Realistically one does not just jump into submissive service without first knowing what their role in the relationship entails, what their limits are in service, and what one hopes to achieve out of service.
1)Your role in a bdsm relationship *For the sake of clarity, I define any relationship which includes an exchange of power, within the scope of a bdsm relationship*
Your role as a submissive is to ensure that your actions are dictated by your desire to please your dominant. If you enter the exchange predisposed towards seeking your own gratification through any means not dictated by your dominant, than the relationship will ultimately fail. Your mindset must be selfless. You must be willing to forgo all that you knew of relationships predicated upon "vanilla" design. You as the male will no longer fulfill the leading role in the relationship. Instead the dynamic will see you flipped from all that you previously knew. You will be subservient to the will of another. Obedience and loyalty will be required of you. Outside of the hard limits you set prior to entering into service, you will comply with all tasks assigned to you. You will display respect in thought, word, and action towards your dominant. Protocol, expectations, and boundaries will be set via your dominant. These will vary from one dominant to another, so remember that nothing is set into stone, and you must be prepared to be flexible, and accepting.
2)Your limits in service
Newer males generally have absolutely no idea of what their hard and soft limits are. Of course you will know what fantasies of servitude excite you, but keep in mind that not all fantasies are pleasurable in reality. The most common hard limits are blood, sports that include feces, urine, or vomit, permanent marks, anything to do with children, or any illegal activity. You may wish to use those as a starting point and expand as you go. It is ok to try out activities which produce trepidation. You might start out with light impact play, spanking is a safe place to begin in order to gauge your tolerance for pain. Do not fret if you find that you are not a hard core masochist (most aren't), but atleast you will know whether you like a little or alot of pain. One of the most important aspects of any type of play in my opinion is having a safeword. A safeword is your safety net. Use it without shame, and shame to those who tell you that you do not need one before trust has been established. Your dominant will be able to take it from that point on, and she may decide to play along the edges of your soft limits. Soft limits tend to be ones where you may not particularly enjoy an activity, but you will endure it for the pleasure of your dominant. As you engage in play, you may indeed find that you enjoy activities which you never thought it possible for you to find pleasure in, so do not close yourself off from the possibilities.
3)What you hope to achieve out of service
Are you looking for peace, purpose, and clarity of self in life? Are you basely hoping to find an outlet of erotic pleasure? Are you solely seeking physical gratification? If you do not know what you hope to take away from the experience, than expect to be let down. Dominants in my experience are not mind readers, so you are going to have to be willing and able to verbalize your needs.
The most important thing you can do to make the transition into servitude smooth, is allot yourself some time to research fetishes, terminology, and PRICK. Do all that you possibly can to ensure your safety, and please remember that no matter how hot looking a female is, research her. Check out her social media, websites, profiles. Know exactly what type of dominant she is, and if her practices, and expectations align with what you are willing to do in service. I cannot stress that enough. If you study a Domme before you approach her, you will save the both of you time, which you will be thankful for in the long run.
Enjoy, and good luck!
Don't forget to be a good boy and send a tribute to mzsydney34@yahoo.com in thanks :)
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