in tribute-how much of a tribute do I ask for?" This question is made difficult to respond to sans knowledge of mitigating factors such as,the amount of disposable income pertaining to the one offering tribute. I mean if the male in question works at a fast food venue he most likely is not going to be able to put forth the financial remuneration that the CEO of a fortune 500 company would. Make sense? Oh and for all of you new to the scene,a boy that works at McDonalds is not the most viable servant if the financial aspects are paramount to you,seeing as the national average of minimum wage has been shown to place an individual well below the poverty line.

Another tid bit to take into consideration is if the male in question has children,as this can and will greatly affect the determined amount. You would not want to fall into the cesspool of scum which would deprive a child now would you? One would think that this is something that the male would not put at risk,but we all know that when the dick makes the decisions,that they forget all other incidental circumstances,therefore we have a responsibility to keep it in mind.

Onto the meat of the matter. What is not an acceptable amount to offer or receive? My response is subjective which means that of course it is not a set in stone rule for the community as an entirety,and with that being said $10 is no different than a slap in the face. Ladies we all know that you put forth an extraordinary amount of time and energy into developing your skills as a Domina,as well as marketing yourself in the hopes of connecting with a kindred spirit,and how could it not be insulting to see such a poor token in your account. What does that amount say in regards to how your time and attention are valued? Not much huh?

Now of course the destitute males are going to balk at my statements,and yes I comprehend why. One plea they may make is that heartfelt servitude should mean more than money(yup some do attempt to guilt you into accepting a meager pittance using the line that a real Domme does not care about money),and I am sure that it doesn't when you are speaking with a strictly lifestyle Domme(yet even they will expect gifts),but anytime you are approaching a Lady of findom,you have to accept that tribute is not trivial. Hell even in the vanilla courtship realm you will get no where with $10...wake up! You cannot even take a female out on a date for that amount,unless of course you find a naive girl whom does not mind the dollar menu and redbox (good luck),so I advise you to save up before you make your first contact. You certainly do not want to be referred to as the laughingstock broke bitch by all of the ladies,now do you? Oh and get the thought out of your head that offering to do something vile ie drinking your jizz juice,or sticking an object up your ass is replaceable in lieu of tribute. In case you did not know it,we see these acts each and everyday online already.

Basically I see $25 as the bottom of the line tribute amount,now mind you this is not what I would charge for sessions if I offered them,but it is a starting point that a respectable finsub should be able to easily afford,and if not,then they should be seriously questioning whether they actually belong in this fetish. There you go :)

Service Guru informercial for the day

Are you tired of being passed over,kicked to the curb,or not even noticed at all by the gloriously gorgeous ladies of findom? If so my boys I am here to help you out.

Now take a seat,cause the ride is a bit bumpy and fraught with the winds of denial.

1)Your approach is the beginning of it all. It can either fan a flame or find you banished to the vanishing isle. Being such a compassionate guru I am going to show you the do's and do nots.
Okie Dokie here we go.

Do be polite when contacting a Domme. Examples "Lovely day to you my Lady","Good morning(afternoon,evening) Madam,Miss etc... my name is (insert your name),and I would like to take this opportunity to relay my appreciation for you as a dominant Lady,and hope that you will accept a token(tribute) as a sign of my sincerity". " I wanted to take a moment to relay to you my appreciation for the obvious hard work crafting your profile,and the dedication towards your skills as a Domina,in the hopes that you would allow me the honor of coming to know you"

Do not initiate contact in this manner. "Hey babe you are so hotttt,you make my cock wave hello" or "Yo momma you r da shit,how bout u make my fantasies rl?" or even "hi here is a pic of my dic,what do you think?" Yup true story,I have had these exact sentiments shared with me,do you think these individuals are serving me??? Oh and for the love of all that is real,do NOT copy and paste messages,especially if you are forgetful and leave the last ladies name in the introduction!

Dear boys there is a reason why you are not getting anywhere close towards engaging in a D's relationship,much less a vanilla one. Try a little something something for yourself next time. Try talking to the female you approach just as you would one you met in the middle of the day on a sunny street. Now does this include blinding her with the sight of your one eyed willy(hope not,cause you most likely cannot afford bail money). Do you look her in the eye and start sprouting how you want tied down and strap on fucked like an animal in heat (ouch does your head hurt from hitting the pavement after she racked you?) Do you offer her cash to see her tits and bits(sheesh have your balls ever came back out after the last kick)

The point boys is that you have to start learning from your mistakes. Man up,and realize that life does not revolve around you or your penis,no matter how much you love it doesn't mean that others give a fark that it exists,see?? You in fact do possess the power to start over,and do it the right way.

If you want to impress a Lady,then you are going to have to think with the head on your shoulders,not the naughty one that gets you racked ok? An introduction is what sets the tone for your relationship,so remember keep it clean,polite,and most of all respectful.

That is all for today,back to your regular perving pleasures :)

Today's talk

Every day I see double digit males coming into the findom scene whom have absolutely no idea of what it means to serve. Now I do not fault you for not knowing how to go about things in the beginning,we have all been there at one point in time(being the new face or wallet so to speak) on the block. It can be overwhelming if you allow it to be.

Suddenly your inbox is under siege and blown up with offers and demands to serve. You slip into a euphoric feeling of stroked ego. It feels good to have so many females chasing after you,then the blow is dealt that it is not really you they want,but what you can offer. How low your self-esteem must be after learning the fact...or maybe you are the rare specimen that thrives on being used financially sans any return benefits. Either way unless you want to sink under the weight of the expectations placed upon you,your best route is to educate yourself about what this fetish entails,the good,the bad,and even the ugly. The effects of this fetish do travel over into your everyday life(money matters in every aspect of your existence). Goddess Belladonna,and Dr.Sue both have written some amazingly accurate posts about how to serve a dominant online. Take advantage of their expanded base of knowledge. It will provide you with atleast the basic knowledge of how to be a financial submissive..hell even a submissive itself. By educating yourself,you will be better equipped to take the first step towards serving or at the very least the ability to recognize that you are not meant to serve. There is nothing wrong with trying out different areas of submission,nor should you fear saying "This just isn't for me".

For now I will share some tips and advice with you.You definitely do not need to enter this arena if you cannot even support yourself. You should not come here if you are seeking a sexual relationship(femdom,nor findom are based on intercourse). Learn your limitations financially before you ever engage in a session or service. It is too easy to get all excited mentally and physically when you are interacting with a dominant women,that before you know it,you have blown your wad,and your paycheck. Now you are hurting,and not in a good way. I am not in any way advocating that you lie about your finances,but I am saying that you need to be upfront about what you can afford. Keep in mind that I am referring to your remaining finances after your bills and necessary expenditures,and yes you can live without starbucks lol.

Another thing to remember is that how you present yourself will be remembered. Do not ever consider putting out a lie of any kind. If you are not well off,then do not attempt to cast out a line of bait stating that you are as 1)you will draw sharks into your calm waters(they will rip you to shreds in a bloody way),and 2)you will be called upon the carpet to produce. If you are assuming that ladies do not share details with each other about the poor behavior of males,then you truly are making an ass of yourself,and this is not an attractive label,nor easy to slough off. Always put your best foot forward. Be polite when speaking with a lady even if she is not what you seek. Dominants are humans yes,but our egos should be thick enough to accept that there is no connection,so do not string her along to save her feelings. Honesty is ALWAYS your best policy. There is a way of stating your lack of interest without it being offensive though,so steer clear of insults or the rudeness of ignoring or blocking without providing an explanation.

Do not allow yourself to forget that there is a living breathing human being behind the monitor. She is not an inanimate blow up pleasure providing doll. Think of it like this,if you were to meet her face to face in public like you do hundreds of others,would you still say the things you say? If not,then you need to reconsider how you approach her. Being on the internet does not give you license to act like a sex talk starved dick displaying idiot. This type of behavior is suited to the animal kingdom not a submissive male. You are held to a higher standard than the lame pick up artists at the local watering hole. Showing respect to a woman is not shameful,it is just plain decent.

TBC......