Long term service requires a stirring and persistence of emotional ties. I speak not of business arrangements..ie a purchase of virtual attention(sessions),literal(panties,socks etc),or media(clips,photos,or PS),for these are simply a satiation of male desires in exchange of currency,and that is NOT service. Service is what we seek is it not? If not,then feel free to disregard my words.
Emotional bonds of ownership evolve over time,much more than a moment,day or week. An eternal journey where lust blossoms into respect,and from there a consideration of tenderness. Lust on it's own is a fleeting fad,which fails to produce viability of anything other than orgasm,therefore deeper connections must be striven for. To remain in service lifelong,dare I say it,love must be evoked,for given time,flesh will not remain where the heart is not involved,so truly love does conquer,even that of the male beast.
What it all boils down to,is that even if a male desires a woman's flesh,and finds her utterly enticing sexually,eventually he will tire of the lust he has known,in order to spark it anew with another(nature of the beast),so the best of designs incorporates the silken trappings of love,and it is love which keeps them on a leash long term. Cage the heartfelt emotions,and you will have them eating out of your hand like the tamest of creatures.
Showing posts with label D's relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label D's relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
The honeymooners
Aw the honeymooners(no I am not talking about Alice&Ralph). The honeymoon(or courting) phase of a D's relationship,especially one which involves the beloved findom aspect,is an absolute rush. Like the pistons on a locomotive,tributes tend to pump fast and furious in this stage...where the simple sight of a username dries the mouth,pounds the pulse,and heightens all sense of anticipation. It is a heady experience,beautiful,yet dangerous as well,for this is the stage where often we see overpromising,and underdelivering..or worse yet,a boy goes beyond his means,and becomes bereft of the needed income to survive,and honor financial commitments til the next pay period.
It is not only males who are vulnerable and at risk for pushing too far at this point. It is the duty of a respectable and trustworthy dominant to ensure that no harm occurs,and whilst the reasoning could be applied that these are grown ass men capable of deciding for themselves if they want to be broken,we must as Dommes maintain a degree of responsibility(atleast we should do so). If we do not control the depth to which they plunge,then we run the very realistic danger of breaking a boy,which is a lose lose.
Sometimes I fear that a cold and clinical atmosphere(strictly keyboard-monitor relationship) possesses the possibility of detaching one from a sense of compassion and regard for the very realistic consequences of allowing boys to go for broke. I completely understand the almost orgasmic pleasure of seeing tribute after tribute spoiling our accounts,and recognize how difficult it can be to say no to something that feels so good..but being grounded in reality aids me,and allows me to take a step back and maintain control of the situation. I truly believe that a leader leads by example,and cannot guide the way if judgement is clouded by hunger,hunger for the almighty dollar. Yes money is both loved and hated. It is chased,and responsible for some of the most despicably base actions of human beings,and yet we need it to survive in this world,ironic.
Navigating the honeymoon phase is a learned experience,and yet still there is room for error. I avoid these pitfalls by taking this time to delve further into the mind of the submissive,for these are the moments when he is most vulnerable,and most likely to open up to you. He desires only to please you,which is a gift greater than money. If this desire is nurtured,it can develop into a longterm addiction for him,thereby gracing your life with a male who seeks the enrichment of your existence,and that is worship in my estimation. Of course a male is easily led by his libido,but that will not capture his mind,and once the ejaculation is over,so might his craving to serve be as well,which is why one should grasp this golden opportunity to swim in the darkest recesses of his psyche,enslaving him to your will.
Once past this phase,the work begins in earnest,and requires time and effort from both sides,yup I said it. It would be lovely if all I had to do was just sit back and watch hapless males fall prey to my appearance,but that just won't cut it if I want to forge a lasting bond. The formation of a bond is not going to happen overnight. It takes sacrifice(many an hour of sleep have I lost,spent interacting,and really getting to know a boy,the facets of his life,and aspects of his personality,not just his kinks) I recognize the importance of kinks meshing,but if I cannot stand the male as a human being,then it will not matter a lick if we like the same activities.
I realize that longterm is not the goal for everyone,and that is absolutely cool(no judgement from me),and of course I understand that some crave to always be going through the honeymoon phase by either bouncing Domme to Domme...or in the case of the Domme,draining one after another dry..and I say whatever tickles your fancy :)...just don't play that game with ME,and all will be well!
Anyways,the prime message I wanted to send out is that at some point we must all exercise some degree of control,lest harsh realities be visited upon our asses,either in the form of not being able to pay bills,buy food etc for the boys,or lack of worthy worshipful servants for the Ladies. Good luck to all,and may you be blessed with what you seek :)
It is not only males who are vulnerable and at risk for pushing too far at this point. It is the duty of a respectable and trustworthy dominant to ensure that no harm occurs,and whilst the reasoning could be applied that these are grown ass men capable of deciding for themselves if they want to be broken,we must as Dommes maintain a degree of responsibility(atleast we should do so). If we do not control the depth to which they plunge,then we run the very realistic danger of breaking a boy,which is a lose lose.
Sometimes I fear that a cold and clinical atmosphere(strictly keyboard-monitor relationship) possesses the possibility of detaching one from a sense of compassion and regard for the very realistic consequences of allowing boys to go for broke. I completely understand the almost orgasmic pleasure of seeing tribute after tribute spoiling our accounts,and recognize how difficult it can be to say no to something that feels so good..but being grounded in reality aids me,and allows me to take a step back and maintain control of the situation. I truly believe that a leader leads by example,and cannot guide the way if judgement is clouded by hunger,hunger for the almighty dollar. Yes money is both loved and hated. It is chased,and responsible for some of the most despicably base actions of human beings,and yet we need it to survive in this world,ironic.
Navigating the honeymoon phase is a learned experience,and yet still there is room for error. I avoid these pitfalls by taking this time to delve further into the mind of the submissive,for these are the moments when he is most vulnerable,and most likely to open up to you. He desires only to please you,which is a gift greater than money. If this desire is nurtured,it can develop into a longterm addiction for him,thereby gracing your life with a male who seeks the enrichment of your existence,and that is worship in my estimation. Of course a male is easily led by his libido,but that will not capture his mind,and once the ejaculation is over,so might his craving to serve be as well,which is why one should grasp this golden opportunity to swim in the darkest recesses of his psyche,enslaving him to your will.
Once past this phase,the work begins in earnest,and requires time and effort from both sides,yup I said it. It would be lovely if all I had to do was just sit back and watch hapless males fall prey to my appearance,but that just won't cut it if I want to forge a lasting bond. The formation of a bond is not going to happen overnight. It takes sacrifice(many an hour of sleep have I lost,spent interacting,and really getting to know a boy,the facets of his life,and aspects of his personality,not just his kinks) I recognize the importance of kinks meshing,but if I cannot stand the male as a human being,then it will not matter a lick if we like the same activities.
I realize that longterm is not the goal for everyone,and that is absolutely cool(no judgement from me),and of course I understand that some crave to always be going through the honeymoon phase by either bouncing Domme to Domme...or in the case of the Domme,draining one after another dry..and I say whatever tickles your fancy :)...just don't play that game with ME,and all will be well!
Anyways,the prime message I wanted to send out is that at some point we must all exercise some degree of control,lest harsh realities be visited upon our asses,either in the form of not being able to pay bills,buy food etc for the boys,or lack of worthy worshipful servants for the Ladies. Good luck to all,and may you be blessed with what you seek :)
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Jerking is for jokers
The title is misleading,as I am in no way referring to jerking in the masturbatory sense,but rather discussing the behavior of being a jerk.
In the online realm as well as real time,relationships do not always go smooth,or even last. Some are even fated to fail from the get go,but that does not mean that they need to end with sour thoughts and hard feelings.
One of the defining qualities of being an adult is maturity. Now I know that everyone has heard that word at one point and time,but,and that is a big but,not everyone is capable of handling situations with maturity,especially ones that have the potential for uncomfortable emotional outbursts.
How you deal with such situations is up to you,but always be prepared for the repercussions if you do so with a juvenile approach. There are right ways,and wrong ways to break off a relationship,even a bdsm one.
The most common action for dissolution I have seen is the magical act of disappearing. In this scenario,the servant simply fades from existence(just like a deserter from the armed services). They may cease logging into the site where they met the other person,or even going so far as to block the one they served or close out their account,and make up a new one entirely. Now these are the juvenile actions I referred to. It is akin to closing the closet door,and pretending that the monster(problem) is no longer there,but where this will bite you in the ass,is that eventually you will run out of closet space,and all of your junk will be visible to the world(community)...then what shall you do? Believe it or not,dominants do speak with one another,even warn each other about the undesirable proclivities of certain males. You may even find yourself credited with a poor reputation,which will deter you from being taken seriously,or even considered for service at all,and that equates to game over for you.
I realize that it is a difficult feat relaying to a dominant that you no longer desire to serve them,but this is what separates the men from the boys. Men do not run from possible verbal confrontation. I mean seriously,what can someone actually do to you from the other side of a monitor,virtually nothing other than pointing out you are acting like a douche,and let's be honest,it most likely is not the first time you have been described as such,so man up.
There have been plenty of males that just did not work out when it came to serving me,for one reason or another,but the ones that hold my respect are those that came to me directly and stated in a polite and deferential manner why they felt that it was not working,and asked for release. By being honest,I had absolutely no reason to be angry,or whip them with a tirade of backlash. This type of behavior,also leaves the door open for a return to my feet if they are able to work through their issues.
The ones that behaved like asshats though by running without saying a word,are the ones I block permanently. As the saying goes "never burn your bridges",because then it is too late for reconciliation of your transgressions,and yes there have been quite a few who regretted jumping ship,but there was no way back for them,and no amount of tribute could alter my decision.
I am not saying that all dominants will accept an application to sever ties in such a manner(there are always exceptions),but you will never find out,especially if your modus operandi is tucking tail and burrowing out a hidey hole til the storm blows over,so in conclusion I will end this post with a spongebob quote "don't be a jerk".
In the online realm as well as real time,relationships do not always go smooth,or even last. Some are even fated to fail from the get go,but that does not mean that they need to end with sour thoughts and hard feelings.
One of the defining qualities of being an adult is maturity. Now I know that everyone has heard that word at one point and time,but,and that is a big but,not everyone is capable of handling situations with maturity,especially ones that have the potential for uncomfortable emotional outbursts.
How you deal with such situations is up to you,but always be prepared for the repercussions if you do so with a juvenile approach. There are right ways,and wrong ways to break off a relationship,even a bdsm one.
The most common action for dissolution I have seen is the magical act of disappearing. In this scenario,the servant simply fades from existence(just like a deserter from the armed services). They may cease logging into the site where they met the other person,or even going so far as to block the one they served or close out their account,and make up a new one entirely. Now these are the juvenile actions I referred to. It is akin to closing the closet door,and pretending that the monster(problem) is no longer there,but where this will bite you in the ass,is that eventually you will run out of closet space,and all of your junk will be visible to the world(community)...then what shall you do? Believe it or not,dominants do speak with one another,even warn each other about the undesirable proclivities of certain males. You may even find yourself credited with a poor reputation,which will deter you from being taken seriously,or even considered for service at all,and that equates to game over for you.
I realize that it is a difficult feat relaying to a dominant that you no longer desire to serve them,but this is what separates the men from the boys. Men do not run from possible verbal confrontation. I mean seriously,what can someone actually do to you from the other side of a monitor,virtually nothing other than pointing out you are acting like a douche,and let's be honest,it most likely is not the first time you have been described as such,so man up.
There have been plenty of males that just did not work out when it came to serving me,for one reason or another,but the ones that hold my respect are those that came to me directly and stated in a polite and deferential manner why they felt that it was not working,and asked for release. By being honest,I had absolutely no reason to be angry,or whip them with a tirade of backlash. This type of behavior,also leaves the door open for a return to my feet if they are able to work through their issues.
The ones that behaved like asshats though by running without saying a word,are the ones I block permanently. As the saying goes "never burn your bridges",because then it is too late for reconciliation of your transgressions,and yes there have been quite a few who regretted jumping ship,but there was no way back for them,and no amount of tribute could alter my decision.
I am not saying that all dominants will accept an application to sever ties in such a manner(there are always exceptions),but you will never find out,especially if your modus operandi is tucking tail and burrowing out a hidey hole til the storm blows over,so in conclusion I will end this post with a spongebob quote "don't be a jerk".
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Out of order
One of the easiest ways to flip my welcome mat over is to approach me like you would a fetish machine, quarters out, punching in your selection for what you want. Unlike your local vending dispenser I offer only 2 choices, serve or do not serve. Once you have chosen, then either you relinquish control, or you disappear. It leaves little room for confusion doing it this way.
My expectations are that when you come to me, that you have studied up on me (read my blogs, read my profile, for these are your bible verses) and have already decided that you are prepared to work towards becoming my loyal servant (this is a sign of sincerity), else wise why would you waste time approaching me, and believe me that yes it is a waste of time to contact me if you are not sure of mind. I recognize that many of you are new, and just finding your footing so to speak along the slippery slopes of service, which is why I advise you to wait til such time as you know exactly what you are agreeing to by entering into serving a Domme. Only fools rush in ill prepared. Are you a fool? Oh please do respond in the negatory, for there are entirely too many of those in life outside of the fetish world.
There are multitudes of differing styles when it comes to domination, but mine is fairly straightforward. I am old school in my ways. I believe that a collar or consideration is EARNED. It is not a given, and it takes more than a couple of tributes to get that distinction, so please do not for a moment in time allow yourself to think that I will make it easy for you. Any relationship, and I do mean any, requires effort, for anything just given to you, is pale in comparison to something that you have diligently applied yourself towards achieving. I desire only those that are not fearful of working hard (sloth is a sin, not to mention ugly), that do not live in the magical land of entitlement (only in fantasies will you receive the golden ticket for a free ride) ,nor they whom see themselves as a buyer of domination (your money buys you nothing with or of me). A school where respect and manners are of the highest accord. The arena where gentlemen are favored and cads are fed to the lions (yup nice guys get a pass around the red rope which detains the reprobates).
Submission to me is a release (not a physical one, take note that chastity is my favored fetish)..a release of all the stress imposed upon you by a constricting life. In my realm you are allowed to let loose the hidden submissive which the world cannot accept. A safe haven where you can finally be what it is that you truly are. A dominion where there is no shock or disgust that your heart's desire is to kneel, to beg, to give yourself over to the power of another. What you will not find though, is a release from consent. In my mind "force" is a four letter word. Never shall I force anything. I am not here to coax, cajole, bully, take, or seduce your submission. If you are not submitting of your own free will, than I do not desire your submission.
Now is that not a simple view for you? If not, then I will list off what you should have gathered from this post of mine.
1)Dommes are NOT objectified fetish machines
2)Know what it is that you want (serve or do not)
3)Hard work opens doors that money cannot
4)Gentlemen are desired
5)Force and entitlement are no nos
6)Consent is needed, consent is required, consent, consent, consent
My expectations are that when you come to me, that you have studied up on me (read my blogs, read my profile, for these are your bible verses) and have already decided that you are prepared to work towards becoming my loyal servant (this is a sign of sincerity), else wise why would you waste time approaching me, and believe me that yes it is a waste of time to contact me if you are not sure of mind. I recognize that many of you are new, and just finding your footing so to speak along the slippery slopes of service, which is why I advise you to wait til such time as you know exactly what you are agreeing to by entering into serving a Domme. Only fools rush in ill prepared. Are you a fool? Oh please do respond in the negatory, for there are entirely too many of those in life outside of the fetish world.
There are multitudes of differing styles when it comes to domination, but mine is fairly straightforward. I am old school in my ways. I believe that a collar or consideration is EARNED. It is not a given, and it takes more than a couple of tributes to get that distinction, so please do not for a moment in time allow yourself to think that I will make it easy for you. Any relationship, and I do mean any, requires effort, for anything just given to you, is pale in comparison to something that you have diligently applied yourself towards achieving. I desire only those that are not fearful of working hard (sloth is a sin, not to mention ugly), that do not live in the magical land of entitlement (only in fantasies will you receive the golden ticket for a free ride) ,nor they whom see themselves as a buyer of domination (your money buys you nothing with or of me). A school where respect and manners are of the highest accord. The arena where gentlemen are favored and cads are fed to the lions (yup nice guys get a pass around the red rope which detains the reprobates).
Submission to me is a release (not a physical one, take note that chastity is my favored fetish)..a release of all the stress imposed upon you by a constricting life. In my realm you are allowed to let loose the hidden submissive which the world cannot accept. A safe haven where you can finally be what it is that you truly are. A dominion where there is no shock or disgust that your heart's desire is to kneel, to beg, to give yourself over to the power of another. What you will not find though, is a release from consent. In my mind "force" is a four letter word. Never shall I force anything. I am not here to coax, cajole, bully, take, or seduce your submission. If you are not submitting of your own free will, than I do not desire your submission.
Now is that not a simple view for you? If not, then I will list off what you should have gathered from this post of mine.
1)Dommes are NOT objectified fetish machines
2)Know what it is that you want (serve or do not)
3)Hard work opens doors that money cannot
4)Gentlemen are desired
5)Force and entitlement are no nos
6)Consent is needed, consent is required, consent, consent, consent
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Monday, January 5, 2015
A difficult feat
Patience patience patience. A simple word,but a difficult feat to accomplish. Take a look at any forum where FinDommes gather,and what will you see besides the gauntlet of ads once must skirt through? Inevitably there will be a lonely little post posing the query "where are all of the Dommes/subs at" This is not contained to a single site. It is everywhere in the fetish scene. Predominantly though in the findom field. Why,well because in this arena females outnumber the males exponentially,and the ones whom actually do tribute and serve are snatched up like starving beggars who have found a dumpster full of food,not to mention that the Dommes are becoming jaded due to being overrun by fetish clients rather than servile submissives,so be prepared to wait patiently until you are approached or approach one that meets your personal criteria and standards,and for farks sake do not base your criteria on how full the wallet is,or how hot the ass is.
Possessing the attribute I mentioned will over time yield the desired results you crave,trust me. Scampering,scurrying,and pestering every male or female you see joining the sites is NOT going to get you anywhere,unless that is you enjoy being thought of as a desperate hoser(doesn't sound like an attractive adjective does it)? Yes they have said for centuries that the early bird gets the worm,and that you must be aggressive to get anywhere in the world,but I ask you this,did you ever hear the one about the meek inheriting the earth? What I take from the previous adage in regards to findom is that awaiting your prey to come to you is sweeter and more lucrative than wasting your energy chasing after something which may result in a bitter taste on your tongue when you find out that it was not something meant to be,and for you boys,being meek and humble will definitely set you apart in regards to worth compared to all of the horny wank off wallys.
Patience does not mean the advocacy of being a wallflower or like a beetle hiding in a knot hole on the wall,nor does it mean acting like you are a bull in the arena rushing at every (Domme,sub) you see. Patience,dignity,and perseverance are the traits of one whom possess the staying power required to maintain until you are at last in the home stretch of developing a meaningful connection.
Now some of you are saying "this just ain't me,or how I roll",and that is fine,cause it is not a secret that those out for a quick wank or buck will always show their colors by their lack of patience,so go ahead and make your intentions known to the community at large by your actions,but keep your lips sealed when you find that no one of serious intent wants to play with you.
Possessing the attribute I mentioned will over time yield the desired results you crave,trust me. Scampering,scurrying,and pestering every male or female you see joining the sites is NOT going to get you anywhere,unless that is you enjoy being thought of as a desperate hoser(doesn't sound like an attractive adjective does it)? Yes they have said for centuries that the early bird gets the worm,and that you must be aggressive to get anywhere in the world,but I ask you this,did you ever hear the one about the meek inheriting the earth? What I take from the previous adage in regards to findom is that awaiting your prey to come to you is sweeter and more lucrative than wasting your energy chasing after something which may result in a bitter taste on your tongue when you find out that it was not something meant to be,and for you boys,being meek and humble will definitely set you apart in regards to worth compared to all of the horny wank off wallys.
Patience does not mean the advocacy of being a wallflower or like a beetle hiding in a knot hole on the wall,nor does it mean acting like you are a bull in the arena rushing at every (Domme,sub) you see. Patience,dignity,and perseverance are the traits of one whom possess the staying power required to maintain until you are at last in the home stretch of developing a meaningful connection.
Now some of you are saying "this just ain't me,or how I roll",and that is fine,cause it is not a secret that those out for a quick wank or buck will always show their colors by their lack of patience,so go ahead and make your intentions known to the community at large by your actions,but keep your lips sealed when you find that no one of serious intent wants to play with you.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
quick notation
Submitting is about completely letting go and fully surrendering yourself to domination. Holding back,or going at it tepidly cheats everyone. If you are indecisive,it is you that will lose out. Of course it can be a stomach dropping decision,but just as one does when riding a roller coaster,throw up your arms,and enjoy the experience whilst embracing the sheer exhilaration factor.
Of course there will be ups and downs,that is with any relationship in life,and yes even in a D's one you must be realistic. There may be moments,hours,or even days where you simply have so much going on in your life that submission is the last thing on your mind,and this is when you need to just breathe and be honest with whomever you serve about your mindset and situation. The worst thing to do is to disappear. Relationships are hard work,never forget that. Yes it all seems so easy in the beginning when your lusty hormones are in overdrive,but that does fade in time,and that is when the work begins in earnest.Nothing in life is worth a tinkers darn if you have not earned it,so be prepared to put in some effort.
Of course there will be ups and downs,that is with any relationship in life,and yes even in a D's one you must be realistic. There may be moments,hours,or even days where you simply have so much going on in your life that submission is the last thing on your mind,and this is when you need to just breathe and be honest with whomever you serve about your mindset and situation. The worst thing to do is to disappear. Relationships are hard work,never forget that. Yes it all seems so easy in the beginning when your lusty hormones are in overdrive,but that does fade in time,and that is when the work begins in earnest.Nothing in life is worth a tinkers darn if you have not earned it,so be prepared to put in some effort.
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