Welcome all to the world where Goddess Sydney shares her words of wisdom!
Something that I am most definitely not, is your comfortable old pair of slippers just waiting for you to have use for me once again.
I know that some of you are shaking your head saying "what the crap is she talking about?", so I am going to enlighten you in regards to the point of my post today.
There once was a male (not naming and faming him) who only came knocking at my inbox when he wanted to make use of me, and any other time he would ghost me like a sonofabitch til that time popped up again. Do you know why this pisses me off?
1)I do not appreciate males attempting to use me for their own personal gain..I know that you are laughing now, cause holy shit, isn't that what a FinDomme does to males, and the answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no.
Yes I use males for my own financial gain, but with that gain, I also expect them to follow my rules of domination, which means a)keeping in regular contact b)giving me priority in their lives c)completing all assigned tasks d)not being selfish or self-centered. Yup that is surely a butt load to expect isn't it?
What they gain from the experience is my level of control. They are free to relinquish control over that tight rope they walk in everyday life, and just give in to their desires of submission, which in turn promotes happiness for them.
Are you beginning yet to grasp why I am peeved?
Let's digress.
2)Now not only does this male fail to keep in contact, but he is miserly with tribute, when I know full well that he spends three times as much on his own comforts than my own. Hmm does that sound like selfish and self-centered behavior?
3)I have been so very kind in giving this male chance after chance to alter this undesirable behavior, yet it continues. I am not patience eternal, nor am I your Mother who will love and forgive you anything. I am a human being like any other (well I do consider myself pretty damn special :) which means, that even I am going to get fed up, and cut ties with those that lack basic appreciation of me. Sounds fair doesn't it? I think so.
***Bottom line: Regardless of what role you play in my life. If you do not, cannot, or simply will not care for or about me more than you do yourself, than I do not want you playing any role in my life period.***
Welcome one and all to the world of Goddess Sydney's words of wisdom
Today I am going to preface this post with the obligatory notation of "not all", since so many choose to argue when it is not stated.
Sex workers are some of the kindest, and most compassionate people that you will ever encounter. Did you already know that? I bet not.
Why would I make such a sweeping generalization in regards to sex workers? Well, of course it is based upon my own experiences, and notice of behaviors. In society you will see that sex workers are looked upon with scorn and ridicule. They are treated as lesser beings. It is assumed that they must be intellectually and morally inferior to the rest of human beings, which in my estimation is doing them a horrible disservice.
It is often presumed that sex workers are 1 or more of these things
1)sex addicts
2)besieged with Daddy issues
3)come from an abusive background
4)are trafficked
5)emotional or physical masochists
6)misandrists
7)drug addicted
8)diseased(physically or mentally)
9)unkempt
10)meat for the male market
11)sans human emotions
12)unlovable
13)of no worth
14)suffer from decreased or non-existent self esteem
15)less than human
16)immoral
I point you now to my previous prefaced statement.
The sex workers that I know, are far from being clinically diagnosed as sex addicts, most do not suffer any type of mental disorder, nor are they haters of men. They entered sex work to achieve their financial goals, not unlike those of you who opt for a non-sexual career. They are the ones calling for safe sex practices, unlike the general populace of males contacting them asking for bareback action. They generally possess a love of self, and value their services as being of worth, which is why they charge fees.
Sex workers are very human, and on a more basic level than most, for they see the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly aspects of their clients day in, day out. They serve as substitute mother figures, therapists, confidantes, and lovers.
They are the first ones to step up and speak out about injustice. They support charities and fellow sex workers, sans having a personal stake, or expectation of receiving rewards for their actions. They are in fact a hell of alot better than the majority of males who contact them. They
are educated, and able to entertain conversation at above par levels.
They are savvy business women. They are success driven individuals with
strong work ethics. Don't believe me, well than take a moment to read the social media of most sex workers. I have seen many of them helping each other out,without gain. They do not require being shamed into acting like a decent compassionate human being, the polar opposite of the clients in the sex work scene. If anyone should feel guilt, it is the males who fail to stand up for these wonderfully creative, and resilient women.
Let's flip this script, and look to the average male who contacts a sex worker for services.
1)They treat women as if they are merely a pair of tits, a wet pussy, and an available ass. (Wow, hmm kinda sounds like they are the ones dehumanizing, and attempting to knock someone's self worth)
2)They ask, request, demand unsafe sexual practices (sounds like someone looking for an std)
3)They feel free to threaten violence when a sex worker denies them time or attention (misogynist much)
4)They believe it acceptable practice to send unsolicited dick pics (did you know that it is illegal to sexually harass someone)
5)They attempt to barter, and haggle over prices to the point of shaming sex workers for charging for their services
It is time to stop marginalizing sex workers. They are a group comprised of strong willed women, who play an integral part of humanity, so stop treating them as if they are intellectually, and morally challenged. Show them the same respect you would expect to be accorded, and if you truly are an ally to them, than speak out against those that are attempting to squash their voices!
Welcome to the sphere of Goddess Sydney! A place where you must earn your spot.
“Loyalty isn’t grey. It’s black and white. You’re either loyal
completely, or not loyal at all. And people have to understand this. You
can’t be loyal only when it serves you.” -Shamay
Loyalty when it serves only you is a guise of selfishness. Did you know that?
Loyalty is an essential building block in the foundation of a D's relationship. If loyalty is absent, than chaos will become destructive.
Most people living today have no grounded concept of loyalty, not even to those they claim as their own. Open up any news outlet online, and you will see family selling out family for a buck, or a minute of mentions. Utterly discouraging is it not? I believe so.
This is just one solitary reason why so many fail when it comes to achieving an enduring D's relationship.
Why is loyalty so very difficult to maintain in bdsm exchanges? I am going to share with you a few of my own thoughts as to the reason. Feel free to comment with your own thoughts, and opinions in regards to the subject.
1)Femdom is a literally smorgasbord of beautiful women. It is the candy shop which kicks all other candy shop's asses. There are just so many erotically stimulating women to offer your services to, so of course you may become overwhelmed, thereby eradicating your sense of reasoning when it comes to choosing just one to serve, cause why should you limit yourself when you can lick this one, take a bite of that one, even swallow of morsel of them all right? I get it, I really do. You guys are spoiled for selection. It is rather like winning the submissive lottery. Why should you be loyal to anyone other than yourself? That is the question, and it is up to you to make that choice. No one can force you to settle for a single slice, but please don't complain when you get sick from overindulgence. Eventually the best of you will deduct that variety is not always the spice of life.
2)Marital or romantic relationship status. Many of you that I see day in, day out, are already involved in a "vanilla" relationship, and this factor can lead you to draw a line of loyalty down the middle, in which you already have a primary interest, so what time you do devote online is a phantom piece of what an unattached male would offer up. Is that really fair, or even conducive to forming any type of cohesive D's relationship? I would say not.
3)You really are a selfish shit that cannot or will not see past the end of your dick. You have no concerns about forming any type of relationship beyond the one you enjoy wanking to. You will buzz like a bee to every single honeypot you can find. You are the slutiest of sluts, and worse than a huge zit on picture day.
4)You are purely immature. You have failed to grow into an adult mindset as of yet. You are young, and full of dumb cum, so you just have not developed the skills and maturity to recognize that loyalty has it's own rewards.
Loyalty is an intensely black or white quality in my estimation. You are either loyal or you aren't. There is no in between or kinda crap, and those that are not loyal are cut quick from my life. Life is short, and yes I know that most of you think that femdom is all fun fun fun, but if you cannot grasp the seriousness of some aspects, than I really want nothing to do with you.
Loyalty is an expectation of mine from the get go, and no it is not too much to ask for.
Now you tell me: Are you loyal? Do you expect loyalty from those in your life? Would you want anything to do with a person that you cannot count upon their loyalty to you?
Welcome all followers to the slice of sphere where my word is sacrosanct
This is your school where you will learn to serve a purpose greater than yourself.
This is your church where you will learn to worship and look beyond the material desires of man.
This is your home where you will find peace and comfort in knowing that you were created for something worthwhile.
Your male mind is polluted daily with notions which serve no use, other than to glorify the toxic patriarchy. You have been brainwashed into believing that you are greater than women, that your will is of more noble design than theirs, that you are essentially elevated above women by virtue of being born with a penis. Your mind is a chalkboard filled with erroneous facts, which must be wiped clean.
If the seed of desire for your evolution was not within you, than you would not be here now reading my words, and absorbing my direction. You want to change. You need to change. You must change. I propose the steps you should tread, but if your mind is not cleared of the chaos imbued through repetitious patriarchal programing, than you will fall flat, and fail in your purpose. Do you want to fail? Do you want to be a failure in this lifetime?
Where does change begin? It begins one assured step at a time. Begin by eliminating one selfish thought per day. Simple yes? Easy yes? Try this for 1 week, and share with me your progress. Tell me how you have began your journey towards absolution for your sins of selfishness. On the second week, eradicate one selfish act per day. Just one action. Surely it will not even impose upon you that very much. I mean, what could it hurt? Share with me what action you relegated to the bin of banishment. Try this for 2 weeks, and see if you are able to gain a better perspective of what it means to alter your life towards a selfless existence.
Onto the next step. Go through your clothing closet, and donate the items that you have not worn in a year's time. Not your underwear though, because that is beyond disgusting, just throw those away! Giving is receiving, and by donating you are aiding others, while encouraging the growth of selflessness within yourself. After the purge of unused clothing, move onto your other possessions. Do you need trinkets, and items gathering dust in your living space? Freeing yourself from the burden of their ownership will be like a breath of fresh air literally. Clutter is not conducive to a simple life. You do not need to own items that serve no use. This step involves a bit more effort, but not so very much that you cannot accomplish it within a a couple of weeks.
After all of this, I want you to take some time and pontificate upon how your life has changed at this point. You are freed from one daily act, and thought of selfishness, and you have reorganized your space to efficiency. Do you feel better about yourself? Do you see yourself as more productive, giving, and of use? Change can feel so very good, if you just give it a chance.
The bigger and more complicated steps will come next, but those I will save til you are ready to embark upon them.
Remember, one step at a time!
Welcome to the world of Goddess Sydney. Where words paint the picture of femdom reality. Join me..entertain me..obey me...and pay tribute to the divinity of Goddess!
Were you aware that I possess morals and limits in regards to femdom activities? I can see some of you scratching your balls, and thinking huh..a femdom (which most would classify as a sex worker) having morals. I bet that you think it to be an oxymoron, correct?
You would be wrong. I always have, and always will have clearly drawn lines of what I deem acceptable in my own form of femdom. I have that right, just as you have the right to declare what is off limits in your estimation. Hard limits differ in each individual, and it should go without saying that anything illegal should be a hard limit for everyone, but of course you will see some people hugging the curve so closely, that they eventually run right off the track into legal jeopardy. You do not want to be that person, believe me, so even if you fantasize about something seriously over the line, keep it a fantasy only.
A trending fetish fantasy is homewrecking. Homewrecking has been an area where my feet would not tread, but slowly I have been pontificating aspects of it. I am not referring to the role play of it, that many poke at, but rather at the reality of plunging into it eyes open.
My issue with the fetish has been the thought that it infringes upon my moral code of bringing no harm to fellow women, but would it really be me bringing harm? I am not the one insidiously venturing online to get my jollies whilst my partner is utterly unaware of my activities. That is YOU. It is you that has made commitments, and oaths of fidelity, which are being broken without consent. That is YOU.
Your betrayal is what makes you unworthy of your SO. Therefore I might indeed view myself as in fact aiding my fellow female by removing your presence from her life. She deserves better than you. She deserves a man who is honest, trustworthy, and capable of controlling his base instincts to stray. That is NOT you. You are a liability to her future happiness, and I would be doing her a favor by severing the bond built upon lies. Don't you agree?
Some would argue that it is kinder to allow your SO to live a lie, but is it really? We both know that you are not going to change. You simply do not want to. You like the perversity of interacting with other women in a manner that suits your sexual desires. Your heart races, and the blood pools in your groin when you think about pushing the envelop to the very edge of exposure, but are you ready for the reality of it? Are you prepared to live your life alone, bereft of a woman standing by your side through thick and thin? Do you really want to plunge into the dark icy unknown world of homewrecking? Are you ready to be wrecked?
I am not talking about playing a role, or a game where everything returns to normal when you get up from the computer, crawl into bed, and snuggle up to your SO with a raging hard on because of your nasty nocturnal habits. I am referring to the cold sheets, half your assets removed, no one there to hear you whimper in the dark DIVORCE. Where your only comfort comes from following my orders to the T. No pity, no leniency. Just you doing as told, day after day after day. You ready? You want it? You got to have it?
Think real hard about it, because there is no going back. No do overs. No second chances for you. Tick tock goes the marital clock.
Welcome to my strand of the net....
Have you as a male ever seen me preach about the virtue of being less selfish in submissive service? If you are a first time visitor to my blog, than it is unlikely, but if you are a regular follower of mine, you could not legitimately deny it.
I have spoken of the importance of relinquishing self serving agendas from day one. It is both significant, and a requirement of providing essential service in a femdom relationship. How would you possess any reasonable expectations of your efforts being recognized as of value, if your focus remains internal? You cannot.
Serving in submission to a dominant woman is both a blessing and a curse so to speak. A blessing, in that it forces you purge yourself of the curse of male entitlement. I realize that many of you even fail to recognize that you believe yourself to be entitled, but I am here to flash it before your face.
You live in a society where women continue to be thought of (even if only subconsciously) as possessions of males and extensions of their prowess. This mentality is in direct opposition of the definition of femdom, which is why so many of you fail in your attempts to actually get to the down and dirty, nitty gritty aspects of servitude to women.
You walk around day in, day out believing in your core of beliefs that men are owed by women. That on some basic level, women owe you their sexuality, and their submission to your designs. This is a debilitating, and destructive set of ideals. No doubt some of you are crying out "not me", or "not all men"....but it is ALL men. Now I am not inferring that some men are not further along the journey to freeing themselves from this misogynistic ideology than others, but I do question if any man is ever totally freed from the ingrained chains of it.
In order to effect change, one must be willing to alter themselves to the point at which they wish to see others emulate. You must begin to ask and answer difficult soul searching questions, such as
1)Do you truly want to serve women, or is your agenda to serve predicated upon your desire to have your desires met?
2)Must you receive in order to give? If so, your giving is not selfless.
3)Is your offer of servitude confined to the bedroom..ie activities where you are likely to gain gratification?
4)Is your servitude based upon your level of physical attraction to a woman? If so, would you imagine it fair to say, that you are objectifying her for your personal preferences?
I will not stretch your mind with further ongoing queries today, but those 4 should push your comfort level down a notch.
My goal is for you as submissive male, is to take a hard look at your motivations in service, and to see what drives you to submit. If that motivation is based upon selfishness, you are not truly submitting, but rather attempting to role play it, and that is not beneficial in the long run, for you are failing to fully submit. Sure, are getting off to the idea of submitting, but you are bypassing the deeper meaning of the submissive experience, and that is where the beauty of femdom lies.
To the troglodytes in the back row, I am going to break this down to the simplest level possible. Selfish=bad Selfless=good.
Til next we speak, poppets
Goddess Sydney
Welcome one and all to the sphere of Goddess Sydney....
Do you know what it means to be dependable? Being dependable means that a person can continuously rely upon you. Is this something you think about, or is it simply ingrained within you?
Your youth tends to set the tone for the development of dependability. Ask yourself these questions to ascertain the truth of your level of dependability.
1)When you were in school, could your teacher depend upon your attendance, and diligence to completing your homework, or were you a truant sloth?
2)Did you have friends who felt comfortable sharing their secrets with you? Was their trust misplaced? Could you be counted on being a dependable friend?
3)When your parents assigned you chores, could they rely upon you to see them done, or did you offer excuses and insolence?
4)When you applied for your first job, did your prospective employer make it clear that you must show up on time each and every scheduled day if you wanted to retain the position? Did you keep faith with that commitment, or were you late with regularity, or absent many shifts?
5)Did you have girlfriends, and were you faithful to that relationship, or were you a cheating coward who lacked the backbone to sever the ties before seeking thrills elsewhere?
Fast forward to today
1)Are you a dependable man?
2)Are you a man of your word?
I want you to really think about your answers before you ever approach me to serve in a submissive capacity. Dependability is a required trait in any submissive I undertake to train.
If I cannot depend upon you, than you really serve no use. Trust is one of the cornerstones of a bdsm relationship. You trust me not to push beyond your hard limits, or to the point of permanent damage, and in turn I trust you to be an honest, loyal, selfless, devoted, dependable man. Without that trust, there is no future in a power exchange, and I for one play the long game.
When I set a task, or ask that you be available to me, even note a schedule for regular tithing, than I need to be able to depend upon you to accomplish what I put before you as commands, so keep this in mind when first you ask to kneel for me, otherwise you are knowingly wasting my time, and yours, which is a cardinal sin in the book of Goddess Sydney!
